Death Does Not Win

Three months ago I sat by the bedside in a hospice and witnessed the most terrifying thing of my entire life as I watched my Tio Roy take his last breaths. His death scared me and the sounds, smells and loss of life haunts me. But even in the middle of all that I saw beauty, holiness, God's Faithfulness, the beginning of a new life and so much joyful love. I learned why I'm Catholic. It's not to impress anyone, it is to die with dignity and love for God like my Tio did. It is to leave behind … [Read more...]

Clavius, Patron of the Skeptical

 At the heart of Risen is a conversion story. There are a lot of conversion stories in the New Testament that I can identify with but Clavius is really my spirit animal apparently. I love his story. He was in charge of making sure that the body of Christ was guarded from being stolen and then when that didn’t work out well, he was put in charge of finding out what happened.In a lot of ways, Clavius was more doubtful than Thomas when it comes to the fact that Jesus rose from the d … [Read more...]

Divine Mercy Indeed

Right now in this moment, life is perfect. I had this aha moment sometime during Lent about living in my life.I think that I have been living my life in the past, mulling over all my mistakes and regrets as I wished to go back in time to be 17, 19, 21 or 30 again. I wanted to be skinny again, have the same style again and/or go back out to clubs again. Changes in life have been hard on me. I never really learned how to mother my children from a place of being mentally healthy. I also didn't … [Read more...]

RISEN: A Movie about Searching for the Risen Christ

The central point of Christianity is the Resurrection of Jesus after His death on the Cross. Everything else is either before or after of the story, but in the center is the fact that Jesus conquered sin and death to open the doors to Heaven for those of us who choose, by our own free will, to follow Him. There comes a point in every Christian's life where we ask ourselves if we really believe that He rose. I remember exactly where I was the moment that I asked myself the question seriously. … [Read more...]

Walking Among Saints in the Making

Last night I went to Adoration at my parish for the first time in months. I really don’t understand why I am not there every single day because I absolutely love being in Adoration.Usually when I got to Adoration I have a litany of problems that I feel the need to tell Jesus about. I also tell Him exactly how I need them all handled, because I have all the answers and if God would just listen to me, things would go so much smoother. Lies. I don’t know anything. Last night as I sat there loo … [Read more...]

Love in a Manger

I have a really huge issue with being a mom and step-mom. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m a selfish person or if I’m a selfish person because I grew up an only child with no concept of living with groups of people and resolving conflict with them but I have an extremely hard time living in a house with a big family.I have a lot of cousins who I lived with and around when I was a teenager and I have a lot of great memories with them but in the end I had to go be by myself in my room with … [Read more...]

About that Christmas Spirit

I think that I don't have it. I have never really cared much about Christmas the way that most people did. I worked. Waiting tables meant that Christmas time came with a lot of doubles to make the bills AND Christmas presents. So that was my life for a really long time: work. I worked and bought my kids presents and watched them open them and then went back to work. Working at a bar meant that I had no holidays. Shopping for the kids was done after I got done with a 12 hours shift or before one … [Read more...]

Saint West and the Year of Mercy

"To pass through the Holy Door means to rediscover the infinite mercy of the Father who welcomes everyone and goes out personally to encounter each of them. It is he who seeks us! It is he who comes to encounter us! " ~ Pope Francis' Homily at the opening of the Year of MercyI don't know for sure what is going on with Kim and Kanye West, but I do know one thing for sure: God, who seeks each one of us out to personally encounter us, wants to personally encounter them both as well. It seems to … [Read more...]

Be Not Afraid

As a child, I was sexually abused and bullied at school, both of which were the root of fear in my life.I have gone to therapy for the last couple of years and worked out some of those fears. They had multiplied throughout my life into fears of not being a good mom, a good Catholic, of the fact that my children aren't all practicing the Faith, fear of being fat, of being too much of a hot mess to be able to evangelize anyone, of cussing, and so many other things. The bottom line, I have … [Read more...]

Why I Stay Catholic

There are so many times when I ask myself why the heck I am Catholic. Days like today when I have been told that I “should” do this or that, that I’m ignorant at best when it comes to the issue of transgenderism and the nice email from the lady saying that I am the worst Catholic she has ever encountered online. Why am I here? Why am I blogging? Why am I putting myself in the crossfire when so many people don’t hear what I am saying but take the one thing they have an issue with it and turn it in … [Read more...]