The Dream and Young Frankenstein

Leo's favorite scene. (photo from www.movieposter.com)

PLEASE NOTE: ALL OF MY CHILDREN ARE FINE. However, this post contains material that some people might be painful for people who are sensitive to the subject of losing a child. So, in other words, everyone. But some VERY UNDERSTANDABLY more than others. If absolutely no one reads this because of that, I completely understand and I will have no hurt feelings whatsoever, I swear. Scroll down further if you decide to read the … [Read more...]

Jesus Goes to the Dentist.

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Sometimes parents avoid their children's questions. There are myriad reasons for this phenomenon...fatigue, discomfort, lack of maturity on the part of the child, lack of maturity on the part of the parent, and on and on.My parents rarely, RARELY did this. Even my father answered questions about sex (which made me want to puke - and him, too, probably, but he did a good job covering it up if it did.) I'll never forget one of our trips in the car.  It was on a Friday night, if memory serves, … [Read more...]

Babysitting Training

Babies are cute.

My 10-year-old son loves babies and little children. He loves them so much he wants to babysit for them. I told him he would need to take a babysitter training course and become certified. A couple of days later, on the way to school, he said the following to me:Leo: When I think of babysitting training, I know it's about how to hold a baby and change a diaper and feed them and stuff, but I just get this picture in my head of a military-style training camp.  Like where you have to do things … [Read more...]

Say It With Me: “I Believe You.” (trigger warning – child molestation)

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I don't pretend to know what happened in the colossally fucked-up family dynamic into which Dylan Farrow had the misfortune of being born. I realize our legal system was originally set up to make it harder to convict someone than to acquit him or her. In practice, this allows for great travesties of justice unserved, but in theory, I believe that is still how it should be. All I have is my gut feeling - this is all ANYONE has, except for the perpetrator and the victim of a crime in which there … [Read more...]

Not Smarter Than a Fourth-Grader

This morning on the way to school, my fourth-grader and I had the following conversation.Him:  Did you know sloths move so slowly that sometimes they mistake their arm for a branch, reach for it, and then fall to their deaths?Me:  Sloths have arms?Him:  Yeah!  Of course they do.Me:  Sloths don't have arms.Him:  (disbelievingly) Yes, Mom!  They have REALLY LONG ARMS!Me:  No, they don't.Him:  Yes, they do!Me:  They do not.Him:  (patiently) Mom.  I'm talking about … [Read more...]

My Tattooed Teenager

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She'd been asking for years.  My firstborn, with the red hair and creamy skin, wanted a tattoo.  For years she's been asking.The child who, if she could, would paint her room a different color every other month.  The child who, if her parents could, would ask them to rearrange the furniture in her room every other week.  The child who, as a pre-teen, declared matter-of-factly, "I require constant change."  The undeniable implication was, "Is that so wrong?  Is that so difficult?  Why is nobod … [Read more...]

Banana Bread

So, you know how so many people post Facebook status updates the night before the first day of school?  "Lunches are packed!  Kids in bed!  Backpacks ready!  Forms filled out!  Relaxing with a glass of wine and hubby!" And it's only 8 p.m.?  Some dear friends of mine - and I hope they still are after reading this - but please indulge me in a rare public bitchy moment.I frikkin' HATE those status updates.  They shouldn't, but they make me feel like SUCH a loser mom - I rarely, if ever have my … [Read more...]

The Plan B Pill: If It Were MY Daughter…

...I'd want Plan B to be available over the counter.I say this realizing there are great moral complexities involved here.  I've thought about it a lot regarding under-age girls seeking abortion.  When it comes to abortion, I ask myself, "Would I want to be notified if it were my daughter?  Would I want the doctor to insist on my consent if it were my daughter?  My husband's consent?  If my daughter was 15?  What about if my daughter was 13? 12?"  Of course the answer to all of these questions … [Read more...]

Happy Mother’s Day!

Here's why I love this comic strip very much.One might read this and think its creators are saying, "Damn teenagers.  They have no vocabulary.  They never talk to us.  They never TELL us anything."I see something completely different in this comic strip.1.  Teenagers are moody.2.  Teenagers have trouble figuring out what's bothering them.3.  Even if they know what's bothering them, they have trouble articulating it.4.  Parents should keep their questions simple.  Like, "Trouble?"5. … [Read more...]

The Original “Take Your Daughter To Work Day.”

I'm at The Broad Side again today - this time recalling the real, original "Take Your Daughter to Work Day".  In my life, anyhow...Please click over, enjoy and share!  :)xoxo,Aliza … [Read more...]


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