“[They are] a person, they do have feelings. Would you honestly say that to their face? Really. Would you ever say that to their face?” Because some times we forget. – Jennifer Ouellette, interview conducted for the Token Skeptic Podcast, Episode Eighty-Eight – On Codes Of Conduct Part II – Sexism, Skepticism And Civility Online.
Not blogging. I’m sick of wah wah.
Today, I checked out Facebook for an hour or so, after making an effort to cut down my time online. I’ve spent about two weeks focusing on writing an entire year’s worth of assessment pieces and essentially sort out my files for 2012. I have two jobs to write in for. There’s conferences I’m focusing on. I’ve used Twitter as an occasional treat and focused on researching and writing. I’ve still got so much more to do. I can’t afford to do anything else with my time.
I’m failing to keep up with emails and marginally succeeding with the goal of reducing my stress levels. But I’ve had podcast interview cancellations at 2am in the morning, editing at all hours of the day that I can spare and I really miss thinking about some things. I also miss feeling as if my mind is an empty egg-timer with all the salt gone. I’ll get back on my regular exercise schedule very soon.
Matters haven’t been helped by looking at current events that my friends are writing about. I turn off the computer after changing my FB password, so I won’t go on for a while. It’s worked before.
Headache. Need food. Do you remember food? Food is good. I should do more of the food thing.
Today, I looked over messages from about five friends, where we brainstormed a podcast episode on an issue that greatly interests us: the difference between skepticism and atheism. How people do the wrong things, all the time – how human beings are flawed and how acting like jerks and behaving like jerks in response doesn’t really help anyone. How nobody is perfect. How we can at least try to improve. All the wah wah.
After a discussion, we conclude that we just don’t want to do this podcast interview. Who has the time? The energy? Who can really afford ‘making themselves a target’ the same way I’ve been a target and they’ve been a target? We choose our battles. We choose wisely. We hope.
Today I deleted yet another nasty blog comment and sadly reviewed a message I sent to someone who I thought was a friend. I’m miserable about it. I’m miserable about the situation, and it’s nearly a year. Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.
I mention to my friends how many bad memories and ongoing conflicts have hindered open and productive discussion for years. Being friends, helping each other when we lose friends, how we value each others’ opinions and even just knowing that we’re a small, small minority who care about each other helps us get through moments like this.
Then I remember my last Sunday post, where I lamented how some things just won’t change, because it takes more than one person’s decision to change to make it happen. More bloody wah-wah.
I don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy. I can’t handle throwing myself under the bus again and again and wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
It’s not that we don’t care. It’s just that someone else has to figure it out for themselves what’s really going on for a change. Someone else has to stand up and say what should be said. You know what to do.
There’s more to the story than just one side. And all that wah-wah.