Farmer Discovers “Holy Egg”

It’s a miracle!

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Wow, you mean given enough time and eggs, you end up getting a soft one with an impression of a chicken foot? Hallelujah! Irrefutable proof of the existence of the Invisible Pink Unicorn!

Then again, maybe it’s Jesus’ way of commanding us to say, “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays.”

This entry was posted in Christianity, Faith, Humor, Oh the Stupidity!. Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to Farmer Discovers “Holy Egg”

  1. Custador says:

    Oh you ARE kidding me! Eggs are laid with the shell still soft – Is this woman insae or just attention seeking?

  2. juryjone says:

    This dovetails neatly with the Argument from Tinkerbell.

  3. Unladenswallow says:

    Daniel posted this a while back. It’s perfect for this post.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpS5KRLGSmg

  4. BD says:

    Wow Texans are fucking stupid.

    In case anyone missed it, the eggs is covered in lines the same width as the ‘cross’. This means the chicken probably stepped on it a few times before nailing it once with precision.

    Like I said, holy fuck these people are stupid.

  5. Jasper says:

    1) God is perfect, infinite, and he shows his glory through the perfection of his design.
    2) Found a misshaped cross imprinted on an egg.
    3) Therefore, God exists.

  6. Cletus says:

    Now there’s something worth worshiping. What they neglected to report was that that particular chicken was a virgin — having never been anywhere near a rooster.

    Blessed is that chicken’s . . .

    Oy.

  7. Mark D says:

    Yet again, god proves his existence through parlor tricks.
    But why did god make Penn & Teller better magicians then himself?

  8. fftysmthg says:

    Now that was truly news worthy!

  9. Jeff Hope says:

    More proof that religion is for the morons.

  10. nelly says:

    that looks like the impression from the very last place that egg was attached to

    praise jeebus

  11. DDM says:

    Texas. What more needs to be said?

  12. dar7yl says:

    Lady, your chicken is sick. Please consult a Veterinarian. Your priest does not have the necessary qualifications to diagnose the problem.

  13. Elliott says:

    I love that the creator of the entire f*cking universe communicates with his/her creation with arguably random indentations an a chicken egg.

    Gee, I guess his masterpiece is so tightly fabricated that he can barely squeeze through a pathetic image of a cross, or the likeness of a bearded dude on a tortilla from time to time.

    I guess there’s an answer to “can God create a rock so big he himself cannot move it?” after all.

    Yes. Apparently he can.

  14. Offred says:

    Thank you all for the hilarious comments! I really needed this today=)

    Someone on Youtube said they should kill the chicken and check out the entrails! (and I would then make soup…)

  15. Pingback: It’s A Holy Egg! | Miscellanea Agnostica

  16. Yoav says:

    Holy Sh*t.

  17. Aaron says:

    heh, Texas.

    this sort of thing causes an override in my brain, wherein all rational counterpoints are thrown away in favour of a simple “… fuck’s sakes.”

  18. faithnomore says:

    And if there had been some other shape that could have slightly resembled some other religions’ symbol, it would have simply been tossed as a misformed egg by this woman. Meaning, she would have missed the great message from….well, you name the god.

    What’s embarassing is that some news station actually reported on it!

  19. Olaf says:

    If she calls this a miracle, then how will she react if is she sees a eal niracle?

  20. Travis says:

    Behold the power of our all-powerful God! How can anyone still be an atheist after witnessing such a life-changing miracle?

  21. Baconsbud says:

    Wow you mean when I was a kid, that those few soft shelled eggs we ate were holy. Damn guess I am going to hell for sure now. I guess my dad was wrong about them needing some time of mineral to ensure they didn’t have more of those types of eggs. Sorry have to go with my dad on this.

  22. encantadora says:

    “…the best christmas present you could ever open” Her husband needs some serious help shopping !!

    How long does it take a ‘holy egg’ to start stinking?

  23. Chris P says:

    To be exact, the chicken has bronchitis and should be killed. Apparently Texas killed a retarded man instead.

  24. Zeno Telos says:

    Reminds me of that old Chinese proverb:

    Give a man an egg, he has food for a meal.
    Give a man an egg with a mark, he will be your servant for a lifetime.

  25. Zarathustra says:

    I am starting a new branch of Christianity: The Disciples of the Holy Relics. We will worship a new, potentially holy food or consumer item each week.

  26. mahousniper says:

    It’s an X, sent by The Flying Spaghetti Monster to communicate His Holy Noodliness to all his devout pirates! He was showing that the life inside eggs is treasure to him!

  27. Warren S says:

    jesus fucking christ – how dumb can you get

  28. Atticus says:

    Will it be unholy when it starts to rot?

    • bondgrrl says:

      My thought exactly. Is she going to extract the insides and just keep the shell? Maybe the egg won’t rot because, as she so eloquently put it in an entirely new way that’s never been said before, “God did it.”

      I was laughing my butt off imagining News Lady saying, “WHAT crap story do I have to drive out to Nowhere, Texas to cover??” And then, of course, you can see it in her face when she’s standing in the coop. “Mmmmm. Chicken shit smells gggrrrrEEAAAT! I love my job!”

  29. Matthew says:

    By its yoke ye shall know . . . nah, I’m just . . . yoking! Get it? HAHAHAHA

  30. Bissrok says:

    If I was a deity, this is exactly how I would communicate with the world at large. Two lines (indicating the device humans used to brutally torture me to death) in the center of an egg laid in Texas. Yup. Can’t think of a clearer message than that.

  31. Len says:

    She said that she’s seen many miracles. Such as?
    And wouldn’t Easter be more appropriate than Christmas?
    And don’t forget this: http://www.jesusandmo.net/2009/11/26/time/

  32. zack says:

    OMG ewww is she worshiping a dead baby chicken fetus. wtf……. nasty.. *The Shinning Theme Music* yea, shes certifiable crazy!

  33. Roger says:

    What a fucking idiot. The impression looked like a sword to me. I guess that means it’s a message to go forth to Best Buy and pillage the store!

  34. INFIDELS FOR ALLAH says:

    This reminds me of that time when that Mexican lady saw the face of Jesus on her toast.
    Let us pray. Turn your cook books to (Bullshit 16:4)
    And the lord Jesus said ” If any man shall eat of my flesh ( breadsticks) and drink of my blood (Prego sauce) he shall inherit eternal life. ( all you can eat). But if any man taste of the Ragu and eat of the ravioli, he shall be called least in the kingdom. Woe unto those who doth not live of the lasagna. I am the bread of life. I am from the yoke of David and EGGraham!” And Jesus left the apostles in awe to go pray in the mountains to Flying Spaghetti Monster. RAmen.

  35. INFIDELS FOR ALLAH says:

    @ Leo

    You’ve been deceived. The lord says ” Let no man marinate you.”

  36. nazani14 says:

    You dumb biddy, you are not giving your hens enough oyster shell -or, the hen has an infection that is making the shells soft, so they get wrinkled as they pass.

  37. nazani14 says:

    Oh, oh, just stumbled across a youtube video with a wrinkled egg that supposedly says “Allah.” In fact there’s a lot of videos that show the Arabic word Allah in beetroots, in the fur of animals, etc. Don’t you wish he’d make up his mind?

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