The Great Divorce… the musical

So, remember that atheist friend I had the The Great Divorce bookclub with?  There were a number of unexpected benefits to that fight, but perhaps the most delightful is the fact that my friend likes songwriting and Sondheim, and relyricized a number from Into the Woods to be about the Dwarf and the Tragedian.

You can google around for a summary of the scene (I don’t see the text up anywhere) but, given how often I recommend it and that my friend with a wildly different belief system agreed it was well worth reading, you may want to go to the library or a bookstore.  So, without further ado, let me have him take it away….

 

To the tune of “Agony” from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim

 

TRAGEDIAN
When we both lived, you
Neglected my needs
Did not do your part for me
But I forgive you
For your selfish greed
Cease breaking your heart for me!

Agony
That can drive you insane
It must be what you’ve felt
When I haven’t been holding your chain

DWARF
Hour by hour
I sit here and cower
In pity and fear
True, I’ve been spited
But now we’re united
Did you miss me dear?
Ahhhhhhh…
Agony!

LADY
That will pain you no more.

TRAGEDIAN
Notice she didn’t answer us

DWARF
She’s done all this before

BOTH
Agony!
Tell us you have felt pain!

TRAGEDIAN
You’re not above us!

DWARF
If you really love us

BOTH
Let us hold your chain

TRAGEDIAN
Were we not
Sensitive
Loving
Considered, Com-
Passionate,
Plus we
Allowed you to take the last stamp!

DWARF
We had thought you would want to repay us
And do so!

TRAGEDIAN
Did you? No.

LADY
Forget and be glad!

TRAGEDIAN
You mean you have felt gladness,
When we’ve pined for your care?
That is bloody unfair
We’re so needy, and–

LADY
Shut up, Tragedian.

BOTH
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

DWARF
Agony!

TRAGEDIAN
Misery!

DWARF
Woe!

BOTH
No, you don’t care, it’s plain

DWARF
You have left us behind

TRAGEDIAN
And you need us no more

BOTH
While we’re holding this chain!
Agony!

LADY
Just be happy instead!

(The DWARF vanishes)

TRAGEDIAN
I wish that you were dead.

 

(My friend Mytheos does other amusing relyricizations about Game of Thrones which are about at SFW as the books themselves at Childhood Meets Westeros)

About Leah Libresco

Leah Anthony Libresco graduated from Yale in 2011. She works as an Editorial Assistant at The American Conservative by day, and by night writes for Patheos about theology, philosophy, and math at www.patheos.com/blogs/unequallyyoked. She was received into the Catholic Church in November 2012."

  • Joe

    I am tempted to be throughly disturbed by this song, however I will chose to be happy instead!!! Its good to know there are nerds out there that are creative enough to come up with this stuff.

  • Pingback: The Great Divorce… the musical - CATHOLIC FEAST - Sync your Soul

  • Paul

    You really enjoy musical theatre! Have you ever heard of Hans Urs Von Balthasar? only theologian who could put theology , philosophy , literature and insights from theatre all together.

    • http://paraphasic.blogspot.com Elliot Milco

      Have you heard of Dante?

  • http://not-atamelion.blogspot.com Michael H.

    Oh, this is beautiful. D’you think we could do the Great Divorce with the rest of Into the Woods? The tone might not fit very well. (And the fact that the Tragedian is, well, dramatic justifies the musical excesses of this song where other characters’ personalities might not.)

  • House Baelish

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for linking to the Game of Thrones parodies!!! I had never heard of them before, but now, I’m addicted :)


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