by Lorette C. Luzajic
Part 9 of the Pillars of Faith series.
Brave New World
As Columbus sailed toward the New World, a new pope was elected in the old world. The year was 1492, and Rodrigo Borgia became Pope Alexander VI. Among the most notorious of all papacies, Borgia’s family was the inspiration for Mario Puzo’s Godfather books. Puzo’s last book, simply titled The Family, delves into their juiciest lore.
The papacies will forever be infamous for excess, to which the Reformers were rightfully opposed. But seldom had excess rivaled that of Alex 6. Rodrigo took his name from the pagan conqueror, and he shunned modesty and discretion, reveling in gold, women, and murder. He did not even attempt to hide his appetites for riches and sugar and sex. Today, the Catholic Church claims much of Alex’s legend is grossly exaggerated, and that to be fair, he really loved his children.
And so he did: he loved his daughter enough to sleep with her.
A Family Affair
Pullquote: The wild orgies in the papal palace were populated with the empire’s finest whores, and these parties were indeed a family affair.
Born in Spain in 1431, Rodrigo’s maternal uncle was Pope Calixtus III. Nepotism meant Rodrigo was Bishop and Cardinal before Pope. He also had four children and scores of mistresses, including the 15 year old Giulia who later bore him more children. His daughter Lucrezia was reportedly also his lover, and rumoured to be sleeping with both of her own brothers, too. Her marriage to her first husband, who didn’t touch her, was annulled because he was “impotent.” But he claimed he could not touch her because he was sickened by her familial involvements.
Later, Lucrezia’s brother Juan was found stabbed to death, and Pope Alex went all out hunting for his killer. When people began saying that his brother Cesare was the murderer, the manhunt was mysteriously and abruptly abandoned. Another Juan, born in 1498, of unknown parental heritage, was cared for by and claimed by Lucrezia as her “half-brother.” The possibility that this child belonged to her father is real.
If Cesare really killed his brother in a jealous fit over his sister, we can’t know for sure. But the wild orgies in the papal palace were populated with the empire’s finest whores, and these parties were indeed a family affair. Yet the gluttony for sex paled in comparison to the Borgia’s notorious bloodlust. Rodrigo allegedly committed his first murder at age 12. As pope, he was vicious, but even he was terrified of the depraved violence of his son Cesare.
Grail of Gore
Together, they sentenced countless to death as casually as they called for tea. All three of them liked to get their own hands dirty, thrilling in swords and poisons. Further legend has it they had a special chalice with a secret compartment for poison.
This cup, symbolic or actual, became fodder for countless writers, including Agatha Christie. Many of the historic events have been embellished in the medieval legend, but plenty of records attest to the violence. These accounts of merciless murder propelled Puzo’s Godfather books — the writer said he’d never met a Mafioso: he just researched the Borgia family and their heirs in criminality.
Johann Burchard, the pope’s MC, eyewitness to Borgia extravaganzas, wrote of a day’s amusement: “(Cesare) had them bound, hand and foot…. Some he shot, and others he cut down with his sword, trampling them under his horse’s feet… he wheeled around alone in a puddle of blood, among the dead bodies of his victims, while his Holiness and Madam Lucrezia, from a balcony, enjoyed the sight…”
Just Desserts
Most modern Catholics acknowledge that Pope Alexander VI was among the darkest blots in church history. Yet amazingly, there are apologists who maintain infallibility. The Catholic Encyclopedia at newadvent.org referred to him as “one who for thirty-five years had conducted the affairs of the Roman chancery with rare ability and industry.” They also praised him, as “splendid and energetic” and cheerfully quote a diarist on the good pope’s amazing sense of justice. In between all those orgies, after all, Pope Alex wrote terrific canonical philosophy and defenses of the Christian faith.
Rodrigo died in 1503. Having dinner with a Cardinal, he took ill. His intestines bled and there was hideous purpling and peeling of the skin. The death may have been from malaria — but the legend may be true and fits perfectly — it was poetic justice when the Pope accidentally drank from the poisoned grail he’d intended for the Cardinal Adriano.
Lorette C. Luzajic writes about all kinds of interesting people at Fascinating People.
Very interesting, thanks!
The only thing… at that time Spain did not exist yet.
Spain didn’t exist? That’s news!
iirc, it was not yet a unified Kingdom.
One of the more interesting rumours regarding Alex VI was that he was actually an Atheist. I seriously doubt the truth of it, but it tickles my sense of irony.
Yes, technically Spain was created when the kingdoms of Castile and Aragon united in 1492. Rodrigo was born in Valencia, which is now Spain, and was then considered Catalan.
I could have conveyed the information just as precisely and more accurately by saying Catalan, although I guessed that many of us wouldn’t know where that is.
Cheers
L.
IMHO The Kingdom of Spain did not exist but Spain, the roman Hispania did.
Ferdinand and Isabella married in 1469. Effectively that was the creation of Spain,though there was 10 years of war about it.
1492 was when they conquered Granada in southern Spain, the last non Christian state in Western Europe.
I’m from Valencia :-)
Allen, though they were under the same king, there were several kingdoms til 1714.
Dang! This out-scandalises the Bold and The Beautiful sex-web by yards…
Very interesting post. And I thought all religious men that wear big funny hats were infallible and holy.
Absolute power should never be given to a man. But it’s much worse when that absolute power is believed to come from God.
Maybe he was infallible and holy, but his god wasn’t very moral. How can we know?
It seems that popes have always been the best role models. I mean he is only representing God on earth.
Clearly God wouldn’t have allowed this to proceed unless s/he didn’t exist.
Well, not really. God could be an asshole and just not care. God could be into orgies and murder and think that Borgia was absolutely the right man for the job. God could be utterly powerless to stop the evil that men do to other men and was sitting in Heaven the whole time wailing “why won’t someone stop him?” while impotently flailing his arms around. Or God could just have not noticed – maybe he took a century long nap and just missed that whole thing.
It only really gets to be a problem if you’re forced into what is really a false choice between either the existence of the standard “all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, all-good Christian God” or the existence of no God at all. The very existence of Pope Alexander VI is actually a good case for the non-existence of the standard model of the Christian God, but it doesn’t completely disprove the existence of other versions of God who might be less loving, less powerful, less good or more ignorant. (For example, the existence of Alexander VI says nothing towards the non-existence of Shiva, Horus, Dionysus or Thor).
I’ve always liked the Manichean dualist heresy of God having an Adversary that was of equal power to him – with Earth at the center of a real cosmic battle between equally matched forces of Good and Evil. That sort of thing solves a lot of theological problems that the monotheistic theology of only the All Everything One God of Christianity causes (like why do bad things happen to good people? Because the Adversary is a punk and God can’t stop him, that’s why). Probably a good thing that it never caught on, though – Christianity’s internally inconsistent theology is probably more responsible for atheism than any other aspect of the religion.
Given all the monstrous things their god does in the bible, I’m not willing to concede that he should be the one to represent “good.”
“Lorette C. Luzajic writes about all kinds of interesting people”
But I’ve noticed that she prefers long deceased, defenseless ones.
Of the nine articles so far, five are about living persons.
John, would you like to take up the defense for the infallibility of the orgies and slaughter, then?
Coming from a cowardly liar like you John, I think Lorette can take that as a compliment.
Poor Lucretia… There’s no evidence she had a single person murdered. No evidence she slept with anyone but her (chosen-by her father) husbands. And the poor girl is demonised for centuries due to anti-Borgia propaganda.
Rodrigo was a lusty, indulgent man who considered the Papacy just another kind of Princedom. With riches, good food and a chance at dynastic succession. Cesare was a bloodthirsty, syphallitic megalomaniac. We have evidence for these things.
We have very little evidence about Lucretia being into these things beyond her being seen at ‘lewd’ shows with her father, and her brother – a little psycho – was unnaturally obsessed with her. In fact, when Cesare murdered her husband, she was, by many accounts, absulutely devastated and torn between the loyalty-to-faily she’d been indoctrinated into and the duty/love she felt for the poor dude – whom she tried damn hard to protect.
She was probably – by the evidence – smart and aware that her family were far from sainthood… but there’snothing besides obviously slanderous rumours to suggest she indulged in anything nasty hersefl.
facinating post thanks. Reminds of this:
http://unreasonablefaith.com/2009/02/03/even-the-pope-needs-entertainment/
Great article. Great Blog. I will visit again.
thanks.
Tom the Sword Guy
The Popes, the Vicar of Jesus Authorized Divine Rights to Claim the “Land of Mind” of the Indigenous Peoples in the Name of the Holy Roman Empire.
The story begins with an earlier Inter Caetera which had been granted Portugal in 1456 by Alexander VI’s uncle, Pope Calixto III, the latest of a series of bulls which gave papal blessing to the simple political fact that Portugal was preeminent in navigational progress. It sanctified Portuguese exploration and occupation of islands and ports down the African coast “as far as the Indies” (usque ad Indos)—that is, Asia—and threatened any challengers with excommunication. Similarly, after the 1479 Treaty of Alcazobas ended Spain’s unsuccessful attempt to do so, Sixto IV’s Aeterni Regis of 1481 granted what had already been decided by naval artillery – Portuguese occupation of Atlantic islands like the Azores, Madeiras and Cape Verdes — and sanctioned all future such discoveries “in the Ocean Seas” (in mari oceano), the waters believed to surround the Eurasian land mass… Thus when Ferdinand V sent Columbus into those waters to reach the Indies, he was breaking the oath he had sworn at Alcozobas and defying papal excommunication.
On 17 April 1492, Christopher Columbus signed a commercial contract with… Ferdinand and Isabel, driving a hard bargain. He demanded the title of Admiral of the lands and waters to be discovered… Columbus also brought back the businesslike suggestion that, in the disappointing absence of any new gold mines, a slave trade might be instituted.
Columbus returned …on 4 March 1493, and anchored in the Tagus River off Lisbon. He announced his presence to Portuguese King John II, who told him that his discoveries obviously belonged to Portugal by virtue of the Treaty of Alcozobas and the bull Aeterni Regis, which Columbus reported to Ferdinand in Barcelona by sea mail from Palos… Ferdinand then instructed his procurators in Rome, Bishops Bernardino Lopez de Carvajal…, to start working for papal favors to remove the threat of excommunication posed by Aeterni Regis and recognize Spain’s rights to the new discoveries, whatever and wherever they might be…
As it happened, the Pope was just at that moment in need of favors himself. Born a Spaniard — Rodrigo Lanzol y Borja (Borgia) — he was already beholden to the Spanish crown for his 16-year-old son Cesare’s appointment as Archbishop of Valencia. Now he was trying to carve out an Italian fief for his eldest son Giovanni, Duke of Gandia, and had just annulled his daughter Lucrezia’s marriage to her Spanish husband to make a better match with Milanese Giovanni de Pesaro of the Sforza family..
… The Pope says he had learned that the Spanish monarchs, out of personal zeal to extend the Catholic faith to remote lands, sent Columbus sailing into the Ocean Sea “through western waters towards the Indies,” where he discovered certain unknown lands and islands. Therefore, to encourage an enterprise “so pleasing to immortal God, the Pope is hereby granting them those lands and ordering them to send missionaries out to convert their inhabitants.
Looking For The Pre-Hispanic Filipino by William Henry Scott
I love this Pope, I wish if I had life like him, I am ready to become a Roman Catholic!!! Thanks for posting great article.