I visit Christian Nightmares a lot. It’s like picking a scab. It hurts, but I can’t stop.

Christian Nightmares’ 15 favorite/worst video posts of 2011 (in no particular order; for last year’s list, click here)

1) Satanic, psychedelic remix of Christian public access evangelist Reverend Dolly Harrell

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2) Evangelist and failed comedian Dawson McAllister preaches against ‘worldliness’

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3) An incredibly infectious and upbeat Christian kids’ song about the Bible

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4) Evangelist Patricia King marvels over her pal Joshua Mills as God covers him with blue sparkle dust and oil miraculously pours from his palms

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5) ‘How dare you!’: An amazing remix of arrogant, condescending Pastor Mark Driscoll

SEE THE REST OF THE LIST Christian Nightmares, Christian Nightmares’ 15 favorite/worst video….

Sweden has granted The Church of Kopism, a religion based on file-sharing, official status.  Does that make BitTorrent a mega-church? (Please note the ample use of scare quotes in the BBC story.)

Sweden recognises new file-sharing religion Kopimism

The Church of Kopimism claims that “kopyacting” – sharing information through copying – is akin to a religious service.

The “spiritual leader” of the church said recognition was a “large step”.

But others were less enthusiastic and said the church would do little to halt the global crackdown on piracy.

Holy information

The Swedish government agency Kammarkollegiet finally registered the Church of Kopimism as a religious organisation shortly before Christmas, the group said.

“We had to apply three times,” said Gustav Nipe, chairman of the organisation.

The church, which holds CTRL+C and CTRL+V (shortcuts for copy and paste) as sacred symbols, does not directly promote illegal file sharing, focusing instead on the open distribution of knowledge to all.

READ THE REST

Don’t know what to get your pastor’s wife for Christmas?  Well, I’m here to help!  At pastor-gifts.com, they’ve got a whole section dedicated to the faithful wife:

When trying to decide what to buy, have you wondered what the top Christmas gift for our first lady is? It depends on pastor’s wife you are buying for because each one has her own unique taste and interests. But you should know that our pastor’s wife is woman just like all women have something in common always have some similar interests as well. For example, almost women are interested in exquisite things.

Choosing something that can enrich pastor’s wife and help her relieve pressure will be thoughtful and wonderful. What’s kinds of life does your pastor’s wife have? She choose to be special wife, but how many have you ever know from her heart, sometimes, they must have a bad feeling of fatigue, helplessness, pressure and sorrow, she also needs help and support.

You know person’s biggest need is that for recognition. Our pastor’s wife needs to receive our recognition and appreciation to support her service and value. Let your personalized and thoughtful pastor’s wife giftshelp you express your gratitude and blessing.

There’s some awesome grammar in those paragraphs.  And, if you like poetry, how about the poem on the plaque above:

When we thank God for our pastor,
we must give Him thanks for two,
for when your husband came to us,
God also send us you.

And we say thanks for all you do
and lift you up in prayer.

Your presence blessed all of us
who know you from day to day
as our pastor’s wife,

You are serving God
in a fine and worthy way.

And if that’s not quite right, how about their top 25 list:

1. Spa Basket – Bath products (bubbles, bath oils)
2. Cookbook
3. Flowers
4. Engraved Crystal Plaque
5. Garden Tote & Tools
6. Books
7. Music CD
8. Pillowcase
9. Throw Pillow
10. Big Candles (with her favorite scent)
11. Sentiments Vase
12. Pets
13. Plants
14. Scarf
15. Personalized Casserole Dish
16. Jewelry Box
17. Family Necklace
18. Ring Holder
19. Compact Mirrors
20. Handmade Christmas Desserts
21. Picnic Backpack
22. Cashmere Gloves
23. Oil Lamp
24. Family Relaxation Wear
25. A planned evening out or in without children

I can pretty much guarantee you you that, after reading this, I’ll be getting Shelley Pagitt a throw pillow for Christmas this year.

He sat in his own pew!

How about the guy who streaked in church, did you hear about him?

They grabbed him by the organ!

If you’ve got a good religious joke, it could win you a free copy of Jim Martin’s new book, Between Heaven and Mirth. Go the the Patheos Book Club and post your joke!

Here’s the current homepage at UMC.org:

I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille:

I have no problem being the poster child for service rather than consumerism on Black Friday, and I don’t even object to a denomination using my image for that purpose, but the story is about a few churches in South Texas that have started a ministry called “Bless Friday.”  The image is from a retreat for college students that I led in Las Vegas a couple years ago.

So I guess now I’m stock art.

HT: Shane Mullin (who, for some reason, was on the UMC homepage yesterday)

Neo-Hipster?

Busted by a colleague, Bethany Stolle, I was sent an article from McSweeney’s, excerpted below.  While it’s true that I’m currently growing out an Bon Iveresque beard, and I wear glasses from Warby Parker, nota bene that I live in a house that, upon seeing it, Nadia Bolz-Weber exclaimed, “Oh dear God, Tony, not a split level!”

Anyway, the piece is fracking hilarious (yes, I watch BSG, and yes that’s kind of hipster).

Hey guys, long time no see, toss me a PBR—actually, better make it a Coors Light. I know, I look different, but before you all start saying how I look like some midtown suit, let me explain. I haven’t gone pleb on you, I’m actually a neo-hipster now. It’s basically where you’re a hipster, but since hipsterism has gone so mainstream you dress and act like a regular person, ironically.

It’s like this. In the morning when I wake up, I’ll put on a pair of skinny jeans and a Sonics t-shirt—but then when it’s time to go out, I’ll ironically slap on a pair of runners, some blue jeans, and a no-name golf shirt I ironically bought at Target. And those thick-rimmed glasses I used to wear? I still wear them in my house, but I got them changed to a zero prescription since I recently ironically got laser eye surgery.

via McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: You Look at Me Like You’ve Never Seen a Neo-Hipster Before..

I’m currently growing out my beard, in a Minnesota-lumberjack-Bon-Iver kind of way.  So you can imagine my horror to read of the internecine battle among Amish, causing some members of that community to attack others and cut off their beards:

STEUBENVILLE, Ohio — A group of religious castoffs has been attacking fellow Amish, cutting off their hair and beards in an apparent feud over spiritual differences in the deeply traditional community, a sheriff said Thursday.

Members of a group of families disavowed by mainstream Amish have cut the beards off men and the hair off a half-dozen or more men and women, Jefferson County Sheriff Fred Abdalla said. He said the cutting apparently was meant to be degrading.

But the real money quote of the story is this:

He said Amish-on-Amish violence “is extremely rare.”

via Beards, hair cut off in attacks on Amish – US news – Crime & courts – msnbc.com.

Origin unknown.  If you know, leave it in the comments.

In which the men, ages 64-87, of the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Framingham, Massachusetts, pose nude for the church calendar:

More here.

It seems that One Million Moms and the American Family Association — because they don’t have anything better to do — have launched a campaign against Schweddy Balls, the newest flavor at Ben & Jerry’s (based on one of the greatest SNL sketches of all time).

Joel has posted a letter that all of us with senses of humor can sign and pass on to Ben & Jerry:

I wouldn’t dream of demanding that the women at OMM and AFA have a sense of humor. I honestly don’t care if they like Schweddy Balls as a name or a flavor. What I do ask is that they respect my right to choose the flavors that please me and be amused by the things that make me laugh.

If they like Tough Love Vanilla with Dirt of Shame Sprinkles, that’s great. I say “eat up, ladies.” You dine on what brings you delight. And, truly, God bless you as you sup.

If they want to tell each other G-rated knock-knock jokes, a hearty “har har” is what I wish them. To tell you the truth, I don’t mind a corny knock-knock or riddle myself.

But I laugh at other things and I enjoy other flavors too.

via Save Our Schweddy Balls! « Joel.