The first Mass when I realized there was something special about Communion was at my Tio Roy's parish in Three Rivers, Texas. I was the maid of honor for my cousins's wedding at the age of fourteen. I had no interest in Catholicism since I considered myself still Baptist at the time. In fact, I was pretty anti-Catholic, but for the first time in my life I looked at my cousin and her new husband receiving Communion and wondered why I was not allowed to receive. I also wondered what was so special … [Read more...]
February 24, 2017 by
Two days ago I had a really bad day. Every single wound I have ever had in my life surfaced on some level in a matter of hours. My sexual abuse as a child, worry for my child, the relationship with my mother, the grief of my Tio and Tia, drama on social media and the news that someone I care about is ill, all collided and I was emotionally overloaded. I sat in my car crying and wondering when all this was going to end. When Lord?I was also very hungry so my husband took me out to dinner at … [Read more...]
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/throughbrokenroses/2017/02/24/1987/
The Election, Failure and Where to Go From Here
November 10, 2016 by
It has been a crazy 48 hours since the election results came in and Donald Trump was announced as our president-elect. I did not see this coming. I voted for Hillary Clinton, not because I wanted her to win but because I was sure she was better for the job and was going to win anyway. I considered it the best way to stand against what Trump stood for. I was prepared to fight against what she would come with. I was not prepared for him to win.Since then I have failed. I have failed as a … [Read more...]
I am Pro-Life, I voted for Hillary
November 8, 2016 by
My original plan for today was to drink and wait for Jesus. I was not going to vote. That quickly became my life plan and my election day plan was to go to adoration and wait for God to send me an angel if He wanted me to vote for either of these two crazy people and if He didn't then I was going to write in a third party guy. After that I was going to go buy a bottle and start drinking. I wasn't wrestling with that decision but I wasn't happy about it. This is America, we celebrate the right to … [Read more...]
How I found Myself
September 21, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Last night I wrote this post about losing myself. I went to bed thinking about it and thanking God that it seems like everything is peaceful. Then I woke up and realized that this isn't always how it will be. There will be more problems, more kids leaving and growing and changing. Aaliyah will grow up and won't remind me of the most innocent version of myself. She will be her own person with her own opinions, flaws and heartaches. Something will happen, she will be heartbroken and she … [Read more...]
What do I know? What is Real?
September 20, 2016 by Leave a Comment
I have an amazing therapist. In the three and a half years that I have been seeing her, she has helped to recognize when my scared little girl self is trying to convince me that nobody loves because I am unworthy of being loved and tell her to go take a nap.When I first started seeing her it was because my husband and I were on the verge of divorce. Actually it was worse than divorce, it was war. We were in a cycle of revenge and getting back at each other while both trying to get … [Read more...]
When God Dedicates Songs to You
September 19, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Today I was sitting in the car with my two youngest sons and this song came on the radio that we all love, it’s one of our favorite songs as a family, and I thought about when I first heard that song and how exactly it became an anthem in the lives of my kids.My youngest child was born in 2001 when I worked at Hooters. I spent the first month of her life going from the NICU to my mom’s house to care for my other three children because she was a preemie. I was really tired and driving only a f … [Read more...]
Catholic Writing, Brands and Authenticity
August 25, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Waiting tables is a story of how different things are "behind the scenes" verses what the world sees. The world saw working at Hooters as either a fight for women's liberation or proof of how men objectify women. I saw it as a way to take care of my kids and keep a roof over our head. The behind the scenes of most restaurants looks a lot different than what the public sees. How servers act in front of tables is totally different than how they really are. A waiter can smile and nod to a table and … [Read more...]
One of the Stages of Grief: Anger
August 9, 2016 by Leave a Comment
I am over at Aleteia talking about grief and how I used to try and say all the "right things" to others who were mourning the loss of something they loved.Grief is a very difficult thing to deal with because it is so personal that it's different for each of us, even if we lost the same person. We are each different, how we handle our emotions is different and who that person was to us is different.My uncle was my Tio Roy to me. He was mean, made fun of me, scared the shit out of me but … [Read more...]
Being Joyful Through The Pain, Remembering that I am Loved
August 5, 2016 by Leave a Comment
I have been feeling pretty low lately. I don't feel loved or appreciated by my family, there's a real break in the relationship with my older son, my husband and I aren't in the best place and my mom and I are not really talking. Things with my mom are complicated to say the least and I have come to realize that I can only balance so much and currently she isn't someone that I can deal with. I'm guessing that is how my son feels which is why I'm giving him his space, but it doesn't change the … [Read more...]
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