Hemant at Friendly Atheist has a post about one of his readers, an atheist working for a Christian university:
He has been working at a Christian university for several years, but during his time there, he became an atheist.
This is a problem for several reasons.
For one, he signed a “faith statement” when he accepted the job. If his bosses found out about his atheism, he’d be out of a job. As it stands, though, he plays an “influential role” in the organization. He agrees with many of the things the organization does, but not the “doctrine and dogma which drive it.”
Also, his wife doesn’t know.
I was surprised when I read this, as I’ve been in that exact situation before.
It makes me wonder how many other people have been in this situation. Perhaps it is more common than I thought!
It’s uncomfortable knowing that everyone thinks you believe one thing, when you actually believe another — and worse, if they knew what you believed, they would fire you and probably stop talking to you.
At first, I struggled with guilt knowing that I didn’t believe what they expected me to believe. I felt like a fraud, especially when asked to pray.
Then I began to rationalize. I wasn’t actually praying, but was simply “leading others” in prayer. It didn’t mean anything to me, but it meant something to them so I’d do it. I loved my job, did it well, and enjoyed my co-workers — did it really matter what my personal beliefs were? And all my contacts were in the Christian sector, so finding a new job would be difficult. As long as I could stomach the ridiculous rhetoric, I decided to keep working for them.
During that time, I started this blog so I could say things I wasn’t allowed to say. The blog took off quicker than expected and I began living a double life — furthering Christianity through my day job, and tearing it down at night with my blog. It was crazy. I don’t recommend it.
Eventually I decided to find a different job where I could be myself without fear of reprisal. I should have done it sooner, as it’s better to get it over with.
So what do you think the guy should do? Fess up and get fired? Keep working like nothing is wrong? Try and find another job ASAP then quit?
Personally, I’d suggest finding a new job as soon as possible, though that’s hard — especially in this economy.
I guess I’m a little fuzzy on labor laws. How do these Christian universities or businesses get away with discriminating against someone on the basis of religion? Is it because they are private? I didn’t think that should make a difference. Most small businesses are privately owned, but can’t get away with that.
Man, can I relate to this!
My story is that I’m a writer in the marketing department of one of the biggest insurance companies in the country. One of my main jobs is to promote the wonders of so-called “consumer-driven” health care.
But, because I have spent almost 25 years in this business, it’s painfully obvious to me that consumer-driven health is a complete fraud. In fact it is little more than a thinly disguised rationale for transferring the risk — and costs — of getting sick from insurers onto the backs of ordinary people.
I would love to find other work. In fact, I even went back to grad school and got my Librarian’s degree in order to do just that. Sure the pay would suck, but at least I could hold my head up in public, right?
Here’s the twist. During this whole process of my coming to this realization, and then going back to school at night for the new degree, my wife became totally disabled. So now she can’t work at all. She’s on Social Security, but believe me, it’s a pittance. We are screwed without that second income.
So now I have come to believe that my first duty is to maintain my family as best I can — even if it means serving a cause I find abhorrent. Given my length of experience in the industry, plus my tenure with this company, my current job is the one that allows me to maximize my income potential — and even at that I’ve had to take a second job a night to pay the bills.
My consolation, if anyone is interested, is to tell myself that educated men have served tyrants and bullies since time-out-of-mind. We’ve been called priests and mystics, shamen and magicians; astologers and alchemists. Now, it’s my turn.
I guess it would depend on his personality. I have friends who attend fundy churches and the related social gatherings, and while they aren’t atheists and maybe more like deists, they stick around mostly for the comraderie and tradition. They are good at compartmentalizing. I stink at compartmentalizing. So I had to cut ties to avoid the frentic feelings I would otherwise have had.
If he chooses to stay for awhile, he could try to build his social and job network outside of the school/church to make the ultimate transition easier. There is a whole other world outside of Christianity but when you have been living with tunnel vision I guess it’s hard to see it.
@cello: I was just thinking the same thing — it really does depend on personality type. I enjoy speaking my mind and tend to be honest to a fault. Thus living a double life doesn’t suit me, fun as it can be.
I guess some people can just shut up when people say stupid things. I have a hard time not saying something.
I totally understand this situation! I went to high school in the Bible belt. Before I was an Atheist, I was Wiccan. I went through a long, soul-searching period where I felt pretty alone. I was in a large dance team in my Texas high school, a team that had upheld the Southern tradition for fifty plus years. One of these traditions involved the saying of the Lord’s Prayer before a football game in a very showy manner.
The thing was, I enjoyed it. I prayed to my own gods when they prayed to theirs. I didn’t feel oppressed or left out. It was tradition to me, and I wanted to uphold it.
When I finally became open about my religion — and yes, I was the only girl out of 50 who was no longer Christian — and I explained to them that I had great respect for their beliefs, that I had held them for a long time, and that the traditions of the team were still traditions to me in spite of my belief system, I was met with (surprisingly) curiosity and openness from many of the other girls. Because I didn’t rail against their traditions and fight to change them, they were more willing to hear me out.
I’m not saying this works in most situations — however, it did open the door for me to give my side of things. But I understand what it’s like to be the odd bird out.
Were I in the unnamed atheist’s shoes, I’d find another job and make the jump ASAP, just as I would with any job I no longer found it possible to enjoy or do for any other reason.
@Steve:
Respect, man. A good and moral decision made of necessity is a good and moral decision. Persevere!
The Obama administration will need you shortly, I believe and hope.
I lay weeping late on a Saturday night because I could no longer support evangelical belief and had to get up in the morning and face my role as senior pastor of a pentecostal church. I rationalized going through the motions because there were people in the church who where in delicate to desperate emotional situations and they looked to me for strength. And since I was resigning I wouldn’t be around to ‘pick up the pieces’. So I went throught the motions–for about a month.
I look back now and believe I continued to play the role primarily out of fear for myself. My whole life was wrapped up in the church (all my friends, my income, my daily habits, etc.). I didn’t want to face all that change and oppositional force at once. I was afraid of being overwhelmed and undermanned for the challenges. I was scared.
If I had a do-over I would make a clean, public and open break. Financial hardships can be and are faced every day. Forthright movement toward the truth can speed up growth, healing and practical solutions.
But this is looking back from today’s strength. For those in these hypocritical situations I would suggest making a legitimate, workable plan with a real time line and then follow through. We pay a real price for dissimulation and so does everyone we influence.
“We pay a real price for dissimulation and so does everyone we influence.”
Well said!
I think he should probably ease out of it as best he can, without revealing why. Of course it’s impossible for us to know the situation, but I doubt that they would be understanding about his situation.
As for myself, I am imagining a very uncomfortable situation, and I would probably get out of it as fast as I could.
Leaving with great regret looks better on your resume than being fired for failing to maintain community spirit, or whatever excuse they come up with for firing people based on religion.
I always felt that my chemistry teacher was too cynical for a true-believer christian, when I was still studying at a christian school. I wonder now if he was in the same situation, with twins on the way and a wife who was having a difficult pregnancy…
I taught Catholic high school for four years, but the school was very accepting. I had checked ‘Christian-other’ on my job application, but no further requests about my beliefs were ever made, or assumed. I was, of course, to respect the position of the church and school at all times, which I gladly did, since they both did good work for the community. I never did admit I was atheist, but it wouldn’t have shocked anyone there. I think it was like that because the school is in a very diverse community and less than half of the student population was Catholic.
I tend to think that “compartmentalizing” is a bad–even if you’re good at it. It’s a coping mechanism for cognitive dissonance.
And although it’s painful to say this, the school does have a right to expect a certain belief structure from it’s employee if the employer’s product IS that belief structure (unless it receives government financing!)
He took an oath. He should stick to it and honor that oath, both for himself and for his employer. He would be living with a clear conscience if he comes clean with his employer. That is worth more than any paycheck.
If he doesn’t come clean, he is living a lie, like many Christians do.
Another option would be to come clean and tell his employer that he is actively seeking another job, and agree to keep his opinions to himself, and give them a 2-week notice, if they agree not to fire him in the meantime.
Unfortunately, there really aren’t any religious discrimination laws that protect atheists (there are laws that protect other religious groups, be we’re not exactly in good standing with the ACLU, for some reason), so my initial idea of using a law suit to keep his job probably wouldn’t work.
Also, it might sour the fruits of his labor, as he would become, to some degree, ostracized.
I should say that as someone who considers honesty, for the most part, virtuous, it is hard for me to hear that not telling his wife is an option. I think that obviously must be corrected.
As far as being honest in the work place, that’s a gut-based decision, though I would certainly encourage him to be honest, as I think it’s both healthier and better for his relationship with his coworkers and friends.
If they are his friends, they should remain his friends. If not, he should go find other people, because clearly, if the relationships were conditional on the basis of intangible beliefs, they were substantial to begin with.
I’m amazed that it’s legal to fire someone on the basis of their religious beliefs. Astonished, in fact. It seems to cut against the very concept of freedom of religion.
I _hope_ that’s just a US thing and us dudes in Oz aren’t subject to similar nonsense – but IANAL.
This is a very American situtation – here in Europe, if you get fired for religious reason (it sounds crazy just writing it) you can sue your employer’s ass and win hands down. But then again, I don’t think it’s legal here to force someone to sign for his religious views before getting a job. Ok maybe Europe isn’t the world superpower, but at least we have religious freedom.
I think it depends on what said guy values more:
If honesty or sincerity or personal (non)belief system, then find a new job. BTW, I’m not trying to sneak in some theist definition of atheism here – I just had a hard time wording it.
If being an effective leader and/or successful at his her job, stay and keep quiet.
If this is your intended question, I don’t think there’s an ethical/moral standard by which you can judge what should be done here. It really is a matter of values and whether sacrifice is worth it to uphold those values.
If I didn’t like the job or most of the people, I’m pretty sure I’d have a hard time staying quiet for a long time :)
The work issue is a problem. But really, as long as they are paying you for a service and are happy with the service you are providing, then I say play along while keeping your eyes open for new opportunities. When something opens up, just sorry, time to move on and change jobs.
The real issue is that wife does not know. It is unthinkable not to tell her. And how she takes the change will have a lot more effect on your future than where you are getting your pay check this week.
Something else to consider in this “debate” is how strong of a support network this guy has outside of his workplace. If nearly everyone in his social circle is a Christian, the workplace is just one part of an even larger issue of being honest about his non-belief. I worked at an evangelical church for 6 months after becoming an atheist, and it was the most anguishing time of life I’ve ever lived through–because my job was also my church and my social network. I had no close friends outside of it. I needed the money and couldn’t find another job. I also wanted to be honest w/ the people I cared about. Perhaps it’s a rationalization, but I don’t think I would have been psychologically strong enough to handle losing my friends and being unemployed. When I did find a new job, it helped me feel free to be honest about my atheism.
Ultimately, I think the guy will just “know” (not in any religious sense, of course!) when he’s reached the breaking point: the pain of staying at the job will outweigh the potential pain of being unemployed/reducing his income/etc. Isn’t that what prompts many life changes?????
One thing to consider is that if he tells people about his feelings, he’s going to be inundated with tracts and advice about dealing with doubt and support to help him maintain his christian faith…
that alone could drive him nuts.
Be honest, then sue them into oblivion when they fire him – he has a legal right to be treated equally, so his “faith statement” is a breach of his rights.
This is certainly a tough one. When I left the Christian faith, it was a slow process. It was difficult because I had no support outside of the Christian realm. I started from scratch, leaving everything and everyone behind.
I agree that personality has a lot to do with it. If I didn’t have the kind of personality that “goes with the flow”, it would have been even more difficult.
As for the wife not knowing, well, even today my ex-husband (a youth pastor) says that I’m a Christian but I just don’t know it…..although I have to admit, I’m a better “Christian” than I ever was when I really was a Christian. Now that I’m free from judging others I can truly accept who they are.
I would think it would be tough to not be yourself, and, eventually, this person would reach a breaking point. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be in a negative way while on the job….
If there is one time in life not to procrastinate then this is it. Living with a deep dicotomy between what you believe and how you act wastes valuable time. This is the only life we have.
The main reason for not taking action is fear. People have articulated this a number of times in above posts. It’s why I took way to long to get into a healthy place. New jobs can be found. New friends can be made. New coherent causes can be joined. If you find yourself in this kind of situation please create an escape plan and stick to it. Starting with securing a non-hypocritical source of income is probably best. Come out to your family and friends sooner rather than later. Get to a clean break point as quickly as possible (within reason of course). It’s good for you and the people you love.
How easy to substitute the word “gay” for “athiest” and empathize with what someone must sometimes face in this life. Switch out the setting of a Christian university for the military and it’s even easier to comprehend how difficult it must be to keep one’s sense of respect intact.
Guys…. Come to Europe. Seriously. You know how in the states, people are a bit distrusting of people who are openly atheist? Well, here (in Britain in my case), atheism is the default state of being. Most of us actually view people with a degree of suspicion if they are overtly and enthusiastically religious. There’s kind of an “Oh, it’s you again, you bunch of Christian / Muslim / Jewish / Hindu / Sikh [delete as applicable] attention-seeking troublemakers. What do you want? No, you CAN’T build a flamin’ church / mosque / temple [delete as applicable] in the middle of that park! Bugger off!”
*mindset.
“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
I think the Bard of Stratford says it best. It is miserable to live a lie.
I’d recommend the route of finding a new job before getting fired. The issue with his wife not knowing is a bigger concern, I’d imagine.
What Dwight Said.
And Custador … what you’re saying sounds wonderful. Does Brittain allow US Expatriots in?
1) Find new job
2) Get new cool friends
3) Ditch drone wife for hot strippers
4) PROFIT!
Problem solved!
@ Jim: With open arms :D
Um, not to kill your buzz, Dwight, and I sympathize with the spirit in which that quote was intended, but Shakespeare put those words into the mouth of Polonius, a poltroon and hypocrite, precisely because they’re false.
George W. Bush was to his own self true. Above all. So were Quisling and Benedict Arnold.
>Shakespeare put those words into the mouth of Polonius, a poltroon and hypocrite, precisely because they’re false<
Is this true? Weren’t characters in the play colored gray, rather than just black and white? What about, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be?” Ideally, that would be the way to go, wouldn’t it, and those words were also spoken by Polonius. If only we could live by that, that $750,000,000,000 might not have been necessary.
While the quote is often used in the spirit in which Dwight intended, its real meaning, and the meaning in which Shakespeare intended it to be taken in the play, is precisely the opposite.
From the Wikipedia entry:
So he’s either a false fool or simply false.