If God wanted fundamentalists to be accepting of gays, wouldn’t he have given them some warmth and compassion to do so? But he didn’t, so it’s obvious he wants them to hate gays and strip them of their rights. Or at least that’s what an article in The Onion argues. As usual, a great point is made through satire. Here’s an excerpt:
I don’t question God. The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall put none above Him. Which is why I know that if it were part of God’s plan for me to stop viciously condemning others based solely on their sexual preference, He would have seen fit—in His infinite wisdom and all—to have given me the tiniest bit of human empathy necessary to do so.
It’s a simple matter of logic, really. God made me who I am, and who I am is a cold, anti-gay zealot. Thus, I abhor gay people because God made me that way. Why is that so hard to understand?
Here, let’s start with the basic facts: I hate and fear gay people. The way they feel is different from how I feel, and that causes me a lot of confusion and anger. Everyone knows God is all-powerful. He could easily have given me the capacity to investigate what’s behind those feelings rather than tell strangers in the park they’re going to hell for holding hands. But God clearly has another path for me. And who am I to question His divine will?
Compassion, tolerance, understanding, basic decency, the ability to put myself in another person’s position: God could have endowed me with any of those traits and yet—here is the crucial part—He didn’t. Why? Because the Creator of the Universe wants me to demonize homosexuals in an effort to strip them of their fundamental human rights.
I love the Onion. They have a way of saying what the rest of us are feeling but can’t exactly put into words.
Oh, Onion. You never fail to amuse with your witty satire and your hilarious headlines.
So, let’s see how that logic could work…
A.- If God wanted me to believe in him, he wouldn’t have given me the ability to critical reasoning. Then I would have been another zealot.
B.- Once he saw something failed in my creation -I assume a similar error as when he created all those animal species only to be extinguished-, and as he is all-knowing, he knows exactly what proofs I need to believe in him.
C.- So, either he doens’t exists, or he doesn’t want me to believe in him.
Therefore, you should stop trying to evangelize me against your God’s will.
D.- If he doens’t want me to believe in him, there are three options: hell doesn’t exist, I’m not going to be sent to hell only because I don’t believe in him, or he is a sadistic god who created me to be tortured for all the eternity
Have you ever tried this type of discussion with a christian? I have used similar ones and they were always trying to tap dance around answering any of the questions this brings up.
Usually they come closest to conceding that God is sadistic. Basically it comes down to them claiming that you have the free will to choose belief or non-belief, and that God wants you to believe even though he makes no effort to make you do so. If you do not, he will punish you forever, but he only punishes you forever because he loves you.
I think Christians’ definition of love does not resemble mine.
Usually The Onion makes me laugh or at least smile. This article is not the least bit funny to me. It sounds too much like the real truth, not a satirical take off on the truth.
Doesn’t the Bible say “Though shalt not judge”? Being gay may be unacceptable to God but what gives us the right to condemn others? They will answer for their sins. This excerpt is mean, nasty and very hurtful.
That whooshing sound you hear is the joke flying right over your head.
Please outline what exactly you think is their sin, Amanda? Unless you were talking about the judgemental idiots, not homosexuals.
Are ‘Christians’ allowed to have a sense of humor? It requires not taking everything as a personal attack, perhaps, but still, it ought to be allowed…
All I can say that when I was growing up in a christian home, everything was deadly serious. I developed my sense of humor as an adult. Had to, to stay sane. But the christians (at least in my particular culture), you had to be careful with them. I remember giggling REALLY annoyed my pastor dad – it wasn’t allowed. It was frivolous and meant we were not taking this life-and-death situation of accepting jesus seriously enough. You could occasionally laugh at the banal, but you always had to watch yourself. Now, I make a point of having a bit of a black sense of humor. It’s WONDERFUL for mental health. And it doesn’t mean I don’t take things seriously, either (I’m aware that this is a serious answer to a joke, but needed to share this)
The sad part of this article is that there are some christians that see it just this way, just not as bluntly as the article says it.
Exactly. Usually The Onion distances itself enough from reality to be seen as satire, but this article seemed like it was about 95% accurately describing some of the Christian views I have come across.
Having grown up in a very christian culture, I know EXACTLY what the reaction of christians would be when they read this article. They would have that sad, knowing look…then turn to me with moist eyes and say that they absolutely LOVE homosexuals – it just makes god very, very sad when they have sex with people of like genitalia. Love the sinner, hate the sin. They may condemn the very fundamental NATURE of homosexuals, and not accept them for who they are, and tell them that they will burn in hell for eternity for something over which they have no control…but they LOVE them, honest! This is why they want to deprive them of a satisfying sex life and insist that they “turn” hetero – MUCH better to live a lie and please god than to be who you are and please MAN and his CARNAL DESIRES.
Oh, yeah…I forgot…if god made you a homophobic, intolerant sadist, maybe he made that other guy a … HOMOSEXUAL???!!!??? And who are YOU to question god’s infinite wisdom?
If gays are going to burn for eternity anyway, what’s the point of harrassing them here on Earth?
Because being gay is the worst possible sin, so they need to be persecuted on both sides of the River Styx. Duh.
Maybe I’m confused, but I don’t see any ‘God’ hating and harming the gay people he created. So, what, he needs proxies? Maybe ‘Christians’ are actually given their marching orders by that devil guy! According to what they say about Mr. Devil and Mr. God, it’s not the nice sky-man who does the bad stuff, is it? Or maybe Mr. God created ‘Christians’ specifically to hate people, ’cause that’s what it looks like. Maybe his ‘Creation’ requires hatefulness? But doesn’t that book say that Mr. God loves all his creations as his children, or something like that? How can this be reconciled? I guess I am confused.
Whadyamean, the Devil make christians often cruel and intolerant (even when they think they are being “loving”???) Interesting thought. This would make sense if I believed in the red guy with the pitchfork, actually.
Because if your neighborhood/city/state/country tolerates homosexuality, God might go all Sodom and Gomorrah on your ass. Seriously.
‘Christians’ are making it really hard for me to tolerate them. Seriously.