Update: Yes, this is an April Fool’s joke. John C, as far as I know, is a real person. :)
I have a confession.
A few months ago, I thought it would be amusing to write comments from a different perspective. Someone who could speak mystically, make outrageous claims without evidence, and be completely impervious to logic and reason.
And thus John C was born.
I had no idea the community reaction would be so strong. A little joke turned into a full-time job. It may look simple to speak gibberish and quote the bible, but it’s not — especially when you’re doing it in 10-20 comments a day.
But it began taking over my life. My wife was angry and put her foot down: “Dan, if you don’t kill John C, I’m going to kill you.”
At last I gave in and wrote my farewell post. I decided to stop commenting on my 1,000 comment, which was coming up.
I have some favorites out of the 1,007 total comments I wrote. Here are a few:
Truth…is a Person, and so is the lie. So who you gonna believe? Christ or Self? Oneness…that’s the ultimate solution.
When someone declares “I am gay” it just makes me wonder, who told you that? Did God say? This is the same story in the garden deception…who told you? Did Father tell you that you are gay? Who we believe, who has our ear is key. The issue is one of identity, paternal lineage.
Daniel has asked me to coordinate the activities at the UnFaithCon. I thought we’d memorize OT scriptures, pray to Sky-God and sit around the camp fire roasting marshmellows while singing kumbaya all night? Does that works for you guys?
The uniting of spirits, His to mine is in the deeper still, spirit although my soul “houses” my spirit and the two can sometimes be referenced together being the (combined, whole) spiritual aspect of our being. You only know sir…what YOU know…but you can know Truth…Himself. There is more, there is a life.
Revisionist history…from folks with Phd’s…stands for Piled High & Deep.
How bout we let Him be who He is in and thru us so the world can know that Love…lives? That’s a better use of this very brief life, this spacetime nano second we have to inhabit this flesh realm, to make it count. Paradoxical paternity, its a trip!
It was indeed a trip. But the truth gnawed at me. How was I different from Pastor Chris, who I called out for impersonating an atheist? Here I was, an atheist, impersonating a Christian. The only difference was I hadn’t been caught.
So I’m coming clean. The truth is out!
Thanks for telling the truth, but dude…not cool.
Hahaha. Yeah, I have a confession to make, too. I am actually Alex Guggenheim.
April Fools!
If not, you picked the worst day to post that hehe.
I have a confession of my own. I am God. And I don’t exist. Sorry for yanking your strings for several thousand years.
I accused you of this a couple of weeks ago !
Just for a moment, a brief moment, I thought ‘oh noes I was right !’, you bad man :D
The moment i read “i got a confession” i knew it would be an april fools joke.
This is one of the better ones i read today :)
Dammit, I *always* fall for these things for about two minutes. No matter how long I live, I think the first joke of the year will always catch me off guard.
Seriously, I was reading this and thinking, “how on earth did Daniel find to time to blog, comment and be John C.?” Oh, and be married. Very time consuming, marriage.
Good one Daniel!
LOL! Nice!
You know, if it weren’t April Fools Day, would that be a reverse Poe? ;-)
Well that was LOL worthy. :D
I read your blog daily but I don’t often comment.
You totally had me going there until I read the other comments. I was shocked and upset and vowed to never read this blog again. Maybe you should let everyone know tomorrow that it was a joke.
Wouldn’t want to lose readers by fooling them! :P
I’m checking the date and weighing up the probabilities of a fantastic reverse Poe…
Too bad John C himself won’t be in on the joke. (Unless he lurks.)
I thought you were going to confess that you were still a devout Christian and never really abandoned your faith, and just started this blog to gain the trust and friendship of as many atheists as possible so you can spy on them and use their words and personal details for your own nefarious ends…..
But this was a cool joke too. ;)
Haha, good one.
I pegged you at “confession”, because we all know that atheists don’t confess. We lie with reckless abandon and no concern for the repercussions.
I also didn’t think you were capable of writing like John C. It takes a whole different kind of mind to spew out thoughts in the way he does.
YOU TERRIBLE TERRIBLE MAN. :D Okay, I’m just bummed for being so gullible as to fall for the “I’m actually a christian blogger who’s been posing as an atheist” AND your april fools prank both today. Dangit. Luckily I figured it out by then end. Yeah, it was LOL worthy, but first it was, as Scooby would say, ZOIKS!
On the down side, will we now have to wade through MORE John C?
Unspeakably Awesome
I was fooled.
I thought, I should be as mad as I was at the pastor lying for Jaysus, but I’m not. And that’s what i was going to say. So I get to be hypocritical.
Then I thought, *grrroooooannnn*… now there really is a John C. And there will be… more!
Ugh.
I should have known.
John C is…..
STRANGER AND WEIRDER THAN FICTION
And I wish he and a lot of other fundies were. Fiction, that is.
I am Spartacus!
So much easier to impersonate a raving Christian than a thoughtful atheist.
I too have a confusion, I’m really Lee Mother F’n Strobel! Bow down and worship me NOW!!!
ps. Did I mention I have a new book coming out? Please pick it up on Amazon. God Bless!
http://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Adventure-Taking-Everyday-People/dp/0310289564/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1
Wow.
Totally got me. I was pissed.
Now I just feel silly.
Awwww, ya got me. I totally fell for it. When I thought you were serious, I wasn’t angry, because John C isn’t nearly as incendiary as Chris Fox’s fictional atheist, but I was a little surprised, because it would be more than a little difficult for you to spout some of the ridiculous John C sayings we’ve all come to know and ignore.
I was thinking, “I absolutely do not believe you,” – the logistics, mainly, of Daniel and John C having conversations, like when he asks if you’re going to ban him and you say not at all. I was disgusted, mainly because of the lying pastor. It took reading the comments to realise it was a joke, despite the date.
Good one! (and very relieved that, in this respect, you are the person I thought you were).
I’m unconvinced that this is a joke. I think Daniel really was John C, and he is deliberately turning the reveal into an April fool’s joke in order to avoid suspicion.
Here is my proof.
Daniel Florien
Florien, LA Population = 692
692 in binary code = 1010110100
add up those digits, and you get 5. Daniel equals 5.
But wait! He has a second identity, so he is really 10.
Daniel = 10. Remember that.
Unreasonable Faith. U F
U is the 21st letter of the alphabet, F is the 6th.
21 in base 6 is 33. Add that to the number 10, from before, and you get 43.
43 is the ASCII code for the plus sign.
‘plus’ is French for ‘more’
John C always says “THERE IS MORE.
He has been trying to tell us all along! Do you see now?!
(That’s my impression of Jack Van Impe)
Strange… I used to skip over John C.’s gibberish, but now he’s gone I’m somehow missing it…
John C. = J. C. = Jesus Christ
I wonder what kind of job he found?
Me?
Just relieved in light of own last three postings:
http://briancork.wordpress.com/2009/03/31/holy-crap/
http://briancork.wordpress.com/2009/03/31/open-minds/
and,
http://briancork.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/reasoning/
Cork
Haha, well done Daniel.
And thanks to those who commented on my boyfriend problem and gave me some advice – not the kind of problem you’re thinking about!
Since I was the recipient of part of that stuff I happen to know that you quote-mined. Some of it made even less sense. And there’s more. You …. are a slithy tove.
P.S. Good one, Daniel!
Why is Al Jaffee still funnier than everyone else in the world, even in email form? ,
None of these impairments knock out or compromise recursion alone. ,
…unless this is a big old April Fool’s joke. I didn’t think it was until I realized what today is.
Yeah, I figured it was a joke.
Now THAT explains a lot!
lol – alexandina glugglebot and the teletubbie one and the same?
Now *that* would be a good joke too
Would that it were true!
I’m not sure you have it in you to invent something that bad.
The second I hit “submit”, my brain kicked in with, “Um, dude? Hello? Do you know what the date is? Yeah.”
I’m just glad people are getting it. I was afraid it might not click.
The crazy thing is this isn’t completely implausible! ;)
… but … but …. jeebus said … awwwwwwwwwww
Could you briefly pop back into existence and give me a list of who’ll win the next 20 Super Bowls? Thanks!
@ Daniel
I wont lie, I didn’t get it until I read the comments. I was going to call you a hypocrite. I would have been furious.
Also the holy rollers would have lit your hind quarters up.
I could just imagine that poster you threatened to ban the other day reading this and not realizing it was a joke, you would be recieveing pure internet venom from them.
Out of curiosity what purpose or what point are they trying to drive home.
Well that’s the problem. You could have gone *way* further and still half convinced us all that you were serious.
Oh ya April Fools!!
1. To much like out illustrious guest Atheist um I mean Pastor
2. Seen John C on other boards
3. No Atheist can pull it off that good
LOL but for about 4 sentences I was complety befuddled.
Not by my strength, but God’s strength! Christ in me found the time! ;)
Now we know you’re not serious.
Yes, that was a concern. I certainly wouldn’t want to lose readers over a silly joke. But I figured most people would get it when they saw the comments.
I’ll be updating the post a little later today making it clear.
He sent me an email, he thought it was funny.
Don’t spoil the joke for next year!
Ha! So you didn’t tell him you were going to do it beforehand? That makes it funnier.
Forget the Super Bowls — talk to me about the stock market!
Only with his 2nd coming. Which is coming soon, brothers! Behold, I tell you, this generation will not pass away until they hear again from John C.
…how would it be a reverse Poe? Poe’s law being that a satirical christian impersonator, no matter how extreme, will be more or less indistinguishable from real fundamentalist christians, surely it would just be a Poe?
Daniel Florien is a theist.
[Pass it on.]
It’s like that episode of Star Trek, “Mirror, Mirror.” Spock tells Kirk that it was easier for Kirk and Co. to behave as barbarians than it was for their mirror universe counterparts to behave as civilized people.
No, I’m Spartacus so’s the wife.
I love you, Spartacus.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m convinced!
My kids used to do a similar trick where they made ‘Barney the dinosaur’ = ‘Satan’. The proof is here: http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=BarneySatan
Also, “Brother, if it makes the devil that mad there HAS to be something wrong with it” – (Jack Van Impe) – I never quite knew what JVI meant by that.
Daniel is NOT JC–
Proof from Texas:
(1) I am from Texas
(2) JC claimed to be from Texas
(3) JC knew intimate details about Richardson (in Dallas, Texas)
(4) I was a teacher in Richardson
(5) Whenever I mention Texas, Daniel says ‘meh’
(6) It is physically impossible for a Real Texan (TM) to say ‘meh’ about anything related to Texas
___________________________
(7) Therefore Daniel Florien is not JC
“I was fooled.”
Also, your epidermis is showing (that means your hair)…
Nah–Superbowl’s a better investment.
It’s certainly possible that hearing from him again might cause a variety of spectacular brain-death. One is reminded of the reaction of most species to Vogon poetry.
Considering some of the comments he made in response to some issue, I think he’s a chiropracter.
epidermis= outer layer of skin
;)
;)
Excellent deduction!
However, I don’t remember saying “meh” about Texas. I’ve never been there, so I don’t know much about it. Other than it is hot. And big.
Meh. :)
But you’re from there, so I’m sure there are other good things there! Like BBQ.
oh, no my friend! When I said that the clip on affection between gay people was fine, but that the show had previously portrayed Texans as the ultimate ugly Americans, you said that we should see the people in your neck of the woods. This, therefore equates to ‘meh’.
;)
Yes, it’s a joke from the Simpsons. In case you haven’t seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClynhFKMs3c
HA-ha!