This fundie thinks I sound confused and should see if the Holy Spirit talks back to me:
Hey dude you sound confused, it is never too late to change your heart and mind ’bout the LORD cause the “day you see hell it will be to late”…for all your reasoning’s are not good enough. You need to ask the Holy Spirit to show you the truth. Give yourself a chance when I ask the Holy Spirit a ???’s he answers me.
Someone said in the comments a few days back that they don’t fear people who talk to God — they fear people who think God talks back. I think this might apply here.
Never too late to change your mind? I thought the bible already stated that once you deny the holy spirit it’s game over and no continues.
No, if you blaspheme against the Holy Spirit you are lost.
Though I wonder if it would make the God-botherers stop trying to convert you.
Which would lead to awesome business cards to give to evangelists.
“Blasphemed against the Holy spirit Last Year.
Lost cause. Move on.”
I want that on a t-shirt!
:)
Would it help against Jehova’s Witlesses? Seriously. They’ve stopped by 3 times in the past 4 months.
I put up a NO SOLICITORS sign that either a) worked or b) didn’t matter because they stopped coming anyway.
I usually greet them with the following phrase as I…”I’d love to open to door but at the moment I am completely naked and covered in pancake syrup”. So far they always leave without hesitation.
*** nix “as I” ***
Our standard is telling them how much Satan loves them. They usually let it go at that.
Except for the ones that knock on my door at 8 am on a Saturday, then they meet Satan in person.
@Geek Girl — You made my day!
If you told this guy it wasn’t too late to accept Muhammed, and once he dies and goes to Islamic Hell, it’ll be too late for him to change his mind, would he be convinced?
Why does he expect anyone else to be convinced by such weak reasoning?
Well, he doesn’t seem to be the sharpest crayon in the box…
“gee, it’s a shame you didn’t get here 5 minutes ago when I blasphemed against the holy spirit.”
“If you dont leave I’ll be forced to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit. You don’t want that on your conscience, do you?”
“If you don’t leave I’ll be forced to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit. The blast radius is…substantial. You don’t want any of that to get on you, do you?”
Damnation by proxy. Well, why not – the Bible has many accounts of cities, countries, persons, and peoples being damned exclusively on the grounds of their geographical, cultural, or genealogical affiliations. When it comes to dishing out punishment, God prefers cluster bombing to surgical strikes.
The problem with surgical strikes is clearly they are not cinematic enough.
I am now worried that god is Michael Bay.
No, if God were Michael Bay the Bible would have considerably more passages where Jesus outruns a series of giant explosions.
And Mary Magdalene would be played by Megan Fox. There’d be an utterly gratuitous scene of her splayed across the altar in the Temple while having a conversation with Jesus.
Mmmmm. Meagan Fox…. *drool*
MICHAEL BAY RAPED MY ALTARBOY
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Raped%20My%20Childhood
“You are confused. But you will be better when you hear voices inside your head.”
My imaginary friends always answer me, too. They usually give bad advice, though.
My response would have been, “Well, my imaginary sky friend can totally beat up your imaginary sky friend.”
Not only can my imaginary sky friend beat up his imaginary sky friend, but mine tastes better with garlic bread, too….
rAmen
*burp*
Ditto on the scary part. I wonder what kind of questions he asks the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spririt is so good at giving advice, he should start a column…I’m just saying.
His consistent misuse of apostrophes frighten me.
Aw, man, all the good comments have been taken!
Why is it that the fundies so often tend to be bad with grammar? Is God too preoccupied with whether us mere mortals are thinking about (gay) sex to be able to teach us half-decent language skills?
it’s all the fault of the builders of the Tower of Babel
I fear people who can’t use punctuation correctly.
I just don’t get why god or jeebus need use distasteful people to do their promotional work. If it what I believed mattered, wouldn’t they want to convince me personally and remove all my doubt?
Hey look! Is that a burning bush? Wait, no, just some christianists burning down other people’s houses because the the furniture scares them…
If it were true that you could just ask the holy spirit, I’d still be a Christian. I begged and pleaded with the Christian god to make himself real to me. I’m still waiting.
You may be waiting, but are you really looking?
Not sure what you mean. Looking where? God is supposed to be omnipresent.
I used a microscope and found god to be so tiny that he couldn’t even be found.
Last I saw, he was nailed to a big plus sign in this really old empty building.
Hmmm…there I have never checked.
Wow, his eloquence and articulate plea will surely turn the tide of human history.