Leah’s Handy Guide to Not Letting Eros Destroy Philia

This post is part of a debate on gay marriage.  I'm responding to Matt's post on gay marriage and deep friendship, and this is the last part of my three-part rebuttal.Matt and Esolen’s idea that sexual tension poisons relationships has pretty high stakes for me. As a bi girl, I am technically never not around people to whom I could conceivably be sexually attracted. And as an out bi girl, I’m around people who know that I know that they know that I am not categorically opposed to having s … [Read more...]

When Men Treat Men Like Men Treat Women

This post is part of a debate on gay marriage.  I'm responding to Matt's post on gay marriage and deep friendship, and this is the second part of my three-part rebuttal.Matt is worried that acknowledgement of same-sex attraction will warp intense same-sex friendships, even in a world where homosexuality isn’t stigmatized. He’s probably right that it will change guy-guy dynamics, so I’d like to talk a bit about why men have been able to isolate themselves from this danger in the past. … [Read more...]

Weighing the Consequences of Gay Marriage

This post is part of a debate on gay marriage.  I'm responding to Matt's post on gay marriage and deep friendship, and this is the first part of my three-part rebuttal.  Thanks again to Matt for taking on this debate. The second part of his argument will run tomorrow. Thanks also to the mostly respectful and mostly constructive commentariat.One reason I like arguing with conservatives is because even if I don't end up agreeing with them, they tend to be good at pointing out the cost of w … [Read more...]

Gay Marriage and Male Friendship

This is a guest post for a debate on the consequences of gay marriage.  The opinions expressed below are fairly obviously not my own.  Oh, but I did do the pictures.This week at Yale an undergraduate organization known as Undergraduates for a Better Yale College is hosting Professor Anthony Esolen of Providence College. Picking up on one series of blog posts he wrote critical of gay marriage, the Yale community has begun to express outrage. A campus publication calls his work “vitriolic a … [Read more...]

Debating Gay Marriage [Index Post]

There's a controversy brewing at my alma mater.  As the kickoff to True Love Week (meant to contrast with the concurrently running Sex Week at Yale), organizers invited Professor Anthony Esolen of Providence College to speak on "The Person as a Gift."  A few days before the keynote, IvyGate publicized Esolen's fervent writings about the destructive power of gay marriage.  Activists on campus organized a kiss-in and then marched out of Esolen's talk.I disapprove of demonstrations that inter … [Read more...]

A (non-authoritative) post on Transgender Issues

There was a request in the comments that I do a post on Transgender issues in the same way I did a post on bisexuality for National Coming Out Day (which was followed by bisexuality Q&A and a post on queer political tactics).  I thought those posts prompted some pretty helpful discussion, so I'm glad to set up another opportunity to go over the basics, but this time I have to tag on some major caveats:I'm not trans (well, except transhumanist), so I'm not speaking from a place of … [Read more...]

Why be out as bisexual?


This is a follow-up to my post on National Coming Out Day and the subsequent Bisexuality Q&A.Several comments asked why I thought it was necessary to be out as a bisexual if I'm currently dating a guy.  After all, I admit that although bisexuality is part of my identity, it's certainly not the most important thing to know about me (that identifier is: giant geek).  And isn't it all kinda moot if I'm not currently single?Let me run through the reasons I make a point of being out:I … [Read more...]