Limping Into the New Year — A Christmas Diagnosis

I am limping out of 2014 and into 2015. One week ago today, I had foot surgery, and I’m just now able to put weight on that foot. I’ll be in a boot for several more weeks as the bone that was cut regrows around the pins that should now keep it straight.

I am also limping out of the year spiritually.

[Read more...]

It’s a Court System, Not a Justice System

Years ago, in the midst of my divorce, I was sitting in therapy, again bemoaning the injustices of divorce in Minnesota. I was beyond frustrated at the lack of enforcement of court orders, at the assumption that moms are better parents than dads, and that no one seemed to think that my case was as urgent as I thought it was.

“Stop calling it the ‘Family Justice System,’” my therapist said.

“What?” I asked. “That’s what it’s called.”

[Read more...]

All I Want for Father’s Day: Equal Parenting Time

I’ve blogged in the past about the injustice in the parenting time laws in Minnesota and other states. In fact, I testified in front of a Minnesota Senate hearing on the matter. The law passed on a bi-partisan basis, but was vetoed by our short-sighted governor, after he was lobbied by divorce lawyers. As it stands, dads still get the shaft in most states when it comes to post-divorce custody.

Now, Gail Rosenblum reports, women are joining the fight. In fact, the new group that has formed is only women:

It’s not all wrapped up yet, but a big gift is arriving for divorced dads who want equal time with their kids.

Launched in early May and already claiming a broad spectrum of members across the United States and Canada, a new advocacy group is determined to finally make equally shared parenting a reality.

These aren’t a bunch of guys. Every member is a woman.

Leading Women for Shared Parenting (www.lw4sp.org), founded in May in Massachusetts, will launch officially on Father’s Day. Many members aren’t waiting.

[Read more...]

Marriage Advice from Divorcées

Since the dissolution of my first marriage, I have been reluctant to give anyone marriage advice. I think most divorcées probably share this reluctance. Fellow Patheos blogger Wendy Murray does, but vulnerably, humbly, and thoughtfully ventures into that space anyway. She has several good pieces of advice in the post, but this is the one that I most resonate with, and the one that I’ve been most careful to attend to in my current, beautiful marriage:

Time is not benign

Wendy Murray

There is a trajectory being set for your marriage, even in these earliest days — in fact especially in these earliest days. Time will do its work, again — for better or for worse. Right now, patterns are being developed between you and your spouse that will continue to increase in magnitude over time.

Read the rest: Advice to Newlyweds from a (Divorced) Pastor’s Wife.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X