The Five Stages (of Going to the Bathroom in the Middle of the Night)

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This has become my life at night. Whether it’s because I am 45, or because I’ve had three pregnancies and birthed three kids, or both, 3 a.m. has become my enemy. Apologies to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.DENIAL - This takes the form of, “I don’t REALLY have to go. I can make it a few more hours.” Then my 13-pound cat does a one-pawed handstand directly in the middle of my lower abdomen. This leads to the next stage...ANGER - Fucking cat. Get the hell off my belly. Damn it. I really DO hav … [Read more...]

Sweet Baby Jesus Frog

Rely on God! Don't forget the Gummy Bears!

So I took the youngest school supply shopping, and afterwards we went to Sweet Frog. My head was down, as I was thinking hard about whether I should put more chocolate sprinkles on my frozen yogurt. (Answer: Of COURSE I should...) I look up to see a sweet teenaged girl chirping at me from behind the counter, ready to ring up my order.I tried really hard not to stare at her torso.  Really hard. But I was trying to make sure her shirt said what I thought it said. It was a Sweet Frog shirt - … [Read more...]

My Afternoon as a Hobby Lobby Sidewalk Counselor

My Sidewalk Counseling Operation has doubled in size!!!

Back in June, I was inspired by a Supreme Court decision to take up Sidewalk "Counseling." Since SCOTUS declared the buffer zone around Massachusetts' health clinics unconstitutional, I decided it was time for me to provide those seeking treatments to which I object with counseling of my own. Here, in my post, "My Morning as a Viagra Sidewalk Counselor" I explain why this made perfect sense to me. Eleanor McCullen, lead plaintiff in that Supreme Court case, had been vindicated. Because she … [Read more...]


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