Is It Time for Christians to Celebrate Pre-Marital Sex?

One of the things about being divorced and remarried is that everyone knows that I’ve had sex with more than one partner. No one seems to hold it against me because I was married before, and I’m married now. I get a pass.

Recently, Sarah Bessey wrote a powerful post at Deeper Story, “I Am Damaged Goods“:

He passed around a cup of water and asked us all to spit into it. Some boys horked and honked their worst into that cup while everyone laughed. Then he held up that cup of cloudy saliva from the crowd and asked, “Who wants to drink this?!”

And every one in the crowd made barfing noises, no way, gross!

“This is what you are like if you have sex before marriage,” he said seriously, “you are asking your future husband or wife to drink this cup.”

She didn’t get a pass, because she wasn’t married when she first had sex. But she is now, and she’s not going to live in shame any longer because, as she proclaims, “There is no shame in Christ’s love.

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The Wild Goose Festival: My Talks

WGF logo

I actually didn’t give any talks, per se, at the Goose.  I was a speaker host, I sat on a panel, I moderated a panel, and led a discussion in the GeoDome.  I’m glad about this, actually, for it afforded me just the kind of dialogue in which I think I work best — that is, the more I mature as a theologian, I think I’m better at dialogue than I am at monologue.

The first was a panel on Friday, moderated by Becky Knight, on the topic of sexuality.  It was held in the GeoDome to an overflow crowd.  Along with me were Paul Fromberg, Andrew Marin, Mark Scandrette, Seth Donovan, Rachel Swan, Jay Bakker, and Becky Kuhn.  With so many panelists, we didn’t get much time individually to talk, but we each made an introductory statement, then we had a chance to respond to questions from the audience.  My opening salvo was basically this: A clergyperson acted as an agent of the government and married me, binding me in a legal contract; but that clergyperson was nowhere to be found when it came time to undo that legal contract; therefore the church should get out of the marriage business.

I would say that the consensus of the panel and the crowd is that we must make the issue of sexuality in the church be about a lot more than “what to do with ‘the gays.’”

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