Waiting

A few weeks ago I went deer hunting for the first time in my entire life. I grew up in the country, in a town that is full of city folk visiting deer leases every fall to try and shoot themselves a trophy buck to mount on their wall. I hated it when I was a kid thanks to the movie Bambi. I also hated it because one year I ran out the front door of my uncle's house to see three deer hung upside down with their insides hanging out. I yelled at everyone that they killed Santa's reindeer! That is … [Read more...]

The Election, Failure and Where to Go From Here

It has been a crazy 48 hours since the election results came in and Donald Trump was announced as our president-elect. I did not see this coming. I voted for Hillary Clinton, not because I wanted her to win but because I was sure she was better for the job and was going to win anyway. I considered it the best way to stand against what Trump stood for. I was prepared to fight against what she would come with. I was not prepared for him to win.Since then I have failed. I have failed as a … [Read more...]

Did I Die? Let Me Count The Ways

By now most of you must have heard the leaked tape where Donald Trump explains to Billy Bush that he often kisses women without permission and grabs them by their genitals as they both die with laughter at how funny that is.I was pretty upset about that tape, but not because I am a prude or even that I am shocked that men talk like that. When Billy Bush says "will you give him a hug" while holding back giggles, I remembered all the times that I was the girl who was the butt of jokes between … [Read more...]

Being Joyful Through The Pain, Remembering that I am Loved

I have been feeling pretty low lately. I don't feel loved or appreciated by my family, there's a real break in the relationship with my older son, my husband and I aren't in the best place and my mom and I are not really talking. Things with my mom are complicated to say the least and I have come to realize that I can only balance so much and currently she isn't someone that I can deal with. I'm guessing that is how my son feels which is why I'm giving him his space, but it doesn't change the … [Read more...]

So I lied to Ya’ll

Awhile back I wrote a blog post saying that I have no parenting advice. Well, I lied. I know that new parents and parents with small kids are like 20 year olds & engaged couples who think they know everything and don't need unsolicited advice but after my week training with seven 19-23 year olds, I'm gonna dish some out anyway.Let your kids fail. Stop setting such high standards for them and expecting them to never fail at things. Let them figure things out for themselves and fail. And … [Read more...]

Death Does Not Win

Three months ago I sat by the bedside in a hospice and witnessed the most terrifying thing of my entire life as I watched my Tio Roy take his last breaths. His death scared me and the sounds, smells and loss of life haunts me. But even in the middle of all that I saw beauty, holiness, God's Faithfulness, the beginning of a new life and so much joyful love. I learned why I'm Catholic. It's not to impress anyone, it is to die with dignity and love for God like my Tio did. It is to leave behind … [Read more...]

What About My Words

As I watched the memorial for the five fallen officers in Dallas yesterday, I was convicted by words from both President George W. Bush and President Obama. Each one had some great things to say as leaders of our country.President Bush said "too often we judge other groups by their worst examples, but judge ourselves by our best intentions" That really got me to think about my own words when discussing the issue of race, police shootings of black males and pretty much any other hot button … [Read more...]

Will We Let Fear Win

“I plead with you--never, ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.” ~ St. Pope John Paul IIYesterday I wrote a piece for Aleteia about the shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile being a pro-life matter. I explained my personal experience of fear when getting pulled over by police officers as a Hispanic woman. I wrote it hoping that people would read my words and not add all the other words and rhetoric of the day to it. I was … [Read more...]

Happiness in a Depressing World

I kept reading people's opinions about the Stanford rape case to the point of having my nightmares come back. I have been in therapy for about three years now and haven't had many nightmares about what happened to me as a child and later in life for a very long time. Something about hearing people talk about what it's like to be a victim of sexual assault/abuse just brought those nightmares back.I laid in bed one night with tears streaming down my face and asked everyone on my friends list … [Read more...]

Hotel CaliFacebook

You can log in, but you can never leave. That is exactly how I feel about Facebook. My entire life for the last 9 years has been slowly integrated to need to log in to Facebook to know what is going on in the world around me. There was a good solid 3 years that I never logged out at all. Ever.Before I go on this long rant, let me state that there are great things that Facebook has to offer. I have met great friends on Facebook, some who I still have never met in real life but some that I … [Read more...]