Did Jesus Die on a Chocolate Cross?

I’m no pietist, as many readers will know.  In fact, my local newspaper once ran a story about me being installed as a pastor at Colonial Church titled, “The Irreverent Reverend.”  However, some things cross the line even for me.

I’ve been avoiding shopping at Target to stand in solidarity with Lady Gaga.  No, actually, I was avoiding Target before Gaga, but for the same reasons.  Well, now I have another reason to avoid Target, because last night, in a moment of weakness, I stopped by for some various and sundries.  My second mistake was walking through the Easter section (my Beloved was jonesing for a Cadbury Egg).  And there I saw this:

I get kitchy Jesus.  I get the Buddy Christ.  That’s because I get irony.  But I’m pretty sure that neither Russell Stover nor Target get irony.  I’m pretty sure that they’re selling a chocolate cross without any sense of irony.

  • Rick Bennett

    so will you boycott all stores that sell these, including the grocery stores?

    I guess your Lent includes fasting from pretty much everything.

  • Greg Gorham

    Yeah those are all over the place – we’ve had them at Walgreens for years.

  • Nathan

    If anyone would follow me, they must take up their cross….and eat it?

  • Alex

    For crying out loud, don’t they know that crosses are supposed to only come in WHITE chocolate?

  • http://www.saintmarysepiscopal.org Rex McKee

    Tony….right on….perhaps we ought consider a Lenten Conspiracy in the same tradition as the Advent Conspiracy…..Easter is about Resurrection, not so much about eggs, chocolate, and hats. Blessings.

  • JoeyS

    Rex, not a bad idea!

  • Richard

    Tony,

    Ever heard “Chocolate Jesus” by Tom Waits? He wrote it out in response to the “Testa-Mints” his father-in-law used to give him. Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5kHx1itU8c&feature=related

  • http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/ Richard Beck
  • JOHN

    Lighten up, Francis.

    A secular store selling “religious” merchandise is far less offensive to me than a churchplex selling coffee and other merchandise on their campus. (“campus”???? Seriously WTF)

  • Annie

    I’m with Rex. And also John.

  • toddh

    Homer Simpson: “mmm… chocolate instruments of torture… agghgghh….”

  • Barney

    Do you boycott all stores that sell hot cross buns, too?

  • http://theoxfordchristian.blogspot.com Dreaming Beneath the Spires

    It’s offensive. Imagine dreaming up a chocolate cross purely to make money! I love chocolate, but don’t think I could eat it with any pleasure.
    Anita

  • http://www.antechurch.com Joshua Jinno

    Our Pastor Emeritus actually handed these things out this week at the Church meeting to leaders… I’ve learned however to give grace to 81 year old former pastors who’ve had strokes, and wear a Demerol patch. hahaha

  • GaryP

    Being a Christian family, I hate to promote secular/pagan beliefs, such as the bunny or satan claus. We search for eggs, but they are the Resurrection Eggs, which promote the story of the death and ressurection of Jesus Christ. Now, I do agree that Russel Stover, among other candy makers, are making these crosses to line their pockets. But, given the options, I’d rather give my children items which more closely exhibit our faith than a giant bunny that poops easter eggs filled with candy. Not an ideal world, but we try, eh?

  • John

    @GaryP You said: “Not an ideal world, but we try, eh?”

    No, it is not an ideal world BECAUSE you try. Meaning this: you call your family a “Christian family.” But what does this mean, exactly? You and your wife are presumably Christian, and that’s fine, but I see a big problem with you raising your children in your faith. Children do not have the mental capacity to make decisions such as which religion to follow (or if to follow a religion at all), so filling their minds with YOUR religion is tantamount to brain-washing or indoctrination, something we find so insidious among other groups we see. Wouldn’t it make more sense and be more responsible to let them grow up without the burden of religion until they reach a time when their cognitive abilities can make an informed decision?

    Anyone who adheres to a particular faith because they were raised that way has the worst foundation possible for their faith. Further, wanting your children to believe as you do is pure selfishness, and at worse, a form of child abuse.

  • Michelle

    It’s no more offensive than people sipping little cups of juice/wine and nibbling on crackers and essentially telling the world that they’re down with simulated cannibalism.

  • Amanda

    I’m with Gary. And John, whoa. Selfishness? Child abuse? Would you hurl such statements at devout Jews, how about Hindus or Muslims??? And raising your child WITHOUT religion is still teaching him or her something about religion (a form of paganism or humanism perhaps). Kind of in the way an indecisive person says, “I just won’t make a decision about x right now.” Well, guess what…indecision is still a decision.

    I am raising my children in a Christian home. I pray that they will one day make a decision for Christ–not because I told them to, or because it would make mom happy, but because they have come to know Christ personally, and made the faith and the relationship their own.

  • John

    @Amanda: You said: “Selfishness? Child abuse? Would you hurl such statements at devout Jews, how about Hindus or Muslims???”

    Of course I would. Amanda, as a Christian, is it not your desire to see every knee bow and worship Christ? If that is true, how can it not bother you that young children are being taught false religions such as fundamentalist Islam? It bothers me that children are being taught TO HATE. Hatred is learned, and the cycles of violence in this world will not end until this pattern of indoctrination is broken.

    You said: “And raising your child WITHOUT religion is still teaching him or her something about religion (a form of paganism or humanism perhaps). Kind of in the way an indecisive person says, “I just won’t make a decision about x right now.” Well, guess what…indecision is still a decision.”

    Religion and morality are not synonymous. Yes, we definitely should teach our children to be moral beings, but religion has nothing to do with that. One can certainly be moral without religion. I think that ALL religions should be taught to children, and not one in particular. Only then will they be able, when they are able, to make an informed decision about which one they wish to follow (if any).

    You said: “I am raising my children in a Christian home. I pray that they will one day make a decision for Christ–not because I told them to, or because it would make mom happy, but because they have come to know Christ personally, and made the faith and the relationship their own.”

    Well, guess what Amanda. The overwhelming odds are that they WILL follow in your footsteps BECAUSE they were raised in a Christian home, NOT because they freely choose it, just as YOU would have ended up worshipping Allah had you been born and raised in Saudi Arabia. That’s the way it is. You are fooling yourself if you think that a child raised in a Christian home who chooses to become a Christian has acted out of free will. But I’m sure that, and the end of the day, you probably think that the ends justified the means. As does every religion. And on it goes.

  • Amanda

    I wasn’t talking about morality, and never said that you can’t be a moral person without being a Christian. And to your later point, I can’t even count the number of people I know who were raised in Christian homes, but who are not Christian today. We are all given freewill. I was raised in a Christian home, but no one ever held a gun to my head–I had (and have) a choice. Bottom line is, if you believe you have the truth, you will give that information to your children. Why would I raise my children to believe in what I believe to be false religions? And that’s not to say that it’s wrong to learn about other religions and cultures, but that’s a different story.

  • John

    Amanda-

    My point was– if one can be moral without being a Christian (or any other religion, for that matter), for what do we need religion?

    I think you overestimate the concept of “free will” WRT raising children in one’s particular faith. You may not have had a gun to your head (and what if a particular faith DID advocate that method?) to insure you following in your parents’ spiritual footsteps, but the cards were certainly stacked in the favor of you doing so. The fact that you know people who were raised in a Christian home who are now not Christians is simply anecdotal evidence.

    The bottom line is that Truth is not simply what you decide to believe. Merely because you BELIEVE that you are following the ONE TRUE religion (after all, why would you believe in a false religion?) doesn’t necessarily mean that you are any closer to the Truth than a Muslim extremist.

  • Amanda

    Morality is not the point of Christianity. The point is to serve Jesus, in whom Christians have salvation. I know you mentioned you think my evidence of friends being raised Christian and then not choosing Christianity is purely anecdotal. But this is a common theme in the old testament–generations of Israelites who served God, followed by generations who turned against him, back and forth. I’d bet if you went back in your own family history a little (assuming you aren’t Jewish), someone in your family tree was a Christian. Why aren’t you?

    Anyway, I just wonder what you’re doing on this blog in the first place–then someone makes an innocent comment about how he prefers to give his Christian family a certain type of chocolate, and you jump all over him, accusing him of child abuse???

  • Jos

    And the award for most blasphemous candy of the year goes to….


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