Around Minnesota, punter Chris Kluwe is something of a legend. Sure, he’s a good punter. But he’s more known for his awesome Twitter feed, his love of online gaming, and his quick wit. A couple weeks ago, he unleashed that wit in an outrageously funny and over-the-top online screed in favor of same sex marriage:
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population, rights like Social Security benefits, childcare tax credits, family and medical leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA health care for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gay Americans? Full-fledged citizens, just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?
Matt Birk is also something of a legend. He grew up here, attended Harvard, and played many years for the Vikings before moving to the Baltimore Ravens. Although he doesn’t mention Kluwe, his recent OpEd in the StarTribune is obviously a response to the punter. In it, Birk rehashes the warmed-over argument that gay marriage will destroy his children’s lives: