Here’s an admonition by a Muslim cleric for your Valentine’s Day edification:
That’s right, folks. This guy actually thinks Valentine’s Day is more dangerous than AIDS, ebola, and cholera! Best quote:
The more you celebrate Valentine’s Day, the more the Jews and Christians are happy, and the more the Prophet Muhammad is sad.
The more you do this, the more the Jews and Christians gloat over us, while tears flow from the Prophet’s eyes.
That reminds me of the manipulative tactic used by some fundamentalists about making Jesus sad: “Every time you sin you make Jesus very, very sad. He cries every time you masturbate. He feels the pain in side whenever you look at a girl for more than 3 seconds. His hands ache when you go past first base with your girlfriend….”
Anyway, enjoy making the Prophet Muhammad very sad today!
(via)
That dude has one funky beard. I wonder if that’s his brain leaking out and coagulating underneath his face.
Happy Valentines Day all! :-) Hopefully Mohammed carries around a lot of Kleenex.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY MUHAMMED!!!
LOVE, SAINT VALENTINE
Well, considering that there is at least one person in the world masturbating every minute, poor Jesus must be in a perpetual state of crying.
These people expect us to believe that there is an all powerful being that created a virtually infinite universe filled with billions of galaxies each filled with billions of stars and planets, and that this almighty Creator throws a fit over the bedroom conduct of the inhabitants of just one tiny speck of a planet in all of that.
“Do you see that!” God thundered, his teeth clenching, his face reddening, his fists tightening, “Adam just put his penis in Steve’s mouth! I am SO angry!”
I make all the “prophets” sad all the time. ;-)
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Personally i think valentines day is stupid.
It’s just there to give shops more income on stupid valentines stuff. People NEED valentines stuff to prove that they are special to someone.
bleh.
I don’t need a stupid commercial day to show someone i care, or to be validated by friends and loved ones.
Personally, I try to take a few minutes every day to make not only the Baby Jesus cry, but the Infant Muhammad as well. I’m an equal opportunity atheist.
First the War on Christmas and now This!!
Somebody alert Bill Donahue and Bill O’Reilly!
I guess it’s official: the Muslim world hates love.
Wait for it…….
Wait for it…..
“But he’s not a TRUE Muslim!”
Perhaps that’s why the Red River Valley here in MN and the Dakotas and Iowa keeps flooding, because of all the queer sex I used to have when I was younger :)
My bad!
♥
@Tommykey
“Well, considering that there is at least one person in the world masturbating every minute, poor Jesus must be in a perpetual state of crying.”
Well considered there’s 1440 minutes in a day and coming up to 7 billion people on the earth either you live with a bunch of sexual repressed puritans or I’m blind.
Maybe somebody should send this fellow a card?
“Every time you sin you make Jesus very, very sad. He cries every time you masturbate. He feels the pain in side whenever you look at a girl for more than 3 seconds. His hands ache when you go past first base with your girlfriend….”
If Jesus is in heaven, how can he still be suffering?
And when he was on earth, did he ever look at a girl for longer than 3 seconds? Did he ever use his reproductive organs that were created by his father? Did he have such organs in the first place? Hormones? So many questions, so few answers…
Dammit, it won’t post pics.
Anyway, here
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o160/ChisaiUsagi/6fhh.jpg
It’s the one with “everytime you masturbate God kills a kitten”
The prophet (or, victim of seizures that made him think he was receiving visions from an “angel”) Muhammad is dead. Therefore, celebrating a stupid holiday in which gifts are proffered in the hopes of getting laid can’t make him sad, happy, or give him a chubby.
Oh yeah Roger, I bet you don’t have any evidence Muhammad ISN’T in heaven and sad on Valentine’s Day! Ha! So There! It’s True! ADMIT IT! I JUST OWNED YOU! MUHWAHAHAH!!!!!!!1!1!!!!111!
Ahem.
Boy, I’ve been feeling snarky lately.
But Daniel, you need to cite surah and verse from the Quran, or else I cannot possibly believe you. Of course, I’m pretty sure that Muhammad didn’t say anything about VD (ha ha). Maybe Muhammad could issue a supplement that would list all the verboten holidays?
And hey, where’s John C. and his special brand of woo? He won’t defend his (crazy as fuck) brethren? After all, they all believe in the same gawd, don’t they?
I’m just going to get busy and jerk-off while checking out some porn, okay? I’ve got a lot of God/Allah/whatever pissing off to get done!
I was walking downtown today and came upon 3 guys with a megaphone reading from the bible in a very loud tone. Something about going to hell etc. I was very tempted to ask them why an omnipotent being would get angry. Yeah angry, as in human emotion. I wish I did…
@Bill: The “but he’s not a true Muslim!” thing would never be uttered by Muslims on this one. He is repeating the mainstream party line. “He’s not a true Muslim!” is reserved for Muslims who do really bad things. Like kill & drink beer. When it comes to things like this, “fighting” to “preserve” the “Islamic culture” from the forces of “Western imperialism and atheism,” even your beardless suit wearer will usually approve of the raving loonie.
@Roger: There is a hadith that, in a literal reading, prohibits the celebration of any holidays other than the two Eids. In a mainstream understanding, this is taken to mean anything that is religious based; in the more conservative Salafee-influenced understanding that dominates North American mosques, it usually means *any* holiday, from 4th of July to Canada Day. Halloween, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day are probably the most contentious of these holidays, and every single year, without fail, you have your beards, veils, and even the suit wearing types telling people it makes Big Al and his Mo-man sad that you celebrate these imperialistic, Satanic, Western holidays. They spend a great deal of time, energy, and saliva each year denouncing Muslims who do celebrate these holidays. Despite that, more and more Muslims in the Middle East are now celebrating Christmas and Valentine’s Day.
Anyway, therefore, the Mo-man is vewy, vewy sad up in paradise when you, the Muslim, gives a teddy bear to your fiance or wife on 14th Feb.
Here is the hadith (with proper Salafee spellings preserved for the amusement of any other ex-Muslims lurking around).
The Prophet did not approve the feast of Jaahiliyyah (pre-Islamic period). Anas reported that the Prophet came to Madeenah with two days they played in. The Prophet asked: ‘What are these two days?’ They said: ‘These are two days we used to play in in our Jaahiliyyah’. The Prophet said: ‘Big Al has replaced them with two better days: Eid Al-Adh-Haa and Eid Al-Fitr’”.
By the by, the two Eids are the absolute most boring days of the year for Muslims. Trust me on this.
@vidlord
“I was walking downtown today and came upon 3 guys with a megaphone reading from the bible in a very loud tone.”
How most strange I read that as the megaphone was reading from the bible — give him or her a break of course it’s going to be in “a very loud tone.” — then I reread it and thought … ar that makes more sense!
“Every time you sin you make Jesus very, very sad. He cries every time you masturbate.”
So do I. Sometimes I wail and moan too.