Garrison Keillor wrote “Nonbelievers, please leave Christmas alone” and it’s created some controversy. Keillor says:
If you don’t believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn “Silent Night” and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism, and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write “Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we’ll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah“? No, we didn’t.
Christmas is a Christian holiday — if you’re not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don’t mess with the Messiah.
Christmas does not need any improvements.
I take offense is when he says, “Christmas is a Christian holiday — if you’re not in the club, then buzz off.” In our culture, Christmas is a secular holiday, not only a religious holiday. It’s actually a pagan holiday if you want to get technical. Families get together not to celebrate the birth of Jesus but to give gifts, eat food, and be together.
Now of course most Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas, but to say that it is only a Christian’s holiday, and not anyone else’s, is simply wrong. I’m an atheist and I love Christmas — but not because it has anything to do with a made-up birthdate. I enjoy it because I enjoy giving. I enjoy being with friends and family. And I especially enjoy eating.
A close friend of mine once told me he usually opts out of Christmas because it’s phony. And I said, well of course it’s phony: we don’t believe in God!
For people like me (see all previous posts for identity overshare) Christmas can be, at best (and I always try to take it at best), lots of wonderful things anyway. It’s a time to shovel out the charms of winter; to warm up before the icy desolation of January and February; to have a good excuse to give things to people I love, which also means thinking fondly of them; to produce new running socks and body scrub from a stocking, along with, one year, pepper spray (thanks, Mom!); to bejewel a tree; to get together with family (one of the only times of year everybody has enough time off to do it); and to feast on and laugh at the cheerful, nostalgic buffet of the season’s low art.
And for people unlike me, who do believe in a Christian God, don’t they also enjoy the secular spin-offs of the holiday? On my mission trip to Alaska with Falwell’s church half of our group spent a day at the Santa Claus House in North Pole buying keepsake ornaments for friends, sitting on Santa’s lap, and petting reindeer (although one girl did buy a book for her nephew about Santa feeling guilty for stealing Jesus’ thunder). The only thing that struck anyone as odd was that it was July. I mean, even though evergreen trees and Snoopy ornaments and gingerbread men and “A Christmas Story” and Starburst-colored electric lights don’t have much to do with the birth of Jesus, do they necessarily diminish it? Wouldn’t Christmas feel kind of stark without all that? [...]
And here’s a thought: if the dilution of Christianity rankles you so, maybe stay out of Unitarian churches? Or maybe just add another dobble of rum to your nog, and chill out a little?
The Baltimore sun also got some angry letters about Keillor’s rant. It seems to me it’s Keillor who needs to leave Christmas alone and stop being a grinch — let people enjoy this holiday, even if they don’t celebrate the birth of a god.
I don’t understand what he is ranting about except that he buys into the “War on Christmas” meme. Of course, I’ve never understood Keillor’s attraction and his self-absorbed “folk-wisdom” that, at best, is a mile wide and a foot deep. I agree with you, Daniel, it is Keillor who should leave Xmas alone.
I didn’t know Keillor was on that tired ol’ campaign.
Well crowed, Daniel, Gina Welch, and Wikipedia!
Keillor is a satirist, or so I thought. Is it possible he doesn’t genuinely believe this? In other words, couldn’t this be facetious and sarcastic and not his genuine thinking on the matter?
I’m not saying this must be the case. I am, however, saying that, since it’s Keillor we’re talking about, we can’t necessarily take this at face value without at least considering it might be an example of “purposeful absurdity.”
Garrison does satire, indeed. I wondered about that. It’s even harder to get “tone” in email than it is to get it from Garrison’s low, slow, even, straightforward, mock-serious voice.
The Lutheran Sons of Knute probably need Christmas to be as austere as the northern winter wind. They would be flummoxed by too much levity. Or as the padre on MASH would say, “Jocularity.”
Keillor can be hit or miss for me, but I agree with PsiCop that he’s primarily a satirist. But if this is satire, he;s missed the mark and produced a Poe instead. As for me, I may go to church this Christmas as a gift to my grandmother so she can show me off. I won’t be there to celebrate the birth of a god because I don;t believe in God, but would Keillor really want me to stay away even though it will my grandmother so happy?
Yeah, it sounds like the time Roger Ebert parroted Creationist claims word for word, and then got upset that people took him seriously rather than realising that he was crafting a satire on a par with A Modest Proposal…
Keillor’s gotten into trouble before with his wistful “even the nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be” writings. I think he put too much of the “You kids get off my lawn!” attitude into this one.
I have to admit, a little bit of Keillor goes a long way. I can listen to one episode of “Writer’s Almanac”
and be good for the rest of the year. I kind of wish he go away for a bit, or just get another shtick.
I left a comment pointing out that if Keillor excoriates nonbelievers then he’s also dissing himself, as he’s a nonbeliever, too. He merely nonbelieves something different than whatever the other nonbelievers nonbelieve in.
I mention this because I’ve had people insist to me, in all seriousness, that “everybody’s a nonbeliever in something.” They weren’t always amused when asked to specify what it was that they nonbelieved in.
We atheists can’t have it both ways. We can agree with Justice Scalia that the cross is not a Christian symbol, and therefore allow its display on public property, or it is, and its display on public property is forbidden by the Constitution. If Christmas doesn’t belong to Christians, then all the objections to nativity scenes at post offices go by the boards.
Merry Fucking Christmas, Garrison Keillor.
I assumed it to be satire, too, but that’s the problem these days – it is getting harder and harder to tell parody from extremism!
Hmm, I didn’t catch the satire if there is any.
It wouldn’t be the first time his satire fell flat. A piece he wrote for Salon called “Stating the Obvious” caused quite a stir in the LGBT blogosphere, and Keillor even issued an apology of sorts.
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/03/garrison_keillors_apology
Either way, nice how Christians shoved pagans and other religions out of the holidays, then get mad when someone tries to take “Christ out of Christmas”!
I can’t imagine he’s serious. Another vote for satire.
My cousin’s wife from Alabama did her little status update the otther day, “I can hardly wait for CHRISTmas!” Huh? I don’t get this. Because she’s not giving all her belongings to beggers & spending the day praying. She is a good illustration of something I see frequently- a middle class young family with children, VERY religious, also VERY attached to Americana. Norman Rockwell stuff. Fat trees at xmas, pix of the kids on Santa’s lap easter egg hunts (at the church! hello!). It’s like the pro-american xtains mixing their relision with patriotism, then going to walmart & loading up on junk made in china.
And of course they don’t get the strange coincidences of christmas being so close to the older celebration of solstice, or the rebirth of Jesus at easter being so close to older fertility celebrations.
I’m going with satire on this one, Regis. That’s my final answer.
First, we know that Keillor is a non-believer. This would be a huge change of course for him to start defending belief.
Every paragraph drips with humor. Odd Wodehousian abbreviations like “W.L.A.” (World’s leading authority). Geniuses disappearing into potholes? Harvard ex-president Lawrence Summers might’ve been an excellent janitor?
I mean, who would seriously deride nonbelievers for nefariously introducing chestnuts, figgy pudding, and Christmas trees into the holiday? Finally, his second most wonderful Christmas was in Norway, which he hopes to never repeat?
Keillor knows that no columnist ever lost his job for offending nonbelievers. So he crafts a nuanced satirical piece that appears to offend nonbelievers but does double duty by pointing out all the non-religious elements of Christmas that believers inconsistently defend and couldn’t do without either. That’s a gift I can celebrate!
Wikipedia says he’s Episcopalian. Going by his show alone, one would very well think he’s a non-believer. He does constantly poke fun at various faiths, rituals, etc.
I think it’s satire as well. A literal reading doesn’t jive with everything I’ve heard of his.
First, we know that Keillor is a non-believer.
I have no idea where you got that notion.
I don’t know where that came from either, but I am a Minnesotan and listen to him a lot. He did a very funny atheism piece on the radio a couple weeks ago and listening to his show regularly I only suspect he is a non-believer, but cannot state that as fact.
Christmas is a Christian holiday – if you’re not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don’t mess with the Messiah.
1) Keillor is a humorist. It is just possible that he is trying to be funny. It would not be the first time he did not succeed in his efforts.
2) Note the distinction between Christmas and Yule.
3) Note the failure to note that the Christmas holiday was stolen from pagans. Remember the bit in the Bible about Jesus H. Christ decorating a conifer tree with tinsel and lights after he was born on December 25? Neither do I.
I’ll admit he’s cast a wide net with “if you’re not in the club, buzz off”, but I read that more as “quit messing with our customs — either use them as-is or get your own”. I take his beef to be a bit more nuanced than that of your average Christmas Warriors.
In any case, I don’t agree with his point. Things change, and they always will. In a secularizing society, this sort of thing is inevitable. We’re all the rightful owners of “Silent Night”, as much as that might distress him. I’m of fan of his, but he is a bit of a curmudgeon.
Did one of our guys write “Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we’ll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah“? No, we didn’t.
Orrin Hatch, senator from Utah and a Mormon, wrote a Hannukah song.
This is my same problem with skeptics and The X-Files. You are not familiar with the source material enough to comment on it. Richard Dawkins said in Unweaving the Rainbow that The X-File ALWAYS resorts to the supernatural. NO! It does not. The off-episodes it almost always has some natural explanation, even if it has something to do with cryptozoology. The only supernatural episode I can think of off the top of my head is the Bruce Campbell episode where he is a demon that wants to have a normal baby. Oh, and there’s that psychic kid, but fuck him.
This is the same. You are not familiar with Garrison Keillor. I live in Minnesota and only listen to public radio in my car, so I am exposed to him a lot. He is a comedian in some sorts and his comedy is based rural Minnesotans. What he wrote is what a typical rural Minnesotan would say, not him. In fact, I’m pretty sure he is not a theist. He actually did a great piece on atheism a couple weeks ago that I heard on the radio.
I know what it’s like being a skeptic and jumping the gun, which is exactly what you did. Try a bit more to become somewhat an armchair expert before you post, though.
Ironically, you’ve accused me of not being familiar without be familiar enough with me to know that. I’ve listened to Keillor many times. I know he’s a comedian. I own some of his books. This did not come off as satire to me. There seems to be a split on whether his point is serious or not.
If it is satire, it’s not very good satire IMO.
Nice point, you got me there. But I am pretty sure he is an atheist. I hear this guy every week. And if this is satire as I suspect, it is perfectly fitting for him. When he makes fun of Minnesotans he says exactly what a Minnesotan would say and we get it. So exchange “Minnesotan” with “christian.”
Still, even though you may have a few books, you should listen to 20 or so of his shows to fully understand his style of humor. His books are not like his stage performances.
Do you happen to have a link to him talking about atheism? I’m curious now.
Ack.. this sentence, that is:
“You can blame Ralph Waldo Emerson for the brazen foolishness of the elite.”
Christmas is a Christian holiday…
Christmas does not need any improvements. It is a common, ordinary experience that resists brilliant innovation. Just make some gingerbread persons and light three candles and sing softly in dim light about the poor man gathering winter fu-u-el and the radiant beams and the holly and the ivy, and you’ve got it.
What do any of those things have to do with the birth of Jesus H. Christ? I think Keillor has been celebrating Yule and mistaking it for Christmas all along.
See my above comment. He’s an entertainer. The poster of this topic was not fluent in the comedy of said entertainer.
Whether or not Keillor was writing satire is beside the point. This is the sort of crap the war on christmas folks believe. Well too bad, one group doesn’t get to tell everyone else what any aspect of culture should mean to them. This is very familiar christian stuff. If they can’t make people think and behave the way they want then they are being persecuted.
Interestingly, we (the swedes) have the same word for Christmas and yule. (Jul). I think it’s quite telling…
I don’t get it. I haven’t been bothering Christmas. Who’s the guilty party? Raise your hand.
Present! It’s me. I’ve been sending “holiday cards” rather than Christmas cards for the last 20 years or so.
Hands off the Solstice! Those Xians have perverted the meaning of ancient pagan symbols and sullied the season with commercialism. Also, I have to wonder what those shepherds were doing in the fields with their flocks when it was in the low 40s (F) in Palestine in December. Not exactly prime grazing.
Actually, he has a point. Yule is the older holiday and has all the fun elements of Christmas without the Christian stuff. We ought to be celebrating yule.
In that vein, since I’m not likely to have internet again from a few hours from now until Christmas Eve…
God Jul, min venner!
If he’s not serious, it’s not funny.
If he is serious, he’s being an ass about it.
(And before I get accused of it as well, I am very familiar with Keillor’s work.)
We athiests have at least one holiday song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4wVRcE5gIs
Unless you think that Keillor’s antisemitic, yeah, it’s satire. Like Wintermute said, just as Ebert was in his creationist post–i.e., he wrote failed satire. If the piece doesn’t get increasingly ridiculous and/or offensive, some people aren’t going to pick up on it.
Funny how no one notices that “Keep your Jew hands offen our Christmas musics!” bit. That’s the “feed the Irish their babies” tip off.
I really do not want to hear this crap from Christians after what Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron did to Origin of Species. They did it to us first.
This makes me want to smear Christmas even more.
Why try to ruin Christmas for so many? American is a Christian country and freedom of speech or not – it’s an outrage to blatantly try to ruin the holiday spirit for millions of people. These terrible people are proselytizing – isn’t that what they’re against? Look at this! Tictacdo – step by step instructions on how to reject Jesus. What a crying shame… targeting our youth directly.
Who’s trying to ruin xmas? Celebrate it all you want… but keep the government out of it.
ORLY?
It must be exhausting for you to constantly be so paranoid, although I suppose being deluded makes it easier.
Merry Christmas to all you other Christmas-celebrating atheists.
The Dumb is strong with this one.
The so-called “War on Christmas” is getting old. It’s a non-issue to distract us from real issues. It’s just a shame that xtians are freaking out. I had one xtian acquaintance tell me it’s called a “CHRISTmas tree”…you know..to prove a point…then they wonder why we ridicule them.
The people behind this and those who support it will certainly rot in hell. There time will come too.
Usually I delete comments like this, but I’ll leave this one up just for amusement. Look everyone, an ignorant bigot!
(slows down on the information superhighway and rubbernecks)
“Take a good look guys, that’s what a crazy person looks like.”
Behind what?
Bad Satire?
Antisemitism?
Midwestern Folksiness?
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
What the hell was THAT??