Preacher man said:
And all of a sudden the table lifted off the ground. Well I say, la de da da da, Satan can lift a table off the ground.
Isn’t it interesting he just accepts the story and says Satan did it? He doesn’t even consider that tables don’t randomly lift off the ground without natural causes. I think you could convince this man of anything — except that he could be wrong about his superstitions.
How do I know Jesus is God? Have you ever seen someone working on a fence and hit their hand on a hammer and say, “Aaahh, Buddah!”…. [No,] they say, “Jesus Christ! Jesus!” Why do they call that name? You know why? Because… they want to blame God, and they call his name Jesus Christ.
That’s his reason for knowing Jesus is God? He must not know anything about swearing. The only reason we use “Jesus Christ” is because our culture holds it as something sacred. When we use it as a curse word, it invokes negative emotion, thus accomplishing the purpose of swearing. Notice that people in don’t say “Jesus!” from non-Western cultures — they have their own sacred swear words.
Or perhaps he believes their sacred swear words are God, too?
(via)
Satan works through inanimate objects like ouija boards. Nice. The forces of hell are arrayed against mankind and bent on our destruction, but only become dangerous and apparent when teenage girls light a bunch of candles and gather around a board game sold by Parker Brothers.
I see the fundies have thought this one through.
I wonder what it’s like to feel pure 100% evil.
Just eat some Nutella straight from the jar- anything that good has to be pure evil.
What does it signify to this man when people hit their thumb with a hammer and scream “F***”?
I was going to say the same thing! I guess I must worship the God of Holy F***.
@Cheryl – That’s exactly what I was thinking. Does that mean that f**king is god?
That’s pretty much what I thought when I read this.
“F—!” Just indicates your deep seated belief in the F—ing Spaghetti Monster
May he F— you with his noodly appendage.
WIN
I assume the church is based in Japan.
Based in Japan…that one took me a second, then – literally laughed out loud.
All praise to his Joebiness!
Does this mean that God only exists in predominantly Christian countries? I wonder what people who hit their thumbs with hammers in primarily non-Christian countries yell.
My guess would be “ouch” LOL
Wouldn’t it be nice if they would use the same logic with the rest of the scriptures?
That is stunningly brilliant except the last time my daughter jumped on me and kicked me in the nuts I yelled “Joseph Smith!!!!!” Weird.
I love religious freaks.
What about those people that yell “Jiminy Crickets!”
Michael J. Fox too!
Who knew.
This is one reason why atheists should not use “Jesus Christ” as a swear word. It just validates their beliefs in their minds
I just wish newspapers and other media would stop refering to Mohammed as “The Prophet Mohammed” They don’t refer to Joseph Smith that way.
Almighty Zeus!
Great Odin’s raven!
Mormons have less of a track record of blowing up buildings
Haha, so the media is scared of offending Muslims, but not Mormons? That does make sense.
Well I really have seen it all. Christians complain that atheists ridicule the religious – we really do not have to bother with idiots like this doing it for us.
I’ve worshipped a deity called “Dammit” for several years now using this same logic.
I tend to say sh*t when I hit my thumb with a hammer or my dog lands on my nuts. Damn does this mean I believe sh*t is the true creator?
Hmmmm…
By that logic, my own personal god is a fornicating Jesus who’s also riding a pogo stick.
So if I start saying “OH F-CKING LOKI” he will exist? Cool.
Effing Loki
Whatever you do, don’t yell, “FSM”!
By the love of Cthulhu!
“You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.” The Third Commandment.
I was raised strict Irish Catholic, although I got better. I was taught that if I used the LORD’s name in vain, bang, straight to hell. That’s it, one “Oh, God!” and it meant an eternity of suffering.
That preacher is so going to Irish hell!
I like that you said you were raised in church but “got better.” That’s a great way to look at it.
Hahahahaha!
OMFSM! Chthulhu ftagn!
Ray Bradbury wrote a poem, “There Are No Ghosts In Catholic Spain”,
People go to heaven or Bang! straight to hell.
“The rain in Spain falls on a ghostless plain” – I guess that means there’s no purgatory.
“CocksuckingChrist!!” – edward current
This has got to be the guy that the electronic band, “Mylo” sampled for their song, “Destroy Rock and Roll”. I bought the CD because the original version is the best and doesn’t seem to be available electronically. He is praying for all of the musicians who are evil… it sounds like he’s reading the Billboard top 100 from 1985.
Not sure if you allow links… but you must check out this video, which is the original version on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_2wEnqzbU
He said Michael Jackson twice – does that mean he’s Bad?
Strange people. Though I couldn’t actually understand a thing that that guy was trying to say…
In the netherlands we curse a lot using disseases.
tyfus, cancer, cholera.
So those must be the holy trinity for us huh?
Can anyone post the Youtube link to this vid – I’d like to put it on my FB page but damned if I can find it.
Oops – Hell eternal…
When it comes to cursing using words that have a religious base, probably no group of people anywhere can come close to the catalog of swear words that French-speaking Quebeckers have accumulated. After all, being under the thumb of the Roman Catholic Church for over 500 years until the 1950′s, they not being educated had to weild many a hammer in order to survive, and their very colorful language developed. So, a French-speaking Quebecker when hitting his thumb with a hammer is more likely to shout “tabarnacle” which sounds like “ta-bare-nack”. It’s just one of many of their large collection of words.
Yeah, the Quebecois do kind of have a monopoly on colorful Catholic blasphemy.
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be one of these evangelists, convinced you are surrounded by baby-eating godless socialist monsters bent on destroying AMERICA and spitting in the face of Jesus H. Christ Our Lord and Breakfast Cereal…
It must be terrifying. It must really be scary to be that delusional.
how dare this asshat speak ill of Marty McFly?