The Dallas Observer continues its intrepid reporting on Baptist pastor Robert Jeffress:
It was hard to fathom how Robert Jeffress could possibly refine his already highly nuanced views on human sexuality, but the First Baptist pastor has managed, somehow, to do just that.
Right Wing Watch brings us a video of Jeffress’s appearance last week on Trinity Broadcasting Network’s “Praise the Lord” in which he further toned down his anti-gay rhetoric.
His premise is there are many ways to deviate from “God’s standard,” sexually speaking. Premarital sex, adultery, unbiblical divorce, man on man, woman on woman, man on woman on man — they’re all wrong in the Lord’s eyes.
He goes on to explain why: “Think about this one time in heaven God was sitting up there with his sketch pad and he said, ‘You know, I’m going to design human beings and would it be fun of they started doing this together with one another.'” Jeffress illustrates this by excitedly jabbing his fingers at one another in a way that makes you feel truly sorry for the missus. “God dreamed up sex, He thought it up for our enjoyment, He gave us the equipment to enjoy it with.”
He goes on to offer us the parable of the TV delivery man who very specifically tells the purchaser to only plug it into a 120-volt outlet. But the buyer, “because those are antiquated instructions” and “it’s my TV and I can do whatever I want to with it,” ignores the advice and rams it into the 220-volt outlet.
“Well it is my TV to do what I want to with it but I’m going to blow that TV into smithereens if I put it in a 220 outlet,” Jeffress said.
Got it. Gay sex makes people explode. In fact, the only sure-fire way to have sex and not explode is to take a cue from Jeffress’ gestured instructions and thrust blindly in your wife’s general direction.