Here is Hayes Carll singing “She Left Me for Jesus.”
Here are the lyrics:
We’ve been datin’ since high school, we never once left this town
We used to go out on the weekends and we’d drink til we drowned
But now shes acting funny and I don’t understand
I think that she’s found her some other manCHORUS
She left me for Jesus and that just ain’t fair
She says that he’s perfect how could I compare
She says I should find him and I’ll know peace at last
If I ever find Jesus I’m kickin his assShe showed me a picture, all I could do was stare
At that freak in his sandals with his long pretty hair
They must think that I’m stupid or I dont have a clue
I’ll bet he’s a commie or even worse yet a JewShe’s given up whiskey and takin’ up wine
While she prays for his troubles she’s forgot about mine
I’m a gonna get even I can’t handle the shame
Why last time we made love she even called out his nameIt coulda been Carlos or even Billy Ortez
But if I ever find Jesus
He’s gonna wish he was deadAmen.
I apologize in advance to all the Christians who are now receiving a smaller heavenly mansion and a few less golden crowns for just reading those lyrics.
There’s also a music video for the song.
(via)
Funny, but I must admit that Jesus has ruined at least two of my relationships. I can laugh about it now, but it wasn’t so funny at the time.
This is neither funny nor a joke; God is not mocked and those who mock Him, will perish. Yeshua (Jesus) does NOT ruin relationships; people do! Yeshua REPAIRS relationships for those WILLING to take and HONEST look at what THEIR part in it is; Yeshua HEALS those who have FAITH in His Lordship. And from those lyrics described, she BETTERED herself and he CHOOSE to remain, a drunk.
Definitely funny — but I think this guy needs to be lumped in with the same hate-mongering, ignorant rednecks who were presented on this site before the election.
Hayes Carll is great and I think that this song is absolutely hilarious. It’s a joke people, lighten up!
More straw men for a house of card argument.
he has a music video for this song on youtube
its well done and very funny
Another great post, Daniel!
* * *
What argument, Alex? This posting is about laughing at a clever song.
Besides, when have you presented an airtight argument?
Very Funny – I lost a girl to jesus when I was much younger. The only disagreement I have with these lyrics is the “last time we made love…” Once your girl finds jeebus that part of your relationship ends.
@ Alex – Are you going to answer my questions in the other thread, or do you just show up to accuse people of creating strawmen and then disappear?
OT:
This might make for an interesting post/discussion.
@Alex: I’m with lra364. What argument? I wasn’t aware I was refuting anything with this post. However, I did think it was funny.
just want to point out a small thing… it’s Lra364. LRA: my initials. Just a small thing really. Thanks
:)
@Lra365: Ah. Well, in many sans-serif fonts, the “l” looks just like a uppercase I. I assumed the first letter was capitalized.
You could use your first name and an initial if you don’t want your real name out there. I bet it’d be much easier to type that than “lra364″ and a lot easier for everyone to remember when typing responses. :)
I’m not sure how to change the name. It was actually selected for me because I had to participate in a blog for a class. Do you know how to change it?
Ha! I fixed it! Wow, I can engineer a virus, but when it comes to computers, I’m a little slow sometimes!
Whoa, you can engineer a virus? I better make sure I spell your nickname right from now on…
Actually, engineering viruses involves removing their reproductive dna and replacing it with dna you want to inject into cells. It’s not dangerous since the viruses can no longer reproduce (the I Am Legend movie got it all wrong!)
Interestingly, engineering viruses involves principles of evolution- you insert dna randomly into viruses that is tied to a anti-biotic resistance conferring gene and then you select for the viruses in which the dna inserts correctly (more or less- I’ve oversimplified it here)
Engineering viruses is dead simple.
Anything is simple if you know how.
I used to do brain surgery on rats and mice, too. Like I said, anything is simple once you know how.
@Daniel…
Personally, I believe the “mansion” verse you referenced is oft misunderstood. As usual, being a bit unorthodox I prefer the Weymouth (Resultant Greek New Testamant) translation as I believe it a true’er fascimile or reproduction of the original hebrew/aramaic language.
It reads…in my Father’s house are many RESTING PLACES in John 14:2. We hear Jesus earlier reference the temple and get troubled saying…make not my Father’s house a house of merchandise, trade, commercial, etc. We are the “temple” of the Holy Spirit…we are Father’s house.
Was Jesus meaning that He was leaving for Heaven and taking His carpenter skills with Him, building literal mansions in the sky?? I dont think so.
Jesus said the Kingdom of God is within us. Jesus said He must go away and then would send the spirit of truth, the holy spirit INTO us. We “abide” come up, into Him in us, there are places of existance in the spirit realm (within) that we can reside in, our conscienceness, our spirit man we ascend to the “holy mountain” of God within…we literally go up and down, higher & lower (in Him) like ascending stairs…like Joseph saw in his dream…this is telling, this is a “spiritual” life, not a religious existence.
What if the true message & offer was entirely opposed to what you thought it was? To what you & most of us have ever heard and known? Would that make a difference? What if there really was…more? Would you (still) want to know?
Just wondering…
All the best,
JC
@VJACK…
Love your Icon man (or woman, sorry), that is so true, so liberating!
JC
@John: It wouldn’t make a difference to me — whether it’s a mansion or a cot (“resting place”), I would never base my idea of an afterlife on an unreliable old book.
My point, of course, is that many Christians take that text literally and believe they’ll be getting some kind of mansion in their afterlife (the virgins are reserved for the good Mulsims, I think).
The popular Christian song “Big House” by Audio Adrenaline comes to mind about what many of the deluded masses believe:
Hayes Carll isn’t a redneck, johnny fargo. He’s a very smart and clever guy who happens to like writing funny songs. this is one of them. thanks for posting this. i knew hayes when he was playing to a small room with 10 people in it in texas. it’s nice to see other people are taking notice of his stuff.
Daniel-
I wonder if resting place refers to the Greek idea of life as the Odyssean journey. I guess, then, that the “father’s resting place” would be akin to Odysseus finally going home after all of his trials. The NT is just full to the brim with ideas originating in Greek mythology. Another reason the bible *can’t* be literal.
Also, sorry about getting off topic earlier. Now, to get back on topic, I’m curious to know how you discovered this guy (Carll)…
I was just kidding about the cot. I’m sure there is a very deep, metaphorical explanation that makes perfect sense after a few beers or a church service.
For how I found him, see the “via” link.
Even as a metaphor, I don’t find the NT to be particularly helpful to my everyday life. But science, on the other hand….
;)
It’s a big big house
with lots and lots a room
All I know is lots a land
where we can play and run
No wonder Hayes Carll’s friend left him for Jesus… It’s all about money!
That song is based on an old one…come and go with me to my Father’s house….
Typo…I meant…Jacob’s dream, Jacob’s ladder, not Joseph (although he had a cool dream too).
Was simply offering a “differential diagnosis” to the common, faulty interpretation imho.
Thx
@Daniel…
Its not an “afterlife”, its an “eternal” never ending life…a “now” life…no floating on clouds in the “sweet bye & bye” playing harps…kinda life…ugg.
His life in us…the power of an endless life.
This (temporal life) is finite, our physical habitations are finite, He is offering a different “quality”, type of life altogether…not something merely based on a “book”.
Good post today anyway…for what its worth comin’ from me.
JC
@Daniel:
I just had a horrible flashback to a summer church retreat where Audio Adrenaline played…..aaaack. And I thought I had repressed that completely! What a horribly deluded time in my life….yikes. I’m pretty sure they even played that song…
You mean… Hollywood got the science wrong? I refuse to believe it!
Next you’ll be telling me that nuking an asteroid wouldn’t stop it from hitting the Earth…
Wintermute-
he he he! yeah, don’t even get me started on that “Fringe” show! You’d think they’d hire a lab rat to advise on the science (seeing as how technicians only make $20 bucks an hour for all that schoolin’). But actors, well, they deserve $100,000 per show…
“More straw men for a house of card argument.”
Yes, that’s true of everything you’ve said on this blog. But how does it fit into this particular post?
I just heard this song on my local radio station for the first time. This song is awesome! My woman is unfortunately a little confused at the moment. She thinks that the reason she doesn’t understand the bible is because she has not studied it enough. The truth is, it just doesn’t make much sense, as is. But she wants to believe in something. When I told her I don’t believe in the supernatural elements of religion, like heaven and hell, she became irate. She also doesn’t like my ideas of God. But I am not a Christian, and never have been, one thing my parents did right. For me Christianity is all about having a personal God, which I find silly. And this song takes that idea of a personal God, in the form of Jesus, to the next level, which shows how ludicrous the whole enterprise really is. Anyway, her religious cult leader, I mean Pastor, has done one thing that I like, he told her that I am the man of the house (even if I am a “non-believer”), and she should listen to me and respect my opinion. Ok, I am convinced, maybe religion is a good thing, after all ;-)
I think that line in the lyrics near the end is supposed to be:
It coulda been Carlos or even Billy or Ted,
because then it rhymes better.
Don’t mock the Invisible Sky Daddy! He will become angry and ….
I think the joke is on the “singer” who “apparently” is clueless…chill out brethren!