I’ve sat through many Jesus pep rallies. But what surprises me about this one is it’s Mormon — they’ve cribbed the technique and language from the evangelicals, except somehow, they’ve made it even more lame!
Do you want to have the kind of fun Sister Dalton is talking about — good, clean, wholesome Latter-Day Saints fun?
Gag. The fakeness is just creepy — and even creepier that the teenage masses are excited about whatever it is they’re babbling about!
(via)
Do you suppose if we put a summary of Stephen “Hit-and-Run” Webb’s hypocrisies at the top of every blog, he’ll ever read it next time he does a drive-by?
Summary of Tangled-Webb Hypocrisies
Scary thing is that it ain’t fakeness. That is probably their “Real” personallities. As an LDS myself, I have met several people like them. They ain’t fakin’ it. But the majority of LDS I know are “normal” real people just like anybody else. Like any group we have ‘em all.
LDS are just people too, ya’know?
Creepy Stepford-Wife Lady: “Yes, and music to the ears and LIFE to the whole being!”
**Shudder**
All dancing is sexual in a way — you gotta FEEL the music. Make love to it.
For this reason, suppressed Mormon kids are terrible dancers.
Do Mormons disbelieve in dancing the way Church of (we’re-not-a-denomination-we-ARE-the-true-church) Christ does?
Something about their smiles and eyes is creepy. I had to fast forward through most of the song.
“One word: Plastics.”
Daniel, you’re going to have a hard time surpassing yourself after “3 Ways Christianity Prolongs Immaturity”. Superb!
This video was profoundly disturbing. I had to listen to this instead:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo
Now, if they had started doing *that*, I would’ve been impressed.
When the young men’s president says: “That’s the spirit of the lord, touching your heart”
All I can think of is the family guy gag about being “touched by an angel”:
In the court room, the prosecutor holds up a stuffed doll and asks the young boy witness “Where did the angel touch you?”. The young boy points to the crotch of the doll and the angel yells “Come on! Who’re you gonna believe? I’ve got a freakin’ halo!”
I found just the opposite of what you’re saying. After I no longer just had to sing or listen to “christian music”, I found a whole world of creative expression with all kinds of music, dancing, and writing. I hope you are able to find community and artistic expression with people who don’t have to worship a non-existent god to get together.
I am pretty sure the female screams from the audience when the second guy started to sing were not the result of “good, clean, latter-day saints” thoughts. If he asked them to “go to third base” with him in the back of the Church Bus, I bet they would “Say Yes!”
That guy looks like A.C. Slater, from “Saved by the Bell”, didn’t he?
Honestly, Though… Other than the ridiculously out-of-touch Old Folks who were entirely out of their element trying to speak down to a room full of kids, that whole Choreographed song-and-dance number was probaby VERY fun for the kids involved.
One of the great tragedies of being an ex-Christian is lacking similar outlets for creativity and group activity, that don’t require you to recite stupid creeds and kneel in reverence and prayer to invisible beings.
I completely agree with this. Somewhere in recent history, it has become almost completely socially unacceptable to have this kind of fun without it being somehow associated with religion or a sort of over-achieving/ creepy/ Stepford-y vibe.
It’s actually really a pity. It’s the only thing I miss about being LDS (born and raised, now an ex-mormon). I miss the focus on youth activities. We did things like hiking trips and that bicentennial anniversary trek, dances and community service activities, EFY and other stuff.
And even though I spent most of my youth rolling my eyes at how incredibly, voluntarily blind everyone was to any inconsistencies in the religious teachings — I had a lot of fun at those activities. We’d write these crazy skits and songs at camp. We’d make up stories about the stuff we found while doing highway cleanup (community service). At dances, those of us who were frustrated at the restrictions on dancing learned how to swing dance, foxtrot and waltz.
It was fun — an entirely different sort of fun than that I have now, and sometimes I miss it. It seems once you get away from religion, people can’t conceive of why you would have fun for the sake of cheesy, stupid fun. Like those Rogers and Hammerstein musicals.
I enjoy karaoke at bars, and I enjoy being able to use dance as a sexual medium now. I love camping with my family, riding my motorcycle, and hiking. But I will admit that sometimes I miss the sheer, cheesy, stupid fun that only seems to be found in church groups.
I just can’t put up with the Jesus-talk.
That scared the everlovin’ crap outta me…
Elaine Dalton looks like a shark. I’m sure she must believe what she’s saying, but there’s something predatory in her earnestness.
It’s like I died and went to 1950.
The only two black Mormons were there.
too bad those two didn’t choreograph it…
I only ever seem to encounter ex-mormons…
Gotta love those mormans, i live in South Africa and im fortunate enough to have never met a morman. Dont think we have them here. Although we have got a church of scientology…
a little too excited about the show arent they, kind of need to just tone it down.
my best is the part where the one guy says something along the lines of we arent following just because of our parents said we should because we tried it out and we now that its good.
hahahah REALLY!!!
Very Disney isnt it. I was expecting mickey or something to pop out and start hugging everyone!
I could only watch about a minute or two of it…HOLY CRAP!
Obviously, all of these Mormons know they’re living in rebellion to God, if only they could discard their extra book so they won’t go to hell.
I just threw up in my mouth.
You know what’s awesome? Run this video and “What What (In the Butt)” at the same time. The irony is worth many giggles.
On another note, though, why is it that female Christians are always creepier than males? First Shirley Phelps-Roper, now this woman. I don’t know what it is, but it gives me many jibblies.
“All dancing is sexual in a way”
I guess that means I’m not doing it right ;)
Jeff,
Bravo!!
Someone with Sense and Humor.
Too bad most of these people don’t want to see logic and rational thinking, they just want to make fun of others…
-D
Don’t think you know this so I’ll have it said:
Utah is not all Mormon, and not all Mormon’s Live in Utah.
The association is only due to a large portion od Utah Citizens being Mormon but it is not more than 50% so not even a majority.
SO take your State Statistics and stuff ‘em.
By the way do you know what the standard deviation was on those statiscs?
If not then you can hardly rely on them.
Later,
-D
I don’t have anything to gauage your intelligance but the comments and actions I see…
They represent that level of stipidity.
-D
I’m glad you caught that..
:)
Good, clean, Latter-Day Saints fun. Wow. Sign me up.
I doubt they act like that off-stage. If so, God help them.
On a side note…reports say Utah purchases the most pornography relative to it’s population.
And Utah is also #1 in anti-depressant use. I guess I’d be depressed too if I were Mormon…
Yeah but they probably grimace and say “eeew” the entire time they’re beating off.
It’s quite possible. Prostitutes in Israel say their best customers are the ultra-Orthodox.
I find this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU to be a better disinfectant.
Ha! And as a result of that they will have developed and “Ewww face” instead of an “Ohh face” … Man … LDS marital encounters must be really awkward.
(as a side note: this probably only holds true for Utah Mormons. I grew up in SoCal where all the Mormon kids sold pot and had to hide extra marital pregnancies. We called them the Not-so-Mornmon-Mormons.)
Kudos to Elliot. The second sister Dalton stepped on stage my first thought was Stepford wife.
“How many of you kids want to h-h-h *fizzle*-”pop”__{spar}* h-have FUN!?!?!”
One can only hope!
Family guy is consistently incredibly funny…
… would this be sacred temple prostitutes (“priest-itutes”), or the other kind?
It’s been years since I read a statistic that 24% of abortions were for Catholic women.
Probably more now.
The hypocrisy! If only they would support others’ right to do what they did on the sneaky!
The other – the “profane” – kind!
LOL
I’m sure the Mormony would still have led to piss-poor choreography.
Good recommendation! As I watched it like that, suddenly the whole universe made sense again =)
I know people like that. If it is just an act, then it’s an act that they keep up all of the time, not just on stage.
I’m sure that they’re a little bit less enthusiastic when off-stage, but pretty much everybody has more enthusiasm when they’re performing on-stage.
Like ditchu said, Mormons are just people, and they have all types. Mormons can be crazy, normal, enthusiastic, indifferent, people who live the teachings, people who, like Karly says, sell pot and hide unwed pregnancies.
Utah is a funny place, and many of the locals (mormon or not) would agree. I’ve seen studies saying that the people are the happiest (although I think that it was self-reported happiness), they consume the most anti-depressants and ice cream (probably because they don’t self-medicate with alcohol). Utah is reportedly the highest consumer of porn, but probably also the least likely to admit it.
claidheamh mor, mormons do not have any issues with dancing (except for the grinding against your dance partner kind). Mormons have church organized dances all the time. If you were ask around in Utah, you could probably find a youth dance at least once a month.
One more note to RobotzAreAwesome: I agree. Robots are awesome. Also, I hope you’re not serious. If you are really going to condemn Mormons for believing something extra that’s not in the bible, then you should take a serious look at pretty much every christian religion and make sure that they’re not teaching anything that doesn’t come from the bible, or anything that contradicts the bible. I’m pretty sure that they’re all going to hell as well (well, if there is a hell).
Awwww, are the mean atheists being mean to poor widdle you?
I don’t know the reliability of the source, but I recently heard that google released its search statistics by state, and the most common search term for Utah was ‘men kissing.’
Seriously? Wow, that’s amazing! And I thought the Mormons who lived around here actually lived in Utah! And those Christians who move to Utah to witness to Mormons — you mean to tell me they’re not Mormon? And all the Mormon apostates and general secular people in Utah aren’t Mormon?
Geez, someone should have told me that earlier. Thanks for the enlightenment, ditchu.
(Yes, that’s completely sarcastic, but your response warranted it. Do you seriously think we’re that stupid?)
I’m sorry, but did you just question my intelligence yet spell it as “intelligance” and stupidity as “stipidity”?
I’m enjoying the delicious irony. Keep it up!