When Discerning, Fewer Relationships are “Failed” Ones

(image from SceneSisters)

Ilana Yurkiewicz explained, as a doctor, how she has to make an active effort to avoid learning callousness from the occasional deceptions of her patients.  Meanwhile, in the Federalist, Teresa Mull is tackling a similar problem in modern dating.  She's worried about the danger of being emotionally overextended, and would like to see folks engage in fewer high-turnover, emotionally-intense assignations. The practice of bonding and staying close until one partner arbitrarily changes his or her mi … [Read more...]

Throwing Spaghetti at the Modern Dating Wall

Lawrence Alma-Tadema's The Proposal

I've been seeing a fair amount in my feeds (both RSS and social media) about the Perils Of Flirting, and how to navigate them of late.Everything from a married friend mentioning that she gives positive feedback to the people who flirt with her well without noticing her ring, because she wants to encourage positive public flirting to a lot of internet discussion of the professor who shared how his anxiety about having any appropriate way to approach women drove him to (a) consider suicide and … [Read more...]

Struggling to Offer an Open House

comfy chair

I picked up Robert Farrar Capon's Bed and Board: Plain Talk About Marriage after reading Melanie's post on The Wine Dark Sea on "What has Beatrice to do with Bed?"  The quotes she assembled were easily enough to get me to order the book for myself.And I suspect they're a little more generally appealing than the quote I want to highlight from my reading, so perhaps you want to pop over chez elle first?I really liked Capon's book, and, if I'm ever lucky enough to be verging on getting engag … [Read more...]

“Safety” is a Piss-Poor Pitch for Chastity

woman-alabaster-jar

A recent First Things post aimed to arm its readers with a positive case for chastity, one that could appeal to non-Christian friends.  But I struggled to find anything positive or invigorating in the sample arguments presented.  For example: A case at University of Houston may serve. According to a legal complaint filed in U.S. District Court, the facts aren’t unusual. One evening, after attending a UH event, a male student went to a nearby bar and met a female student for the first time. They … [Read more...]

Interviewing Eve Tushnet on Vocations of Love

eve interview

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of doing a Q&A with Eve Tushnet, author of Gay and Catholic: Accepting My Sexuality, Finding Community, Living My Faith as part of her ongoing Patheos book club. I'll be writing my own review of the book soon, but, in the meantime, enjoy the video above, place an order for the book, and check out Eve's blog (especially the posts with "Book Extra" in the title).  … [Read more...]

Falling in Love with the World through the Eyes of the Beloved

under poarch

There's an interesting piece of research going around on what makes relationships grow and deepen (versus fracture and wound).  John Gottman and Robert Levenson (the "Love Lab" researchers) were looking for the smallest kind of observational data that let them (fairly) reliably distinguish good relationships from bad.  Here's what they found had the most power to predict the success of a marriage over its first six years: Throughout the day, artners would make requests for connection, what G … [Read more...]

Writing Relationships into a Corner

faces

Earlier this week, I was chatting with a friend about A.O. Scott's big piece on storytelling and the death of adulthood.  Scott discusses the tendency of male heroes to "light out for the Territory," escaping the feminized world of social expectations and perhaps a specific female person (be it mother or maiden).  While Huck stepped outside of society in order to critique it, men in modern stories, Scott claims, tend to be rebels in retreat; they've traded in Jim's raft for the stoner's c … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X