Natural vs Normative

I appreciate the Christians weighing in on why they oppose gay marriage and trying to explain how they think people are harmed. One genre of response has turned up in thread and is fairly widespread, so I’ll try to address it. Anonymous wrote: Many people are wondering why infertile heterosexual marriages are considered moral and praise worthy while homosexual "marriages" are not. The reason is that in an infertile heterosexual marriage the sexual organs are, at least, being used for the p … [Read more...]

Put Your Money Where Your Marriage Is

After New York legalized gay marriage Southern Baptist Theological Seminary president Albert Mohler posted the following message to twitter (h/t Daylight Atheism): Now, fully 1 in 9 Americans will live in a state with legalized same-sex marriage. Our mission field is getting more complicated. Adam of Daylight Atheism offered his own gloss on this pronouncement, I’ve got a different hypothesis that requires some feedback by any opposed-to-gay marriage readers. First off, here’s what Adam wro … [Read more...]

Submitting to Others

This is part of a series on covenant marriage, and, hopefully, it’s becoming clearer what this all has to do with virtue.How do you know that you’re not a psychopath?The simplest check on your sense perception (moral or physical) is checking with others to see if they have the same observations as you. If you diverge, you have to weigh the odds that you are the lone sane person in a crazy world. If you’re seeing auras that are invisible to everyone else, you probably have a migraine, not … [Read more...]

Exercising Self Control

This post, as counter-intuitive as it seems, is part of a series on covenant marriage. It probably won’t be clear why for one or two more posts.How do you guarantee that you’re going to stick by your convictions and principles?This January, you’ve probably seen plenty of articles talking about online services meant to hold you to your New Year’s resolutions. The most famous of these is Stikk which lets you set goals and pay forfeits if you can’t achieve them. Users often arrange to pay t … [Read more...]

Evolution is Not Destiny

This post is part of a series about covenant marriage. After reading yesterday's post about two married people who left their spouses, Hendy of technologeekeryhad a question: Why are humans inclined toward romantic monogamy? Heck, there might even be genes for monogamy and an inclination toward cheating! Interesting findings. I by no means think genes = predetermination. My genes would have me hoard fat (especially) and sugar because historically they were more likely to benefit survival... … [Read more...]

What Marriage is Not

This post is part of a series on covenant marriage.Over winter break, a controversial profile appeared in The New York Times's Vows column.  The NYT featured a pair of newlyweds who had left their previous spouses and broken up their original families in order to be with each other.  The article drew a lot of criticism from both sides of the culture war.  Here are some choice excerpts from the profile:But it was hard to ignore their easy rapport. They got each other’s jokes and finish … [Read more...]

Covenant Marriage Index

Some time ago, I got into a dispute about covenant marriage with my friend Stephen, who blogs at The Last Delta-T.  I'm defending my position in a series of posts, both because I have problems with a subset of anti-marriage rhetoric that is sometimes used by people on the left (particularly my friends!) and because I think my views on marriage are a decent intro to some of my virtue ethics beliefs generally. What We Talk About When We Talk About Marriage - an intro to our … [Read more...]