Top Ten Realisations That You’re Not A “Student” Anymore, Mature-Age Student #SSAWeek

Welcome to Hour Ten of the Token Skeptic Sunday Sessions!

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1) When you write “SHHH UP ALREADY” in ink on your forearm so often that it’s turning into a tattoo after only the second day – because you’re sick to death of automatically putting your hand up in class for every question and realising that yes, you do probably know the answer, but it’s about time other people had a go at the question. Behave yourself.

2) When the teachers admit you have more qualifications in education than they do…

3) … and they turn up one day to discover that you’ve quietly rearranged the class desks one morning, in order to better facilitate a group activity environment, as per the theories of Reggio Emilia.

4) You notice that another classmate has a Voss glass waterbottle like yours, and you think that “Oh man, now I can’t bring my Voss waterbottle to class anymore, people’ll think that I’m copying her style…” and then realise that you’re both mature age students of the class (aka old enough to have nearly paid off the mortgage) and no one actually cares. Unlike back when you were both students in circa-1990.

5) You practically bring a first-aid-kit to every class, because some of the students remind you of your nieces and you’re worried that they’re not getting enough sleep or nutrition. They’re eighteen. They’ll never get enough sleep or food from here on out.

6) Speaking of “eighteen”, a bunch of fellow students boast about going to a very loud and raging party over the holiday break and you’re all disapproving and shit – until you remember that when you were eighteen, one half of your class class were regularly stoned on some substance or another; the other quarter were addicted to coffee and cigarettes in preparation for their law degrees, and the last quarter were doing everyone else’s homework, otherwise they’d never be invited to such parties in the first place (in fact, you were wholly responsible for Natalie R getting a passing grade in Health Education in Grade 10 – except for the parts about contraception, because Natalie knew EVERYTHING about contraception).

7) You not only have a binder with plastic sleeves, plastic envelopes and hole-reinforcers, you have backups of all your written notes in typed form and saved in two different places. And you keep all the stationary receipts for tax purposes. Back when you were a real student, you were lucky to just have a working pen.

8) You cite Kant in a one page assignment on safety in the workplace.

9) You cite Nietzsche in a half-page assignment on commercial radio and the law.

10) You’re the only student in the class, on a radio project on 1960s music, who knows why this bird is called Woodstock.

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About Kylie Sturgess

Kylie Sturgess is a Philosophy teacher, media and psychology student, blogger at Patheos and podcaster at Token Skeptic. She has conducted over a hundred interviews including artists, scientists, politicians and activists, worldwide.
She’s the author of the ‘Curiouser and Curiouser‘ column at the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry website and travels internationally lecturing on feminism, skepticism, and science.


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