The Death of My Son

 Five weeks ago at this time I was laying in my bed as my oldest son came into my room without knocking. He sat down in the chair across from me. Right now I’m sitting in my bed and looking at that empty chair as I write this. He sat down and began to talk to me about marrying his girlfriend in the Church. He asked me if he could move back into our house while they went through marriage prep. I told him he could. We talked about expectations, goals, life and the day he was baptized. … [Read more...]

Love 

I have such an issue with people misusing the word love. Love requires sacrifice, love changes you, love is as ordered as the moon and the sun and the waves of the ocean, love has a purpose and it's not to make you feel warm and fuzzy all the time, love is real and objective, love is not fluffy bullshit people put on pretty backgrounds to share on Facebook. Love is Jesus hanging on a Cross bleeding with his face disfigured and naked. Love is not doing what "makes you happy", love is the cross … [Read more...]

Hotel CaliFacebook

You can log in, but you can never leave. That is exactly how I feel about Facebook. My entire life for the last 9 years has been slowly integrated to need to log in to Facebook to know what is going on in the world around me. There was a good solid 3 years that I never logged out at all. Ever.Before I go on this long rant, let me state that there are great things that Facebook has to offer. I have met great friends on Facebook, some who I still have never met in real life but some that I … [Read more...]

Hope for Salvation

My oldest son and my Tio Roy were very close. He took Anthony for his first big fishing trip. They had a blast. Anthony spent countless summers with Tio where he learned about life, generosity and how to be a man. Not to mention he learned how to BBQ, which was my Tio’s favorite lesson to teach anyone.My kid is not handling his death very well. I thought that I was at peace with my Tio being in the hands of God (in many ways, I am), but there are moments when I wonder if that’s just a way … [Read more...]

Surviving

The first time I actually realized I had an anger issue was about a year ago while attending a retreat.  A deacon (now priest) prayed over me and told me that he sensed that I was holding on to grudges. I went straight to confession after that revelation because it made sense. I am an angry person and have acted out of anger in ways that hurt the people around me. Not to mention that I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business! I sat face to face with this little Irish priest and confessed that I … [Read more...]

The Only Way the World is Going to Believe that Jesus is Real, is If We Live our Lives Like He is Real

Since my conversion there are a few things that perpetually irk the crap out of me. One of them is people who didn’t know me in my past life assuming that I’ve been a good Catholic girl all my life who was sheltered from the real world. You know, where all the “fun” is.  That bothers me because it’s pretty ironic coming from the “don’t judge me” club. It’s funny how offended they are that I have the nerve to say that they may be doing something that is immoral and therefore, I am judging them, wh … [Read more...]

What Would Jesus Do?

I have been thinking a lot about this idea that Jesus does not judge others and I’ve gotten pretty angry about this idea that Jesus is somehow some pansy who isn’t going to judge our actions. There are countless verses in the New Testament that say otherwise. Where does this idea come from and why do so many people think that Jesus is ok with people not following His Father’s commandments? Well, because life is just easier that way. It’s much easier to give up on being holy and just convince ours … [Read more...]

God is Good to Me, even When I'm a Whiney Cry Baby

It is no secret that I am a little nuts. I am very passionate and emotional all at the same time. If I love you, you will never find a better friend. But if I don’t, or if you betray me you will never find me again. My husband says that with me “It all comes out of the same faucet”. That is true (If you are from Texas and you even get what the means) Which makes being Catholic for me very hard.I have often heard “Being Catholic is too hard for me” from a lot of people. I used to be one of the … [Read more...]

My Husband; My Hero

It’s hard for some people to understand how someone could go through all the things that I have been through and still believe in a loving God. I had a hard time believing it for most of my life. I always thought that everything I went through was proof that God had favorites, and I was not one of them.2 years ago when I began going through RCIA to get my Sacraments that all changed. I realized that I had been thinking of God all wrong. God is not some old guy with a long beard sitting p … [Read more...]

You are Loved

So far I have written about some of the hard parts of my life. There are plenty more of those stories to go around, but on the 3rd day of Christmas I will tell you about some of the wonderful people in my life. They are in all of the memories that when I look back I see that God was with me all along.When I was a little girl and I really felt like I had no dad, the one thing I failed to see was how much my uncle loved me. He was always there for me, he still is. He makes me laugh and he is … [Read more...]