Exercising Self Control

This post, as counter-intuitive as it seems, is part of a series on covenant marriage. It probably won’t be clear why for one or two more posts.How do you guarantee that you’re going to stick by your convictions and principles?This January, you’ve probably seen plenty of articles talking about online services meant to hold you to your New Year’s resolutions. The most famous of these is Stikk which lets you set goals and pay forfeits if you can’t achieve them. Users often arrange to pay t … [Read more...]

Evolution is Not Destiny

This post is part of a series about covenant marriage. After reading yesterday's post about two married people who left their spouses, Hendy of technologeekeryhad a question: Why are humans inclined toward romantic monogamy? Heck, there might even be genes for monogamy and an inclination toward cheating! Interesting findings. I by no means think genes = predetermination. My genes would have me hoard fat (especially) and sugar because historically they were more likely to benefit survival... … [Read more...]

What Marriage is Not

This post is part of a series on covenant marriage.Over winter break, a controversial profile appeared in The New York Times's Vows column.  The NYT featured a pair of newlyweds who had left their previous spouses and broken up their original families in order to be with each other.  The article drew a lot of criticism from both sides of the culture war.  Here are some choice excerpts from the profile:But it was hard to ignore their easy rapport. They got each other’s jokes and finish … [Read more...]

Covenant Marriage Index

Some time ago, I got into a dispute about covenant marriage with my friend Stephen, who blogs at The Last Delta-T.  I'm defending my position in a series of posts, both because I have problems with a subset of anti-marriage rhetoric that is sometimes used by people on the left (particularly my friends!) and because I think my views on marriage are a decent intro to some of my virtue ethics beliefs generally. What We Talk About When We Talk About Marriage - an intro to our … [Read more...]

Covenant marriage isn’t suited to Christians

This post is part of a series on covenant marriage.For Catholics and theologically conservative Christians, there is no difference between a covenant marriage and the standard form.  In either case, the marriage is sealed as a promise between both spouses but also as a promise between the couple and God. Although the couple could release each other from the commitment they have made to each other, the marriage cannot be dissolved unless God, through his human agents, releases them from their … [Read more...]

7 Quick Takes (12/10/10) Special Marriage Edition

--1-- It's exam period for me, so posting will slow up a bit (the only other option is alternating posts on Sweeney Todd and diptheria: the topics of my two big research papers.  Still, I have a new post on abusive relationships as part of my covenant marriage series, and another post on why I think covenant marriage is bad for Christians will go up this afternoon/evening.In the meantime, here's a roundup of some interesting articles on marriage I've been looking at la … [Read more...]

Covenant Marriage: What about Women?

This post is part of a series on covenant marriage.Mason was troubled by my last post on marriage and raised some objections that are definitely worth addressing. Mason wrote: So my problem with covenant marriage has always been that I don't see how it gets around exactly the gender-power-dynamic problems that we see in not allowing divorce in the first place. If covenant marriage becomes popular in Christian communities, what I see happening relatively quickly is the emergence of two … [Read more...]