Rejecting God

It's no secret to anyone who has been reading my blog these past ten months that my uncle's death has sent me into a crisis of faith. I am not really sure if "crisis" is the right word because it isn't like I am struggling to believe in God, His Goodness or that everything that happens in my life will help save me, even the suffering because God has to power to do that. I know all of these things. So what is my problem? I am not sure but I had a little bit of an aha moment about what my "crisis" … [Read more...]

Catholic Writing, Brands and Authenticity

Waiting tables is a story of how different things are "behind the scenes" verses what the world sees. The world saw working at Hooters as either a fight for women's liberation or proof of how men objectify women. I saw it as a way to take care of my kids and keep a roof over our head. The behind the scenes of most restaurants looks a lot different than what the public sees. How servers act in front of tables is totally different than how they really are. A waiter can smile and nod to a table and … [Read more...]

In the Wake of The World’s Tragedies

  I have been working almost every day for the last few weeks. My┬ádays off are full of a million things to do, so I haven't really been able to keep up with all the internet happenings. News goes really fast in the online world. A week is like a year and news blows up, everyone discusses it, we decide what we are pissed about and then lament about it for days. Then we are off to the next thing. I don't know if this is exclusive to Catholic online life or if it goes for … [Read more...]

Being Joyful Through The Pain, Remembering that I am Loved

I have been feeling pretty low lately. I don't feel loved or appreciated by my family, there's a real break in the relationship with my older son, my husband and I aren't in the best place and my mom and I are not really talking. Things with my mom are complicated to say the least and I have come to realize that I can only balance so much and currently she isn't someone that I can deal with. I'm guessing that is how my son feels which is why I'm giving him his space, but it doesn't change the … [Read more...]

Loving Your Spouse in the Desert

A few weeks ago I was cleaning the bookshelf in my living room and I found this picture of me and my husband on the night of New Year's Eve 2010. I hardly recognized the two people in that picture and the happiness that exuded out of our smiles. We were so happy. I don't even think that happy is the right word to describe us that night. New Year's Eve is my favorite holiday, we were new Catholics, newlyweds and we were having the time of our lives at our Parish New Year's Eve dance. The dance … [Read more...]

Hotel CaliFacebook

You can log in, but you can never leave. That is exactly how I feel about Facebook. My entire life for the last 9 years has been slowly integrated to need to log in to Facebook to know what is going on in the world around me. There was a good solid 3 years that I never logged out at all. Ever.Before I go on this long rant, let me state that there are great things that Facebook has to offer. I have met great friends on Facebook, some who I still have never met in real life but some that I … [Read more...]

Friendships: the Casualty of Crisis

Here are just a few of the issues that I have been dealing with in the last few years:The death of my best friend A boyfriend in Iraq and then Afghanistan Wartime PTSD Child Trauma related PTSD The death of my boyfriend's mother A DWI Converting to Catholicism A wedding The death of my husband's father and grandmother The death of my husband's best friend The fallout from grief and PTSD Mental illnesses (those of others as well as mine) People's … [Read more...]

What I’ve Learned about Parenting

I have been a mother since I was 16 years old. I have given birth to four kids, miscarried one child and been the step-mother to three. I now have two grandchildren and I'm almost 40 years old. This is what I have learned about mothering/parenting children: I have no effing clue what I'm doing.There are a lot of factors that made me think I was a horrible mother. I did a lot of things that weren't things responsible parents do, like marry a man I only knew for two weeks and have kids with … [Read more...]

Marriages that Can Move Mountains

I just got finished watching Beyonce's visual album Lemonade and I'm blown away. First of all, let me just say that if my husband ever cheated on me, I am not going to change musical history unless it's from a prison cell, so the fact that a woman could make such a beautiful work of art, with the support of her husband, after healing from such betrayal is just simply amazing.I have seen people say that the visual album is vulgar and doesn't pass their "purity test". These are the kinds of … [Read more...]

Fear, Discussion and Reality

Yesterday I wrote a post about the bathroom hoopla. It was shared by my fellow Patheos writers Melinda and Rebecca on Facebook and both of those shares created really great discussions. Other threads weren't so fruitful and I looked at my combox briefly and ran away. I just buried my uncle, I am not ready for the online flame wars.On Patheos there are a lot of differing kinds of Catholics who are all obedient to the teachings of the Catholic Church but have their own personal experience and … [Read more...]