The Confession of a Former Youth Pastor

As I was biking to and from work last Friday, I listened to an excellent edition of This American Life.  The subject was amusement parks, and it was hilarious (and even a little inspiring).

One of the segments played voicemails that listeners had left about their most poignant amusement park memories, many of which had to do with being vomited on.

I don’t like amusement parks.  Never have.  They’re hot, sticky, plastic places, “the first toxic great excrement of a hyperreal civilization.”

But, as a youth pastor, I had to spend at least one day every summer at an amusement park.  So, I had a secret plan, that I will now confess to the world:

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