More Reasons to Encourage Casual Dating

This happens in geek circles every so often. The "Hey, this is just a system I can figure out easily!" is also a problem among engineers first diving into the stock market.

Ben Conroy (who recently joined the Patheos Catholic channel at Shadows on the Road) has another critique to throw at Nice Guy Syndrome.  In "'Nice Guys' -- How Deep is Your Love?" Conroy writes: I sometimes wonder if these Nice Guys are actually in love at all. What about the specific woman actually stole their heart? And why would whatever that is vanish because she’s not romantically interested in them?[...][W]hen we’re dealing with an “ineffable spark” but you don’t really appreciate … [Read more...]

Endless War without a Proving Peace

Still from Restless Heart, the Augustine biopic

My parish here in DC is very lucky because, now that the summer's over, we get to have Adult Sunday School after the 9am Mass with two of the Dominican friars from the House of Studies.  The new semester started this past Sunday, and the first topic was just war theory.  The Dominican who presented melded encyclicals, excerpts from the Catechism, Ecclesiastes, as well as the writings of Aquinas and Augustine.  He cited this passage from chapter 12 of my patron saint's City of God: Whoever gives … [Read more...]

Til we’ve all of us been burned a bit, and burnished by the Son [Pope Francis Bookclub]


In 2014, I’m reading and blogging through Pope Francis/Cardinal Bergoglio’s Open Mind, Faithful Heart: Reflections on Following Jesus.  Every Monday, I’ll be writing about the next meditation in the book, so you’re welcome to peruse them all and/or read along.At the beginning of this week's chapter, Pope Francis refers to a theologian who argues that prayer exists because we are imperfect and separated from God.  If we weren't sundered by sin, there would be no need to ask for objects or … [Read more...]

Going Beyond Commandments of No to Vocations of Yes

10 commandments dice

I had the privilege of being the lector for the second reading at Mass today, which is from the Letter to the Romans: Brothers and sisters: Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet, ” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love do … [Read more...]

Friendzones and Fairness

finish line

When people talk about Nice Guy problems and friendzone problems (both on the internet and in my immediate environment), the conversations sometimes sound really similar to the kinds of things I would have heard on College Confidential or in a set of job interviewing tips.People are talking in terms of tricks they've learned from others, discussing what actually goes on inside the decision-making black box, and laying out a sequence of moves that are likely to succeed.  The unspoken … [Read more...]

7QT: Reasonable Answers to Patently Crazy Questions

costume progress

--- 1 --- My copy of Randall Munroe's What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions just arrived today, and I'm really looking forward to starting it tomorrow.  (I have an even more awesome book to finish first).  My appetite has certainly been whetted by the interview Munroe did with FiveThirtyEight:Walt Hickey: A whole set of “What Ifs?” touch on what it would be like to go to or return from space. The Curiosity rover also appears to be a recurring figure. How did yo … [Read more...]

Nice Guys and Failed Tries


ETA: Given the topic of the post and the tenor of some of the comments so far, just want to remind all y'all that the best use of your commenting time/energy tends to be responding to people when you have a unique insight to offer/question to ask, rather than letting the most inflammatory posts jump to the front of your attentional queue. SlateStarCodex's recent post ("Radicalizing the Romanceless") touches on a lot of issues surrounding the "Nice Guy" syndrome (which usually … [Read more...]