Jesus has made good on his promise and returned again, this time on a lid of jelly:
Claire Allen, 36, said she was the first to notice the image on the underside of the lid as she was putting the yeast spread on her son’s toast.
Her husband Gareth, 37, said he could not believe his eyes when he saw it.
[Claire] told the South Wales Echo: “Straight away Jamie said ‘that looks like God’, and my other boys (Robbie, four, and Tomas, 11) even said they could see a face.
“People might think I’m nuts, but I like to think it’s Jesus looking out for us.
“We’ve had a tough couple of months; my mum’s been really ill and it’s comforting to think that if he is there, he’s watching over us.”
Jesus said he would return “before this generation passes away” (Matt 24:34). Most people don’t think he made good on that. They say, “Where is Jesus?”
But he did return. His image returned in the clouds, in desert sand, in muddy water, in garbage heaps and refuse dumps. And still he appears to us like this today.
Irrefutable evidence that he is, in fact, God incarnate, the second person of the Holy Trinity, a virgin born of a virgin, a miracle worker, and Our Great Bearded Jelly Savior!
Oh, COME ON!
Roger– I wish I knew you in real life!!! You crack me up!!!
Praise the Lord and Pass the Toast!
Incontrovertible proof. No doubt about it.
I feel horrible though. How many times have I licked Jesus’ image off the foil of my pudding cups without even noticing him? I guess it’s not totally bad because I’ve been doing that cannibalistic eating of his body thing. But still, all the proof I’ve been waiting for has been right their with with my Jello cups all these years. And to think that I could have spent eternity in Hell all because I didn’t look before I licked.
Don’t worry, he’ll forgive you!
“People might think I’m nuts”
Yes
Cubist Jesus is watching over us all.
Well, at least the gold skin tone is closer to reality than the typical ghostly white.
LOL. I prefer my Jesus to be a bit more ripped, with flowing dark brown locks and auburn highlights and…wait, what were we talking about again?
The taste. It still taste horrible.
I will admit it does kinda look like Jesus. I just worry about these people because of the next logical step these people take.
It’s not “Oh wow, that kinda looks like Jesus. Now I’ll put this lid back on and eat my sandwich.” It’s, “Jesus is talking to me through a jelly jar lid.”
I wonder what happens if they see a blob of jelly that looks like Satan? Do they set it on fire and read Latin to banish it to hell?
Hey that looks like Hilter in my jello! He must be god!
Don’t be ridiculous. Satan doesn’t have the power to appear in jelly. Only Jesus himself is that powerful. Well, him and his mother. And maybe Mother Theresa. And also the late Pope. But that’s it.
And Lenin. And Princess Diana, though I can’t find an example right now.
Satan might not appear in vegetable spreads, but he does like to make an appearance at terrorist attacks, it seems. And Allah avoids personal appearances, but he certainly likes autographing vegetables…
Really, It reminds me more of el Che Guevara
How do you know? It’s not like we have any images of Jesus made before he was about 500 years dead…
wintermute wrote…
“How do you know? It’s not like we have any images of Jesus made before he was about 500 years dead…”
Well, you know what I mean. It looks like the classical Anglo-European artists’ rendering of Jesus.
I don’t even really believe Jesus existed, so the whole point about what he looked like is moot. But my choice of words was a shortcut, it’s faster than typing all that out.
Actually the more I look at it, the more I see a profile of Queen Nefertiti.
This is just another step in the Jesus invasion!
http://www.cynical-c.com/?p=9458
That reminds me: Where has John C been? I wonder if he has found reason….
Yea, I found reason alright…reason to believe! :)
All the best Claid’ster
Type in dog butt jesus into any search engine and you’ll see a miraculous image. I wonder why everybody isn’t gathering around it and praying. It seems to me to be a clearer image than most of these so called appearances.
It look like an image of a person smelling fecal matter.
Is it just me, or does Jesus look a little pissed off in that Marmite lid?
If you were made of marmite, you’d be angry too.
No, seriously. If I saw Jesus looking at me like that I’d be thinking, “Oh Crap! He’s about to do some holy smiting on my families butt, isn’t he?”
I think he has a bad hair day, his moustache is not entirely symmetrical.
If that is a persons image guess they need some plastic surgery to get it right.
I only see a men and a woman dancing.
But then again, last week I saw the image of Frodo in my butter cup, so it feels that Frodo is watching over me too.
So what photo did they use to compare to, to confirm that it is indeed Jezus?
Hey, you’re right. It’s a man and a woman doing a serious jitterbug.
I keep trying to see Jesus’ face in the head on my glass of beer. Luckily I’ve had no luck yet, so I guess I’ll have to keep on trying.
Good grief. People will see patterns in *anything*! :(
Birds and insects too.
“Jesus said he would return “before this generation passes away” (Matt 24:34). Most people don’t think he made good on that. They say, “Where is Jesus?””
He returned and left after His resurrection 2000 yrs ago in that generation.
I think he was the gOd that never was.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/can%20you%20see%20jesus/Psarah20/can-u-see-jesus.png
c/p
(I haven’t figured out the “code” to post links yet. I’m off to the FAQ.)
Hey, it woiked! :)
Here’s a question for everyone more versed in the Bible than I:
Are there pictures in it of Jesus? Ok, I’m joking… but seriously, this image of Jesus that has become standardized through centuries of art, where did it originate? Is there any mention in detail in the Bible of what he (more particularly his face) looks like?
These people that see Jesus in tortillas and such, do they not wonder why they even have the idea of what Jesus looks like that they do?
The same goes for the virgin Mary…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depiction_of_Jesus
Short answer: Emperor Constantine had Jesus depicted as a Roman starting around 300 CE.
At first I saw that it was two anthropomorphic birds (like in Macnelly’s “Shoe” cartoons) talking, maybe shaking hands, but then I looked a bit closer…. that’s not Jesus, that’s my 8th grade English teacher. Don’t tell the Rorschachers, “what might this be?” It took a while, but it looks like it might be a picture of someone holding a lid of a jar of marmite. I’d have to see the rest of the hand to be sure that’s what it is.
The description “on a lid of jelly” may mislead those unfamiliar with the wonderfulness that is Marmite…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itOBMaY6f6U
Marmite is a false prophet. Bovril is the messiah.
Yes!
HERETIC!
Actually, no, Bovril is pretty good as well. I guess I’m a salty spread synecretist.
You’re all prophets of false spreads! Vegemite is the one true spread!
“Do as thou wilt and spread only Nutella” shall be the whole of the law.
Oh, come on. Seriously. Marmite is sooooo eww!!
I’d be more impressed if He chose to reveal Himself through a jar of Vegemite myself.
Hasn’t Jesus also appeared on toast? What if you put the Jesus marmite on the Jesus toast?
Rapture.
“People might think I’m nuts”
No truer words were ever spoken.
So I asked my Ouija Board to channel one of the disciples (I got Thaddeus, all major ones were busy with intercessiary prayers). He said “No, that’s Murray the butcher. JC looks more like a younger Woody Allen without the glasses.”
I think Jesus was having troubles communicating with us via toast and dog’s assholes, so he tried a new approach in marmite. He’s such a technophobe!
I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to think of this, but: You know when people claim to see jesus in toast / biscuit / marmite / whatever, how do they know it’s Jesus? I mean, there’s no actual pictures of him from life, right? So, couldn’t it just be a picture of a roady from Woodstock or something?
Actually, I was thinking it looked like a portrait of one of that other trinity. Or possibly Gregg Allman.
linkie
Want to know where He wants to show up next? Go look in the mirror! That’s His intended real image…Love in you, as you (Gal 2:20) :)
Yeah, but when I tell people that I’m God and that they should send me money, they roll their eyes. Perhaps I just need to smear jelly all over my face.
You should try the LoveBOMB first and then ask for money!
Mirror witchcraft.
“Jelly”? Even with the most lax interpretation of what we call “jam”, you’d be hard pressed to call this “jelly”.
Think of it as looking, and tasting, more like the scrapings from the bottom of a 9-week unwashed griddle.
Besides, as with all pareidolia, I’d like to see the reference image to know how people know exactly what aspect their gods have. IIRC the christian scriptures weren’t too photo heavy.
also interesting that he “appeared” on marmite … that’s like appearing on dogshit or so …
What a lame thing for an omnipotent deity to do.
I thought it looked like Vlad Tepes,
Sad though how that Jelly loving bastard only watches over that poor family rather than helping them out by say making the woman no longer ill? That sound too hard? Piss off.
You are a fool if you don’t see Darwinius there.
Jelly? Marmite is a savoury spread, my good man, nary a fruit has been near it. Though maybe Lid-Jesus has been performing some more miracles again? I’d be pretty pissed off if he turned up im my Marmite jar and turned it into jam…
And if she first looked at the lid at a 180 from how she did…? How many religious images are we missing from a lack of toast/lid rotation?
Once, in art class, I tripped and dropped a bunch of paint jars on the floor. To my great surprise and wonder, there was a picute of Jesus!!! I took photos for proof (which I hope I can attach, I’m new at that), although they never did clean the floor and make a bundle off pilgrims.
http://www.purechristians.org/images/JesusByAlderiteLg.JPG
So when I remove the lid on my jar of mustard and see there the image of a vagina, I can now know with certainty in my heart of hearts that the Great Vagina watches over us all. Praise be to Vagina!