In order for Tanner to earn a “Group Activity” badge for Cub Scouts, we joined his den at MonsterJam a week ago. Yes, that’s the “sport” where monster trucks race each other around in circles and run over smaller cars. I had a few surreal moments therein:
-The Metrodome was nearly full — probably 50,000 people — leading me to seriously reconsider my contention that Minnesotans are generally more intelligent than the rest of the American population. (No, the election of Jesse Ventura had not caused me to reconsider this.)
-As Lee Greenwood’s “I’m Proud to Be an American” was playing at massive decibel levels, an enormous American flag was carried into the middle of the stadium by about two dozen people. Tanner (6), fresh off of a week of public education, said, “Dad, are they singing about Martin Luther King, cuz he wanted freedom?”
“Not exactly,” I told him.
-About halfway in to the evening, I realized that every event was rigged so that Grave Digger would win. A quick Wikipedia check later that night explains that “Digger,” was purchased from driver Dennis Anderson by Clear Channel Communications in 1998. Of course it was.
-The emcee, a rotund man who ran around the track and cajoled us through our earplugs into cheering, had obviously failed to watch the ESPN report on the 25th anniversary of “The Wave.” The Wave is over, dude. It’s passé. No one does it anymore.
-The thought occurred to me that I’m very likely the only Red-Letter Christian who’s ever been to MonsterJam.