Penny’s Upcoming Surgery, or, Believe it or not, I’m Grateful

February 9, 2012 By Amy Julia Becker 13 Comments

Penny in the hospital as a baby

Penny will have surgery on her eyes and ears next week, on February 17th. She’s had a few minor surgeries before–tubes in her ears twice, a heart procedure when she was 14 months old, stints placed in her tear ducts to help them open up. But this will be the first time that she’s aware of what’s happening ahead of time. “I don’t want surgery, Mom,” she tells me, often. It’s also the first time I’ve been told to expect a difficult recovery. In the past, as soon as she overcame the effects of the anesthesia, she was all set. This time, the doctors need to correct her left eye, which is crossing, and to do so they will cut a muscle in both eyes. She’ll be sore at best (and in a fair amount of pain at worse). And she’ll be home for 5-7 days.

In addition to the eye surgery, she’s having tubes put into both ears. This is round three of tubes for her, and it was brought on by the recent discovery that she can’t hear. A few weeks back, I was despondent about the tough time Penny was having at school and at home. She just wasn’t listening to anything I said. That night, I called to her from a few feet away when she happened to be looking at Peter. She didn’t turn her head. I tried again. No response. I then shouted her name and she immediately looked at me. My eyes met Peter, and my heart started racing. She wasn’t listening because she couldn’t hear me.

We drove to Philadelphia a few days later to see the ENT. Fluid in both ears. The audiologist confirmed that Penny has a moderate (which is to say, pretty significant–she can hardly hear conversational speech) hearing loss in both ears. I think she’s become quite adept at lip-reading. Tubes should help, because they will drain the fluid, but we still might be looking at hearing aids after that. The funny part of it is my response. Years ago, I think I would have been really sad about it all, and particularly sad at the stigma of Penny being “different” or the thought that she’d look funny or the inconvenience of dealing with hearing aids. Now I’m pretty overwhelmed with gratitude.

I’m not looking forward to next Friday. I hate the thought of Penny’s pain and fear. But I now count it as a blessing, and not a burden, that we live in a time when a little girl can be helped with relatively minimal effort and be able to hear and learn and do all the stuff that other little girls do. She’ll be back in school a week later, making friends, learning to read, and loving her life. Yes. I’m grateful.

Filed Under: Down Syndrome, Faith, family Tagged With: 13 Comments
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=689589930 Melinda K. Busch

    I am praying for Penny, and for you as well, Amy Julia, as the surgery approaches! It can be so hard at Penny’s age to understand that something that hurts can be a good thing, and also so hard for us as parents to willingly put our kids through something painful even when we know the benefits.

  • MeanLizzie

    Thank you for this piece. I have added you all to my prayer list.

  • Mary Frances Giles

    Take it from a speech pathologist… audiologists are awesome! Can’t wait to hear how she’s doing in a few weeks and will say a prayer for her (and you!).

  • Jaymcgee Kw

    Glad you shared, Amy Julia. We will think and pray for Penny often as the 17th approaches.

  • Ann – www.talkingflies.com

    Praying.

  • http://www.facebook.com/muldoont Tim Muldoon

    Prayers heading your way from Boston!

  • http://profiles.google.com/helenleemail Helen Lee

    Thank you for sharing, and absolutely my thoughts and prayers will be with you all as Penny’s surgery approaches. And I appreciate your heart of gratitude and all that it signifies.

  • mindy

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but I don’t know that I’ve ever commented. Thank you for sharing your faith and your gift of writing. The way you talk about your sweet Penny is such a blessing to me and your grateful spirit as you await her surgery and recovery is an inspiration. Praying for you, Penny and the rest of your family the next couple of weeks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/deusami Patricia Crews Tice

    If it helps, you can tell Penny that her friend Katie in Florida is now brave enough to do blood draws on her own without any help. (I know it probably won’t, but it’s worth a try).

    It’s so hard when you know it’s the right thing to do but you know it will be painful. Of course, I’ll be praying too, but it will be over before you both know it.

  • Jennifer

    Are you in Madison?, if so, I would love to have a surgery preparation play therapy session with you and Penny before the surgery…or you should contact the Child Life Specialist for a pre-admission program and some age- appropriate surgical prep before the 17th @ the hospital. This would consist of a tour of the unit she will wake up on, seeing the bed and room, playing and understanding what will be different on her body when she wakes up (IV, bandages, eye patch?) …this is usually done on a doll or teddy bear.

    • http://www.patheos.com/community/thinplaces/ Amy Julia Becker

      We are back in NJ, so the surgery will be at CHOP. This is a really helpful suggestion, however, so I will be in touch with them this week to see what we can arrange.

      Thank you!

  • Jonathan Fredman

    Wishing you all the best and sending prayers your way. Penny is lucky to have a mother like you.

  • Allie

    Sending prayers and healing thoughts your way