Here’s a creative way to get Jehovah’s Witnesses to leave you alone forever. I’m not fond of lying, and it’s oh so fun to run logical circles around them, but it’s interesting nevertheless. I wonder if it really works.
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Personally I have adopted the strategy of letting them tell you about the wonders of spiritual experience, telling them you’ve felt a similar stirring, and then telling them all about your conversion to Amway.
I don’t have the time or the energy to try to tell them politely I’m not interested. I haven’t had JWs at the door in a long time, but have always wanted to try answering the door naked, with a cat in one hand, a butcher knife in the other, and say “Oh good! You’re just in time for the sacrifice!”
My favorite thing to do is to ask them:
“So, you believe that only 144,000 people are going to heaven?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, so aren’t you statistically lowering your chances of getting in by evangelizing?”
(Head asplodes.)
My experience in Spain is that when they start to offer you their magazines, in Spain ( Atalaya or Despertad) is saying: “Oh, so you’re a JW? I already know them and I’m not interested at all. “and they leave you in peace either in the street or home. One day a man told me that I was missing God’s words. My reply was “YOUR god’s words” and they simply disappeared!
Yeah, it’s rather amusing that only 144,000 people are going to heaven while there are several million JW members. However, the 144,000 are the ones supposed to rule in heaven along with Jesus while all the rest will dwell on earth, which will also be a paradise after the apocalypse.
So all JWs are going to live in paradise, it’s just that some of them get VIP seats.
I heard the JW HQ issued a proclamation in the 1930′s that heaven was now filled up. I don’t know if it’s true.
PS: Does anyone else get a 404 on the link?
@trj: Link still works for me.
I did a podcast on the subject (http://tiny.cc/21LPr). It gives an elaborate way of getting the best of them taking their own bible out of their hands and reading it back to them.
A quicker method is to tell them that living forever in a world populated only by Jehovah’s Witnesses would be the most awful hell ever. They won’t have a comeback for that.
Another great way to accomplish this without lying (in fact, it’s probably the ultimate form of truth-telling.)
Answer the door with a big smile and no clothes on.
About the 145 000 in heaven. New doctrine was invented ‘other sheep’ which lets all JW into heaven.
JW is known for periodically rewrite their prophecy books with a new end of the world date and then pretend the older books don’t exist. First ‘world ending’ was in 1914.
An ex JW talks about JW’s history on Minnesota Atheists (29 minutes).
video google com/videoplay?docid=-8991441546065490253
add dots above obviously.
Google (video) clues if it doesn’t work:
“Minnesota Atheists”
“Cults, Part 2″
“George Kane” “Grant Steves”
Well worth listening to if interested in the JW’s history.
Simply tell them that you will gladly sit down and talk with them when they start turning in their pedophile members to the police. Advise them that they are all protectors of child molesters. Humiliate them with this fact and watch the cowards run like scalded dogs.
Im a Jehovah witness and I actually didn’t like them before I got into the truth.im only seventeen & was having a bad life til Jehovah witnesses came to my door for like the fifth time so I decided to give them a chance and now I just am so grateful they kept knocking on my door because being in the rift religion and actually understanding it is the best present I’ve ever got.give it a chance all of you.
“.im only seventeen & was having a bad life til Jehovah witnesses came to my door”
Enough said. Religion: Picking on naive, inexperienced people when they’re at their weakest.
I remember them coming around when I was about 15 or 16, and I had a really fun conversation with them. My parents weren’t home, so I just sort of listened to them and questioned the things they told me in a sarcastic way, and then my parents drove up the street, and then drove past, went around the block to avoid talking to them.
I could tell then their pitch when greeted at the door by a 16 year-old girl was different than probably normal. I think most religions must have some appeal to all age groups and whatever alienates you or appeals to you. Mine at the time was “world peace,” and they promised it to me, and the whole time, I’m putting them on. I can’t remember how I got them to leave so my parents could come home.
i did for 15 years of my life an i ended up in foster care caz of the things my mother an father were doing to me that the “kingdom hall” said was ok to do to children! now you tell me how that is + thing in life to call ur self a JW?
144 thousand are going to to heaven and the rest of Jehovah’s witnesses are going to Paradise. Learn your fact before you speak. Go read the Bible so you can get your facts straight.
> “Go read the Bible so you can get your facts straight.”
Yes, if only people would read the Bible, then they’d all agree on the facts it contains.
This is a truth.
The bible is a book of fairy tales and stories why would anyone take it for fact? You seriously believe in a talking snake, come on.
where in the bible it says that #? NO WHERE!
go read revelations 7:1-8 and rev.14:1-5…..cuz apparently u dont read the bible…cuz IT DOES SAY THAT NUMBER!!!!!!!!
The Bible does not have anything to do with this belief system.
A thousand times gross.
They come to my door every Sunday. It’s annoying. It’s like they think if they check back enough times I’ll give in. I just joined the Catholic church a year ago because of my beliefs. I respect their right to have theirs, but not to try to force my to change mine. I’m thinking about answering the door naked and inviting them in from now on. Mind you, I’d only open the door a crack and explain I was naked, then ask them if they wanted to come in anyway. This way to talk to me they’d have to agree to sit across from my naked self while they try to convince me I need their church. lol.
Festival of life by Kevin bloody Wilson.
ok i was a jw till i was 15 years old an then placed in foster care… when they come to ur door just tell em u were disfelowshiped an they will never be back for they are not to talk to u!
i’ve never head such a spew of untruths and hatred. Custador has what he/she thinks are “witty” one-liners – but obviously has no clue about anything.
Why would you treat ANYONE that comes to your door this way, particularly Jehovah’s Witnesses. They come to your door out of love and concern for YOU and they do it on their own time. While you are sitting in your house watching TV they are out on their own time trying to spread the word of the Bible (which they are instructed to do in the Bible). Do you think they think this FUN you idiots. But yet they do it out of compassion for you. Lets see you muster up the guts to go knock on a strangers door for ANYTHING let alone to talk about religion and bible truths. I have a suggestion for you all – if you’re not interested how about you just open the door and try to at least pretend you are a human and be polite and just say your’re not interested!
Every single one of you should be ashamed of yourself. If you don’t want them at your door, simply tell them you have your own beliefs and you would rather they not come to your door again. They will put you on their “do not return” list and you’ll never hear or see from them again.
“i’ve never head such a spew of untruths and hatred.”
You should try reading the Bible …
I thought I could politely tell them I was not interested. They have been back several times now, and I have politely told them not to return. I don’t mind them coming by once. But after I say I’m not interested, why won’t they leave me alone? If they were soooo concerned about me, then they would leave me alone so I can take care of my kids.
Interesting. Saturday the 20th, I was expecting a tech from Verizon to call on me between 1 and 4 pm. At 10:30, the bell rang, and I was all, no way, they can’t pull shlt like that on me. Instead of buzzing him in, I went downstairs to open the door and I see two older ladies dressed really nice in the lobby. Well, without asking them, I know what they want. I said, “What do you want?” They said, uh are you… uh, apartment (# of next door), and I said “NO!” and started to go back upstairs, and then I said, “are you here for anyone specific, because you’d know who you were here to see, you’d know if I were the person you came to see.” Then one of them, you know she didn’t want to say it before I let her in, she said “we’re Jehovah’s Witnesses” and I said, “Get! Out!. Go away, do you not see on the door it says ‘No soliciting’? Go away before I call the police.”
So they did.
I have heard them get in the building before, but they never seem to knock on my door or slip me any materials. I don’t really like how they think they can sneak in by ringing random buzzers and hoping for someone not to care if they let people in whom they’re not expecting. I think anyone can get rid of them by threatening to call the police. If they won’t leave when you ask them to, they’re trespassing.
Holy shit man, just tell them to leave, don’t scream at them.
I shudder to think of what you do to girl scouts.
Seriously? They rang my buzzer, and they lied about why they were trying to break into my building.
I knew a guy who asked them to come back in half an hour, and when they did he answered the door with a mouth full of fake blood and pretended to chomp down on his daughter’s pet rabbit (which was obviously wriggling and struggling as he pretended to bite it and let fake blood run all down it). Apparently they literally ran away and never came back. I love the idea that he might have broken their brains :-)
ROFL!
In my case, they would have just rang random buzzers until someone let them in, if someone came home or was leaving at the right time, they would just waltz right in the building. To me, that’s good enough to yell at them to leave. If they had gotten in, I could tell them to leave my door, but I don’t think I could move them toward the main exit.
Another thing to consider is Girl Scouts sell cookies and don’t lie to get in the building. Since we don’t have a lot of children living in my neighborhood, I don’t think there are any girl scouts – perhaps there are relatives of a girl scout living here, but not crummy enough people to go knocking door-to-door, people here keep to themselves and I like it. Certainly I am fortunate not to get trick-or-treaters also. But I would not be mean to them. I don’t see the comparison between people who take no for an answer and people who don’t.
Why do you think they “don’t take know for an answer?” They just buzzed your door. I fail to see how this is any different from ringing a doorbell.
Nor do I see why going door-to-door is “crummy.” Jehovah’s witnesses have some pretty sleazy tactics, but that isn’t one of them.
And as far as I can tell, they do not in general come back to houses they have already hit. That wouldn’t make any sense.
Also, according to your story, they weren’t trying to break into the building nor did they lie.
I don’t get this at all.
They were buzzing random apartments until someone let them in so they could knock on everyone’s door. That door is locked so people can’t do that. There’s a prominent sign before they enter the lobby that says “NO SOLICITING” and “No Trespassing: Police Take Notice”. Trying to get in through a locked door where one is not invited or expected is called “breaking in.” I fail to see why you thought I should be more patient with them. They weren’t Girl Scouts, obviously! They were two older ladies who did not want to tell me what their business in the building was until I shook them.
Breaking in would be like kicking the door in or smashing a window. Hoping somebody opens the door for you is just impolite.
Michael, while I agree with you on the larger issue of politeness, when it comes to breaking in, does it really matter whether the method used was deception rather than physical force? Trespass is more about the violation of the privacy of one’s property, and not any incidental damage that might be incurred in the attempt.
Except they never once lied. When he asked them what they wanted they said they were Jehovah’s Witnesses. I don’t really see how they were “dishonest.”
Deception doesn’t require a lie. In the presence of a policy of no solicitation, a person who attempts to solicit by cold-ringing doorbells until someone accedes to let them enter (by not caring enough to check their intentions). It’s not a lie in the classic sense, but it is action under false pretenses. The dispositive clue here is that they would not admit their purpose until repeatedly pressed, hoping that they would gain entrance without revealing it.
Thanks for putting what I was thinking into words ‘nope. I’m going to save this quote.
Wow, how did I miss this. They’re idiots for doing it. Nobody real asked them to do anything. If they think they are saving anyone with their trouble, they are radically impaired in the head. They are pests, treat them like pests.
“Why would you treat ANYONE that comes to your door this way, particularly Jehovah’s Witnesses. They come to your door out of love and concern for YOU…”
They come in the exact same way a Vacuum Cleaner sales man comes out of concern for my well being. At least the vacuum is real though.
Lets see you muster up the guts to go knock on a strangers door for ANYTHING let alone to talk about religion and bible truths.
Why would I go and waste the time of somebody I don’t know with my opinion about the buybull when they clearly didn’t ask for it. And if you think the people here are rude to JW, what kind of reaction you think I would get if I knocked on a christian door and told them I came to tell them the good news that jeebus is a myth and there is no hell?
They will say you are strident and shrill and tell you to keep your devil thoughts to yourself. I’m not really in favor of this tactic, but I would be curious whether someone might have done this for an experiment or a movie project or something, and what results they had.
Everything has already happened on de internez :p
http://thinking-critically.com/2010/07/18/door-to-door-atheists-bother-mormons/
Ashamed of ourselves? I have only met one JW that hasn’t tried to convert me. Granted everybody’s a human being. I have a JW that bothers me at the bus stop, and she knows me well enough to inquire how my dog is doing. I have told her I am not interested in converting several times. Quite frankly your “Watchtower” insults me.
For example, I borrowed this month’s magazine from that friend who doesn’t try and convert me, the one about the Occult, and much of the information is wrong. They talk about how Pagans charged money for healing. At the time that they were talking about the pagans charged money so they could live. I serve food, and I get paid for it, for a living, does that make me a sinner? Oh God I need to go create a prayer right now. They did not “worship a devil” most cures that pagans had were of herbal mixtures, not deals with the devil. On another note, oh wow I use an oven!! Again I shall go into prayer. Or how about how “Christmas is just a way to spend money.” Christmas is a time to spend with your family. I buy my family presents because I enjoy it. not because faith tells me I need to buy somebody a present to make them happy. I enjoy spending time with my dad cooking ham, and giving him his First Season Start Trek in Blu-ray. Also if I have a child, I am going to celebrate their birthday!
You talk about how we should be ashamed of ourselves for wanting them to not bother us. Yet JW keep on coming. Due to this we do need inventive ways to get them to avoid us. For example I had a friend who was a Satanist. She drew a Satanic Pentagram on her hand, and, like Richard Ramirez did to the television, said ‘hail Satan.’ Perhaps you should stop bothering those people that say “They just aren’t interested,” and we wouldn’t have to come up with these ridiculous ideas.
Who asked them to have concern for me?! Nobody asked them to persistently harass us on our doorsteps! They can believe whatever they like but what the hell gives them the right to force it upon others?! The Bible is full of ludicrous fairy stories so I do not accept that the Bible tells them to do this. I used to believe in God as a child but then I grew up & realised that every single prayer had not been heard as there is no one there to hear them. I am now an atheist. How would the JW’s like it if I started knocking on their doors trying to get them to follow my belief system?! They would not & nor should they. Everyone has the right to believe what they want & not have other faiths forced upon them.
If only religion were not destroying the world with its false ideals then it would not be so offensive for them to visit. Religion is a form of control for the weak minded and if there were a god, he would be disgusted at the way his name is used to control the masses. Religion does nothing but destroy creativity in the name of faith and it is an insult!
Bg you have no clue. Zero. All of us have told them not to bother us any more. Not only do they not listen, they try to give you pamphlets, and then try to talk to you about their religion however they can. Private homes are just that: private. If I wanted Jehovia’s Witnesses to come by, or Mormons for that matter, I would invite them. Since I don’t, I think it’s pretty rude that they show up on a Sunday morning and ring the bell until you answer.
They know we know who’s at the door. They will keep ringing the bell till you open the door. I have my own beliefs. I could care less what they believe. Good for them, but their right to their faith should not infringe on my right to privacy.
… but they are religous and ONLY do it for your own GOOD. how dare u get annoyed at being woken up BY a bunch of people wearing cheap suits bringing the word of the LORD to YOU?
lol, right? I think they need a better strategy. Maybe ask their friend Ben Franklin if he can come in, then maybe I’ll listen.
Fundie Auto-Translate Bot Engaged
WAAAH! WAAAAH! WAAAAAH! SOMEBODY WAS MEAN ABOUT MAH DELOOOSHUNS ON TEH INTERNETZ! WAAAAH!
-Custador
Not sure if serious….
http://media.photobucket.com/image/not+sure+if+serious+/jtward42/not-sure-if-serious.jpg
Sorry CJ, but the rant you replied to was never going to stay on the site unedited :p
Felt Poe~ish to me, the ironic statements just seemed to line up too perfectly to be genuine, hence my image link.
Seriously, Custy, I think you’re overdoing the censorship. There was nothing offensive in that post, except for a minor rant about how mean we all are – hardly banning material. Plus, by removing the inanity and stupidity you’re robbing us of a chance to get snarky.
Better to just let the stupidity stay in the open for everyone to see. More effective, and more entertaining as well.
To be honest, in this case I would have done if it wasn’t for the last little tag on the end where she called us “pricks”. That’s where I drew the line. But for that, I was just going to ridicule her a bit :-p
Yeah, I forgot about that. But come on, many of the regular posters routinely call Christians idiots or worse.
I suppose it’s your prerogative to censor – or more correctly Daniel’s – but I think you’re doing it way more than what is necessary.
Feedback accepted, dude.
You seem to be forgetting the JW’s have a self-interest in this. Proselytizing is their ticket to heaven.
“They waste their free time, to preach to you, about something that COULD be important…”
They waste their free time, they don’t have the right to actively waste our free time unless we choose to waste ours with them. And that’s just it, “COULD be important,” that’s not a definite, that’s a maybe without any better evidence than “I want it to be therefore it is.”
“…THEY DO HAVE LIVES JUST AS WELL AS YOU DO” .
That argument only works if we have previously asked them to preach to us, which we haven’t. Therefore we aren’t wasting their time, they are simply wasting their time own out of their own accord. See the first paragraph for more on this topic…
Yes we are thinking up excuses to say to them; we didn’t ask them to come nor do we want their interruption with our lives– it is an annoyance. If we have to deal with this, then we might as well make it amusing and possibly concise. See the first two paragraphs, they are wasting our time.
“Your not only offending JW but God himself, and trust, what goes around comes back around.”
Sigh, you already stated that this “COULD be important.” You aren’t certain at all, it’s merely a possibility for which you haven’t got reliable proof. If you did have reliable proof, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. So no, if we are correct, and your god doesn’t exist, we aren’t offending god; we’re offending some people who are wasting their time by annoying us.
:) Good day. Prick.
Oh have some manners..
You don’t like them wasting your time, but you waste your time creating posts like this against their beliefs, get a life dude. And by deleting my comment, you only made yourself look stupid and not even trying to fight back to what I said. I’m only 16, all of you grown up ladies and gents are much older. But it still seems like I’m far more intelligent than all of you put together. ;) I really wish to see your faces when what JW ‘waste their time’ to preach about’s outcome will be true. I beg you remember this conversation. And use Your brains. At least find out more about what you chat so much shit about, then digest it through your small heads, and then have the guts to post a polite comment back.
Good day, Pricks. ;)
If you want people to be sympathetic to you and your JW companions, gloating over others going to hell is perhaps not the best way to achieve it.
Like I said, try and find out more about them before judging them with your small head. Let someone else do that for you.
Btw.. JW do not believe in hell hun ;)
You don’t like them wasting your time, but you waste your time creating posts like this against their beliefs…
The pertinent difference is that my time is mine to waste, whereas you have much less claim to it. Personally I don’t mind when people ask for my time, and I’m always game to talk religion, but many people are not. Ultimately, it is rude to presume upon people’s hospitality.
Oh have some manners…
Says the person who habitually calls people “pricks”.
I take it I no longer have to justify deleting this obnoxious little twat-bag’s last post? Jolly good.
I say delete away!
Her last
babbling inanitypost was much of the same, and I did. However, I am trying to be less enthusiastic with the censorship – thinking happy thoughts and ruthlessly mocking instead, you know.Idiots who are 16 and internet brag about their supposed “maturity” make me stabby. Little pishers like that have just learned how not to drool all over everything–what the frak makes them think they know anything about anything?
Well, most teenagers go through a phase of feeling like they know it all. Hell, I did. Now I look back and wish I knew the things I thought I did. Hey ho.
16, eh? I’d suggest you devote yourself to learning just a wee bit more before you attempt to school grown-ups. Your own asserted “maturity” isn’t belied by your habitual use of the term “pricks,” little one.
Correction: I should have said, “Your own asserted ‘maturity’ is belied by your habitual use of the term ‘pricks’…”
Aga from the bottom of my heart I hope you develop a clotting disorder and accidentally get a limb chopped off. You know, to put your
bullshitfaith to the test.Might I remind you that you have to active come to this website to post on it? If we’re not worth reading then…why do you come here?
I’m sorry but Aga is just trolling now, and she’s not even entertaining with it. It’s just a string of bad language and stupid insults – Marked as spam.
Said a mature person.
If the “outcome will be true”, I wonder why JW’s no longer preach that Jesus is going to come back in 1975.
Or that black people aren’t allowed in to heaven? Funny how that got altered by divine revelation just before the law would have forced it…
Once again. JW do not believe in heaven or hell.
If they don’t believe in Hell, then why do they give us pamphlets against the scaaaarrryy Occult.
And like i said once again, don’t ask me questions because to you i’m nobody you should listen to, Find out yourself. Then come back and comment. We do not give you pamphlets against the scaaaarrryyy occult. Maybe if you actually fancied reading and gaining information. It’d be easier for you think of better questions.
Years ago, I had the stereo cranked to the max and was shaking the walls of the house with some ‘satan’ rock by someone like Rob Zombie, or Ozzie, I wish I could remember, (I didn’t live near enough to anyone to offend) anyway, I looked out my window and saw a car in the driveway. By the time I got the music turned down and got to the door, the JW people were actually running back to their car and hauled ass never to be seen from again.
They didn’t even leave any of those fine pamphlets for me. : (
So, I have inadvertently found that house-shaking ‘satan’ rock is one way to get rid of them.
I guess our musical tastes differed.
LUCKYYY!!! THEY JUST DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE!!
I had Disturbed on high blast just last Monday, and the meanie still came. :( They annoy me beyond belief.
Or maybe beyond reason.
They WILL NOT leave you alone for any reason! No matter what you say to them they WILL keep coming back. JW is a cult!
They do not believe in the Trinity..God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as one. They actually believe that Jesus is the reincarnation of Michael the Archangel. The Trinity is the whole basis of Christianity! They have twisted the Bible to read what they believe and they do not study the actual Bible. They are only allowed to study what the Watch Tower Society allows them to see.
They came to my house for over 10 years at least twice a week. After about 5 years i started to get angry and tell them to never come back, put me on your do not call list, and I am not interested. NOTHING WORKED until I made this sign:
Jehovah Witnesses
No Trespassing
Violators will be prosecuted
Per Property Owner
I have not had one come to the door in over a year now. If I do get one to the door, I have a security camera pointing at my door and I will take them to Civil Court and prosecute to the fullest. I have a heart condition and if I get upset, I end up in the hospital. That would cost that cult a pretty penny!
Say what you want to them and don’t regret anything, they are pushy creeps that will do anything to force you into their cult. They are taught that if they get someone angry at the door, they are confronting the Devil himself and then they are proud of it and they gloat to each other.
As for the 144,000 people that will be in heaven, Revelation 7:4 gives us the number of 144,000. But the 144K have to be male and have to be Jewish. They also must be untouched by woman…meaning virgins. The JW’s have twisted this to only involve them. That is the true meaning of a CULT, Changing the Bible and the meaning of the Bible.
One wicked JW came to my elderly Mothers door and was banging on it profusely. My Mom thought there was a problem and asked, “who is it?” “It’s Karen”, she said as if My Mom should know her personally. Mom opened the door and she would not answer the question when my Mom asked if she was a JW. Then she tried to hand a STUPID watchtower magazine to her. Now my 82 year old Mother only answers the bathroom window that opens to the front porch. One smart arse told her, “thank you for answering your window”. Just a bunch of CC’s, Cult Creeps!
Again, the sign I made works great and I am thinking of making a bunch of them in plastic and selling them. Bet they would sell out!
So…. Why is your cult better than their cult again?
“They have twisted the Bible to read what they believe and they do not study the actual Bible. ”
Every religion does this.
Congratz on the signage though!
How come they can’t vote or serve on jury duty?
I’ve just had them round here and I just told them to go away. I can’t be bothered shouting at them, threatening them etc. for the simple reason that they’re mentally ill and are deserving of sympathy and medication as much as anything else.
It’s the leadership of this disgusting cult that I blame, not the pitiful mental incompetents that they send door-to-door droning on about the good news that’s in the bible. But then, isn’t that the problem with all religions? The only reason they exist is to control people and get them to do your bidding. Bollocks to the lot of them.
talking about them makes them feel and look important. We should not talk about them because they are not important at all.
This forum makes me giggle.
I live in New York and receive about three visits a week. I simply say no, not interested. This past week I opened my door after seeing a short womans hair in the peephole. I assumed she was another JW. she was a deranged woman who stuck a stick in trying to hurt me. It was obvious that she had the wrong apartment as there are over 600 apartments in this complex. It did remind me though, that you must never open your door readily to anyone. They now come in threes, and always with a child. I have started to videotape them and intend to post them on Youtube.