Grief part 27

Here's the thing that a lot of people do not get about losing people you love. Who you love has nothing to do with who someone else loves. For instance, you may think that losing an aunt is no big deal because you aunts are all crazy and you haven't talked to any of them in 13 years. I get that. I have 8 aunts that are my mother's sisters who I have not talked to in a decade and who are all insane. I have one uncle that I haven't seen in maybe twenty years. But my Tio Roy was like a father to … [Read more...]

Book Review: Lent with Saint Teresa of Calcutta

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone! Every year I get a stack of books ready for Lent. Mostly I get books that will help me to remember that it is Lent and that the point of Lent is to shut out the outside world as much as possible to nourish my relationship with God. For me, God is mostly silent the whole time and my life goes up in flames. My life is crazy anyway so I am kind of used to it but Lent really brings out the extra special crazy. For example, for the last four years we get lice on the Monday … [Read more...]

Two days ago I had a really bad day. Every single wound I have ever had in my life surfaced on some level in a matter of ┬áhours. My sexual abuse as a child, worry for my child, the relationship with my mother, the grief of my Tio and Tia, drama on social media and the news that someone I care about is ill, all collided and I was emotionally overloaded. I sat in my car crying and wondering when all this was going to end. When Lord?I was also very hungry so my husband took me out to dinner at … [Read more...]

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/throughbrokenroses/2017/02/24/1987/

Rejecting God

It's no secret to anyone who has been reading my blog these past ten months that my uncle's death has sent me into a crisis of faith. I am not really sure if "crisis" is the right word because it isn't like I am struggling to believe in God, His Goodness or that everything that happens in my life will help save me, even the suffering because God has to power to do that. I know all of these things. So what is my problem? I am not sure but I had a little bit of an aha moment about what my "crisis" … [Read more...]

Thank you Bishop Joe Vasquez

I was a brand new Catholic when Bishop Joe Vasquez was appointed to my Diocese. I didn't know anything about him. Was he going to be a good shepherd? Would he be able to stand against the issues facing our community with love and compassion but without fear of speaking the truth? I didn't know. But someone I trust did know. My RCIA director, Noe, knew Bishop Joe Vasquez from his days as a parish priest in San Angelo. Having Noe Rocha's approval meant a lot to me because I know for a fact that … [Read more...]

The Election, Failure and Where to Go From Here

It has been a crazy 48 hours since the election results came in and Donald Trump was announced as our president-elect. I did not see this coming. I voted for Hillary Clinton, not because I wanted her to win but because I was sure she was better for the job and was going to win anyway. I considered it the best way to stand against what Trump stood for. I was prepared to fight against what she would come with. I was not prepared for him to win.Since then I have failed. I have failed as a … [Read more...]

I am Pro-Life, I voted for Hillary

My original plan for today was to drink and wait for Jesus. I was not going to vote. That quickly became my life plan and my election day plan was to go to adoration and wait for God to send me an angel if He wanted me to vote for either of these two crazy people and if He didn't then I was going to write in a third party guy. After that I was going to go buy a bottle and start drinking. I wasn't wrestling with that decision but I wasn't happy about it. This is America, we celebrate the right to … [Read more...]

The Dark Night of Life

I know that everyone is ready to lay around in despair over the election results tomorrow, so I should try to write something upbeat and positive. Unfortunately, that just isn't how my life works. Upbeat and positive are two things that my life rarely is. I was abandoned by my father before I was born so I was raised by a single mother who worked all the time, I was sexually abused as a small child and I am an only child so I spent most of my childhood alone. I wasn't exactly set up for a life … [Read more...]

Did I Die? Let Me Count The Ways

By now most of you must have heard the leaked tape where Donald Trump explains to Billy Bush that he often kisses women without permission and grabs them by their genitals as they both die with laughter at how funny that is.I was pretty upset about that tape, but not because I am a prude or even that I am shocked that men talk like that. When Billy Bush says "will you give him a hug" while holding back giggles, I remembered all the times that I was the girl who was the butt of jokes between … [Read more...]

How I found Myself

 Last night I wrote this post about losing myself. I went to bed thinking about it and thanking God that it seems like everything is peaceful. Then I woke up and realized that this isn't always how it will be. There will be more problems, more kids leaving and growing and changing. Aaliyah will grow up and won't remind me of the most innocent version of myself. She will be her own person with her own opinions, flaws and heartaches. Something will happen, she will be heartbroken and she … [Read more...]