When Courtney and I were married by Doug Pagitt at Solomon’s Porch in July, 2011, there were no legal documents signed. The State of Minnesota and Hennepin County were not invited to our wedding. Our parents, my kids, other family and friends all celebrated just as joyously as any other wedding (maybe even moreso), and no one asked when we were going to sign the legal contracts required by the state for our marriage to be sanctioned by the government.
I’m guessing that no one thought twice about that because we could get legally married any time we wanted. Many of our friends, however, could not. That meant that their marriage ceremonies, while sacred, did not have the potential to be legal. It was for this reason that Courtney and I decided to forego legal marriage until such time as our GLBT friends were afforded all of the benefits that accrue with a legal marriage. (In Minnesota alone, that was estimated to be 515 benefits.) [Read more...]
I’m an extrovert. Surprised? Having just returned from a week at the family cabin with 14 humans and 8 dogs, my beloved, the introvert, sent me this graphic and accompanied links:
Introverts reflect on new information at length and react relatively slowly:
Extroverts are geared more for action, so they reflect and react almost at the same time
I realize that it is a grandiose claim to say that, regarding marriage equality, I stand on the right side of history. But that’s exactly what I felt as I stood in the rotunda of the Minnesota State Capitol and held vigil with thousands of others as the State Senate debated HF 1054, extending the right to marry to same sex couples. At 4:19pm, it passed 37-30, and today at 5pm, Governor Mark Dayton will sign it into law.
I stood alongside Doug Pagitt, Jay Bakker, and Russell Rathbun, fellow (straight, white, male) Minnesota clergymen who also support marriage equality. Dozens of clergy were in the crowd, based on the number of clerical shirts I saw. Many of them stood in the middle, leading songs — we were along the edge of the crowd, greeting people we know. Also there were Courtney with her camera (see above), Wendy Johnson and her daughter, our friends Bryan and Scott, and other friends and acquaintances. We were receiving news about the speeches inside the Senate chambers via text message and Twitter.
Marriage equality is a civil rights issue.
LZ Granderson, senior writer for ESPN, takes a break from sports to chastise the evangelical church’s head-in-the-sand approach to sex and marriage:
This is one of the areas where the evangelical church needs to grow most — learning how to minister to a society that can no longer be scared straight. The fearmongering has been undermined by hypocrisy, and the younger generations now find themselves in the enviable position of marrying and staying married because they want to, not because they’re afraid not to.
Dr. Bob Mounce, president emeritus of Whitworth College, emailed me this video last week. It’s about his own marriage. I watch it and wonder, why should same sex couples not be able to end their life experiencing the love that Bob is giving his wife?
No, I didn’t write a post with that title. But if I had, it would have gotten HUGE traffic.
However, here are my biggest posts of the year:
Most Comments: [Read more...]
If you’re looking for a little Sunday afternoon reading, may I commend a couple of the comment sections from last week’s posts. First, I point you to a robust conversation — particularly between Patrick and Bob — under my post, “The Five Biggest Problems Facing America.”
And secondly, Carla Jo left a comment that caused me to think more deeply about my current posts on marriage. Her opener:
Okay, here’s something that’s been sticking with me over the course of this conversation. Let me start by saying I agree a billion percent with your thoughts on this. But here’s what I’m wondering. By not getting a legal marriage as well as a sacramental marriage, do straight couples unintentionally prove the point that the benefits of a legal marriage are not all that important?… [READ THE REST]
There’s been a pretty interesting discussion happening at the Washington Post website under the column that Lisa Miller wrote about my views — it was posted on Thursday and ran in the print edition on Saturday. What’s interesting is that, in the print edition, it ran next to an article about how more and more couples are asking relatives and friends, rather than clergy, to officiate their wedding ceremonies. That prompted this comment from laboo:
Huh? This commentary is so off-target in so many ways, it makes me wonder whether the writer even understands the process.
The state is the sole issuer of marriage licenses. Anyone properly authorized by the state can perform the marriage ceremony; the writer acknowledges this. (And, as a companion article points out, the Unitarians have a quick path to obtaining state authorization…)
Nothing can compel Tony Jones, or any other minister, to marry any individuals. Pastors often turn down requests for weddings, for numerous and varied reasons. Usually this is on a case-by-case basis, but Jones is well within his authority (and moral right) to take the position he does. It’s not as if he’s in any way frustrating the rights of others to get married. There’s always the non-inclusive church down the block, or the justice of the peace.
Welcome, Washington Post readers. If you’ve read Lisa Miller’s column about my views on marriage, I invite you to read the eBook in which I’ve collected my posts on the matter. It’s $.99 on the Amazon Kindle. It’s about 3,300 words.
If you’re unfamiliar with ebooks, they’re quite easy to read — for instance, you can download a FREE Kindle reading app to your PC, Mac, tablet, or smartphone. (Or, you could buy a Kindle — I was given one as a gift, and I love it!)