I thought this was a spoof at first, but it’s people acting out what Christians have said, quoted from Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
The best part is toward the end where a guy explains what would happen if atheists ruled the world. What a crazy perspective some people have.
(via)
The kid with the beanie in the preview still looks just like the skateboard kid who always petitions for the homeless shelter in Sim City 2000.
Sorry, Daniel, but I thought the best part was when the guy said that if DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) was in our bodies that we’d dissolve!
haaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaahahaha!!!!!
I´d have to call Poe on this.
I know that those kids were just playing roles. But, I can’t help but shudder when I think that I used to be like that.
Ahhhhahahahahahaha!
These guys are great!
I just wish the irrational xians they were parodying weren’t so frighteningly real.
Luckily, an atheist has less of a chance of getting elected to a position of power than an openly gay terrorist. I think the world’s safe for now.
I do rule the world.
I’m just very very subtle about it.
This was an outstanding video.
I do love the DNA part, hahahahaha.
I find it funny when he was talking about hooded atheists burning Christians alive at the stake, apparently ignoring the fact that the idea for that came from Christians doing that. Many times. Over thousands of years. To a variety of scapegoats. Only stopping recently because of fear of the law.
I can identify with his anger.
Yeah, I missed the hooded black robe memo. Where’d you guys buy yours?
I thought it was a spoof at first, too. Then I watched the kid in the watch cap and saw the dead look in his eyes and the deep disgust on his face. So, it’s either real or these guys are very good actors. It is very sad to see youngsters so ignorant and so certain that they have all of the right answers. How did they get so old without encountering any science at all?
Now I am going to drink some soda water to neutralize my DNA so I won’t dissolve.
Dang, so I need to buy a black robe now!? Are we using a symbol on it?
Atheists did rule the world in the Soviet Union…oops looks like that sucked and failed…haha!
I went to that website. Looked at the top 100.
I got through maybe twenty or thirty before it broke my heart.
There are some funny comments, but most of them were ignorant and/or willfully hateful. It’s a sad thing that people like that exist.
Poe or not, that beanie kid freaks me out. For being a loving christian he sure has a lot of anger when going on his “athiests are evil tirade. And he like to say fuck … a lot. Only recently have I come across such anger through reading this blog and others (such as Orcinus), suddenly I feel lucky that I was only flipped off by 80 year olds when helping to campaign for No on 8.
Nobody ever started a war because they were too reasonable.
What is scary about this video is I have known a few christiains that buy into some of these claims. What is funny I learned this at a kegger and found I was the only non-believer there with about 15 or 20 drunk christians. I only got threatened with physical violence once and she passed out pretty quick.
Most christians aren’t like this, because they’re able to make a distinction between the fantasy world of christianity and the rational world they live in Monday through Saturday. Problems only occur when the fantasy world bleeds into the rational world. That’s how we get mother’s who starve their kids, representatives who use the bible as evidence that rising sea levels aren’t a concern, and people who write stupid shit on the internet. (alex guggenheim et al.)
Amazes me that atheists are watching the video and getting angry at the actors in it.
…It says the quotes are from Fundamentalist Christian forums and it links to a site called “Fundies Say the Darndest Things!”
Guys, if you’re gonna attack Christians for lacking common sense, ya gotta pay attention. Otherwise, you just kinda make everyone look bad.
Three words:
“Evolution is a lie”
BAAHAHAHA.
Good Post. At first I thought it was serious, but then the quotes started sounding all too familiar.
How ridiculous. Athiests in black robes indeed – what nonsense…. they went out of heretic fashion years ago…
Hot pink spandex is all the rage these days amongst the evil hoardes of the Atheist agenda.
I don’t call Poe on this. It’s obviously real.
What bothers me is the assumption that all Christians can be accurately represented by the words of an anonymous, online fundamentalist forum.
That said, I have no doubt that a lot of people think like this, and that is frightening.
The fact that these statements were actually thought up in the minds of human beings makes me want to cry in a hole.
LOL. Wow. That vid was great (with exception of the profanity). I’m still laughing. The sad thing is, I’ve actually heard a lot of people say stuff like that while being serious.
LOL “What matters is that if you don’t believe god created the world 6,000 years ago, you’re going to hell.” The look on his face after saying this is priceless!
Setting up straw men and knocking them down is just fooling yourself. I have never heard any of these so-called arguments and I have been a Christian for over 30 years.
Just because you never personally heard any of these arguments doesn’t mean it’s not true that someone wrote them. People’s quotes from Christian forums are not straw men.
Yea… totally discounting all the actual acid we’re carrying around in our stomachs to digest things… somehow that doesn’t kill us though.
I do love how they kinda skip the fact that the woman wouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place because she more than likely believes in using contraception. Using a rubber = no abortion needed.
Also in the little skit, would people know what addictive substances were without believing in science? I mean that would be pretty cool if we stop believing in religion and suddenly all the science that says drugs are bad for your body suddenly reverse their opinion.
*Shakes J.R’s hand*
Welcome to the world we call Real, my friend.
Ye Gods, though, talk about the last one PROJECTING! Talking about what he thinks atheists would like to do to Christians while blatantly revealing what he, a Christian, would like to do to atheists. Freak.
If so then one’d have to assume most of the submissions to FSTDT are Poes.
You get your hooded black robe during the initiation ceremony, right after the lengthy chanting to the picture of Darwin, and just before you eat the baby.
Weren’t you initiated?
My robe is on back order. Amazon said I should have it in 2 weeks.
I got mine at Miracle Max’s. It fit so nice he said I could keep it.
No, No, No, No….I got my black robe right after I fully expressed my anger at the god I actually believ in, and right before I admitted in a signed statement that I agree with the politcis of Pol Pot, Hitler and Stalin.
The Darwin chanting was at the first time atheist mixer/bingo night, and the baby eating was during the closing baquet.
Where did you get initiated?
“No, No, No, No….I got my black robe right after I fully expressed my anger at the god I actually believ in, and right before I admitted in a signed statement that I agree with the politcis of Pol Pot, Hitler and Stalin.”
You mean that secret part we’re not supposed to talk about?
Good job, Blabby McBlabblab. Now everyone knows.
apparently i missed the initiation… dammit! wasn’t there also supposed to be something about kitten sacrifice and bloody goats’ heads? do you think anyone will notice if i just buy a black bathrobe at target?
No, we actually like kittens.
we do? shit. i’m all kinds of mixed up.
It’s okay, Molly. You’re just not a real atheist.
does it have to be solid black? i vote that we come up with some sort of symbol to put on it, like the icthus, except not. and not the darwin icthus – we can come up with something more original. ideas?
We’ve already got a symbol. The red “A” of atheism.
Molly’s “no true atheist!”
“You mean that secret part we’re not supposed to talk about?
Good job, Blabby McBlabblab. Now everyone knows.”
I hope this doesn’t mean I have to go to atheist hell.
bill, is it weird that i’m actually scottish?
Very good (and ignored, excused, apologized, and no-true-christianed for) point.
“Atheists did rule the world in the Soviet Union…oops looks like that sucked and failed…haha!”
1) Atheism sucks and fails!
2) Therefore, invisible conscious beings exist!
3) Therefore, a God exists!
4) Therefore, Jesus is Lord!
haha!
How about Sweden, you twerp. It’s one of the best countries in the world to live, as far as quality of life, education, and various other indices.
Or New Zealand, Hong Kong, Belgium, Estonia, the Netherlands, or Czech Republic. They’re all ratholes, eh?
If you want to talk about shitty countries, Christianity doesn’t exactly have a gleaming record.
You’d think they would if they were living the word of god though, wouldn’t you?
Actually, that was communism. Not atheism.
Nice try!
Everytime I read something like this, I get an image of communists grinding their teeth over the way Marxism is distilled down to atheism. As if Marx wrote, “Religion is the opiate of the masses,” and then wrote nothing else.
It’s a happy image.
This irrational spewer is #363!
363. ARGUMENT FROM NAZI EVIL
(1) Hitler and his Nazis were atheists.
(2) I don’t care what the historical evidence says about their being Christians.
Christians cannot be evil, and only atheists would be capable of the Holocaust.
(3) So Nazis, like all truly evil people, are atheists.
(4) Therefore, all atheists are truly evil. They must be servants of Satan.
(5) Therefore, God exists.
And #67!
67. ARGUMENT FROM HATE
(1) Some atheists hate Christians and Christianity.
(2) That’s why they don’t believe in God.
(3) Pathetic, aren’t they?
(4) Therefore, God exists.
Not very original, is he? What an idiot.
Hahahahahahaha!
Oh, wait, he’s #140!
140. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY
(1) I am an idiot.
(2) Even an idiot can see that God exists.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
Hahahahahahahahaha!
Christians did rule the world in the medieval Catholic Church…oops looks like that sucked and failed…haha!
Ignatius is back to shower us with his hit and run wisdom.
Proof according to Alex Gagbreath:
1. The Soviet Union was a totalitarian communist state that.
2. Instead of using religion to control masses they used the communist ideology.
3. Religion was discouraged by the state in an attempt to keep the population focused on the communist ideals.
4. Communism failed due to socio-economic and political reasons.
5 Therefore god exists.
Psst… correlation is not causation… if Hitler collected stamps that doesn’t mean philately causes evil.
Well, isn’t religion the opiate of the masses? I mean, if we can get people to buy into their own oppression, isn’t that just great for the power mongers in charge? Look at how the Catholic Church lined up with the monarchs of Europe. Look at how poor Southerners line up with the rich a-holes that have now duped them out of their retirements (along with the rest of us). Why is it that the fundies in the Republican party scream for a free market and howl about socialism???
Ahahahaha. I wonder if he has any extra-smalls for me on discount … my company just went out of business so I don’t have a lot of extra cash. Perhaps I should pray to Darwin to send me some.
“Life is pain, Highness, and anyone who says differently is selling something.” (I love Princess Bride, especially the book, where this quote is from Fezzik’s mother and not Westly.)
As I was scrolling through this I saw, “ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY.” I thought, “I bet that means Alex posted here.” Unfortunately, I was right.
I promise that praying to Darwin will be exactly as effective as any other prayer.
Yes and it’s available exclusively at UF! Please send $500 via paypal to me to get your quality black robe with custom embroidered “A”! Limited time only!
Act now, and get an Atheist Snuggie™ with it! One size fits all!
It’s a spoof. You can see them repressing their laughter when they’re talking about evolution.
No, I think that actor is hilarious. Clearly he isn’t taking it seriously.
Actually it was totalitarianism marketed with a communism label.
There is a school of international relations (Neorealism) that teaches that most wars happen *because* people are too reasonable.
I read the wiki article on Neorealism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neorealism_(international_relations)) and didn’t see how that’s true. In what way are wars arguably caused by people being too reasonable / rational?
Yes, but they always seem to justify their reasonable wars with bits of nationalistic unreasonableness.
It would be interesting to see a country go to war without jingoistic propaganda. “We’re invading our neighbors because we want their natural resources.”
In neo-realism, all actors are assumed to be making decisions according to a rational-actor model. In anarchistic system-wide conditions (also assumed under Neo-Realism), each state acts to preserve its own self-interest. When interests conflict, are irreducible, and salient, wars rationally result.
Okay, that’s an argument that wars tend to be rational, not that wars are the result of rationality, isn’t it?
The second, not the first. If all actors are rational, and they choose to go to war, then wars are the result of rationality.
It doesn’t follow that wars themselves are rational. Almost always, given perfect knowledge there is a course that avoids war and still achieves sufficient fulfillment of individual state interests. The real problem is that neither actor has perfect information. Thus, rational actors in a situation of imperfect information may never discover the optimal solution, and if they miscalculate relative strength, negotiating position, or willingness to combat badly enough, they can easily find themselves in the sub-optimal condition of war.
No, no. Sorry, my post was tautologolicious. I mean, you can use that line of reasoning to suggest that wars are fought for rational reasons, but not that wars are *caused* by rationality itself. That is, it doesn’t follow that rational wars would have been averted by the actors having been irrational.
Perhaps people have started wars for rational reasons, but never *because* they were rational.
Well, rationality is what allows a person to correlate desires and goals with potential actions, and choose from among those actions the one best suited to pursuing the goal.
So, yeah, I think in a real sense rationality *itself* (the ability to reason about goals and means) is the cause for war. If people were incapable of that rationing, the highly coordinated nature of war would not be possible. At worst there would be random individual violence. The prosecution of war requires organization, prioritization, and planning.
So there would be less war if people were more irrational?
Okay.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha!
lol
lol lol lol
lol
Dude, do you want to scare people??!! I’ll stick with the black robe. Black is always stylish.
It’s not a spoof. It’s actors reading out things that people have actually posted on fundamentalist Christian chat boards.
Ah, yes – Turning the other cheek. In that example, the other cheek was glued to a pillow by congealed vomit, and so could not be turned, clearly.
Does that mean that I can’t wear my off-the-shoulder lilac chiffon Atheist robe?
Nowhere near as scary as hot pink spandex, IMNSHO.