Robert Jeffress: Gay Sex Makes You Explode!

The Dallas Observer continues its intrepid reporting on Baptist pastor Robert Jeffress:

It was hard to fathom how Robert Jeffress could possibly refine his already highly nuanced views on human sexuality, but the First Baptist pastor has managed, somehow, to do just that.

Right Wing Watch brings us a video of Jeffress’s appearance last week on Trinity Broadcasting Network’s “Praise the Lord” in which he further toned down his anti-gay rhetoric.

His premise is there are many ways to deviate from “God’s standard,” sexually speaking. Premarital sex, adultery, unbiblical divorce, man on man, woman on woman, man on woman on man — they’re all wrong in the Lord’s eyes.

He goes on to explain why: “Think about this one time in heaven God was sitting up there with his sketch pad and he said, ‘You know, I’m going to design human beings and would it be fun of they started doing this together with one another.'” Jeffress illustrates this by excitedly jabbing his fingers at one another in a way that makes you feel truly sorry for the missus. “God dreamed up sex, He thought it up for our enjoyment, He gave us the equipment to enjoy it with.”

He goes on to offer us the parable of the TV delivery man who very specifically tells the purchaser to only plug it into a 120-volt outlet. But the buyer, “because those are antiquated instructions” and “it’s my TV and I can do whatever I want to with it,” ignores the advice and rams it into the 220-volt outlet.

“Well it is my TV to do what I want to with it but I’m going to blow that TV into smithereens if I put it in a 220 outlet,” Jeffress said.

Got it. Gay sex makes people explode. In fact, the only sure-fire way to have sex and not explode is to take a cue from Jeffress’ gestured instructions and thrust blindly in your wife’s general direction.

via Robert Jeffress: Gay Sex is Like Plugging a TV in the Wrong Socket, Making it Explode – Dallas – News – Unfair Park.

Slacktivist Bait

Robert Jeffress: Obama Is “Paving the Way for … the Antichrist”

Posted on November 6th, 2012 2:59pm by Tim Rogers

An alert FrontBurnervian points us to the news that First Baptist Dallas’ pastor, Robert Jeffress, knows how to generate headlines. From his Sunday sermon:

“I want you to hear me tonight, I am not saying that President Obama is the Antichrist, I am not saying that at all. One reason I know he’s not the Antichrist is the Antichrist is going to have much higher poll numbers when he comes. President Obama is not the Antichrist. But what I am saying is this: the course he is choosing to lead our nation is paving the way for the future reign of the Antichrist.

You must admit: the line about the Antichrist’s poll numbers is a good one.

via Robert Jeffress: Obama Is “Paving the Way for … the Antichrist” | FrontBurner.

Robert Jeffress: What’s Not to Like? (A Lot, Actually)

Rev. Robert Jeffress and his floppy Bible (D Magazine/Elizabeth Lavin)

At D Magazine, Michael Mooney writes a long profile of Robert Jeffress, the pastor of First Baptist Dallas.  Jeffress has said that Muhammed was a terrorist, that Mitt Romney is not a Christian, and that Oprah is a tool of Satan.  In spite, of that Mooney finds reason to like him:

Before I met Robert Jeffress, I wanted to hate him. Jeffress is the conservative preacher who made national headlines in October, when he called Mormonism a cult. He’s the senior pastor at First Baptist Dallas, the oldest megachurch in America, and I am certainly not a Baptist. He endorsed Rick Perry for president, and I’m definitely no fan of Perry’s. As a matter of fact, Robert Jeffress and I probably disagree on every major political and religious issue. And yet, I really, really like him.

It would be easy to dislike him if he were a hypocrite or a bigot, if he were an insufferable megalomaniac or the kind of man who preaches out of hate and anger. But he’s none of those things. He’s actually delightful to be around. He’s not just polite; he earnestly cares about people. He may not believe in evolution, but he really does want to know how your day has been. He may oppose certain rights for gay people, but he genuinely desires for you to be merry on Christmas. If he talks with you, he’s attentive and giving. He’s curious about you and about the world.

[Read more…]