I’m getting (re-)married next week, and I’ve been looking for inspiration in the vow department. When I was a pastor, I virtually disallowed couples to use self-written vows in ceremonies that I was officiating. The reason: they were entering into a covenant that has been entered into billions of times by billions of people. They weren’t making this up — singing solo — but were instead joining a chorus of people who’d done this before. Further, a recitation of traditional vows gave every married person in the congregation the chance to squeeze their spouse’s hand and, in a way, renew their own vows.
But as a divorced person, I cannot avoid the fact that, though I truly meant “until death do us part” back in 1997, by 2008 that commitment had unraveled. So I, and other divorced persons, are left with a quandary: