The Tomb of Grief

Last week I wrote about what happened the day that my son Anthony died by committing suicide, it had been five very fast but extremely heavy weeks. Today it’s six weeks and a day after the one year anniversary of my uncle’s death. To sum up how this last year has been let me tell you a story: the neighbor told me yesterday that the cat my dead uncle gave to my now dead kid was found dead months ago by the mailboxes. That is a lot of death in one sentence, if it’s hard to read, just try living in … [Read more...]

Two days ago I had a really bad day. Every single wound I have ever had in my life surfaced on some level in a matter of  hours. My sexual abuse as a child, worry for my child, the relationship with my mother, the grief of my Tio and Tia, drama on social media and the news that someone I care about is ill, all collided and I was emotionally overloaded. I sat in my car crying and wondering when all this was going to end. When Lord?I was also very hungry so my husband took me out to dinner at … [Read more...]

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/throughbrokenroses/2017/02/24/1987/

In the Wake of The World’s Tragedies

  I have been working almost every day for the last few weeks. My days off are full of a million things to do, so I haven't really been able to keep up with all the internet happenings. News goes really fast in the online world. A week is like a year and news blows up, everyone discusses it, we decide what we are pissed about and then lament about it for days. Then we are off to the next thing. I don't know if this is exclusive to Catholic online life or if it goes for … [Read more...]

Being Joyful Through The Pain, Remembering that I am Loved

I have been feeling pretty low lately. I don't feel loved or appreciated by my family, there's a real break in the relationship with my older son, my husband and I aren't in the best place and my mom and I are not really talking. Things with my mom are complicated to say the least and I have come to realize that I can only balance so much and currently she isn't someone that I can deal with. I'm guessing that is how my son feels which is why I'm giving him his space, but it doesn't change the … [Read more...]

Death Does Not Win

Three months ago I sat by the bedside in a hospice and witnessed the most terrifying thing of my entire life as I watched my Tio Roy take his last breaths. His death scared me and the sounds, smells and loss of life haunts me. But even in the middle of all that I saw beauty, holiness, God's Faithfulness, the beginning of a new life and so much joyful love. I learned why I'm Catholic. It's not to impress anyone, it is to die with dignity and love for God like my Tio did. It is to leave behind … [Read more...]

Through the Clouds

On Sunday I wrote a blog post abut how I didn't see how God is ever on my side and today He reminded me of all the ways that He has been on my side my entire life, even when I was refusing to give one crap about His rules and regulations. How He gave me the Grace to survive the worst things that can happen to a person and how He gave me great people in my life to help me when I was tired of fighting him. One of those reminders came in hugging Noe, who showed me what loving Jesus looks like by … [Read more...]

The Root of It All

When I was younger I went to a Baptist Church. I really did come to know the truth about God and salvation there, but I never felt like I fit in or like I was doing the Christian thing right. I was 11 years old quoting Scripture like a street evangelist. I would carry my bible around with me telling people about the fires of hell waiting for those who didn't give their lives to Jesus. Other kids were collecting baseball cards and I was collecting chick tracts.I am not sure what triggered it, … [Read more...]

Waiting for Redemption

Grief is such a bitch. That’s the only way that I can describe it. In therapy last week I emotionally vomited on my therapist about my uncle’s death. I also talked to Jennifer Fulwiler about it on her show. The two talks were a bit different and frankly, ya’ll all should thank my therapist because if it wasn’t for her, my therapy session would have been what you heard on Jen’s show. That would not have been pretty.My faith tells me that my Tio is in the hands of God which means that he is in … [Read more...]

Marriages that Can Move Mountains

I just got finished watching Beyonce's visual album Lemonade and I'm blown away. First of all, let me just say that if my husband ever cheated on me, I am not going to change musical history unless it's from a prison cell, so the fact that a woman could make such a beautiful work of art, with the support of her husband, after healing from such betrayal is just simply amazing.I have seen people say that the visual album is vulgar and doesn't pass their "purity test". These are the kinds of … [Read more...]

Today’s Reason for Not Reading Amoris Laetitia

So you know how the Pope released a document about how to love each other in a family and stuff? Well, you know how I've been trying to read it since the minute that it was published? I still haven't.My uncle is in ICU so I was with him for a few days, then when I got back my oldest son went to go see him so I watched his kids while he went. I have no clue how you ladies with small kids get anything done because all I could do was keep them alive, fed and entertained. I never really stayed … [Read more...]