The Gist: Bella Swan marries her glittery vampire boyfriend, but their unbelievable honeymoon is cut short by trouble. As always, werewolf Jacob Black, vampire Edward Cullen, and the lovely Bella emote, grow angry at each other, stalk out, reunite, emote some more and have huge problems that require lots of emoting. Oh, and Jacob takes off his shirt.
The Verdict: Skip it. Run far away. For more on my reactions and why Bella would be better off dumping both Edward and Jacob to go to law school, read my full review.
Be Aware: Rated PG-13, the film covers married honeymoon sex, which is shown but not shown, and a bloody medical situation, which happens mostly off camera but is rather intense. Plus, Jacob takes off his shirt a lot.