Rechelle has a new post apologizing for “being such a huge shit head for all those years.” So many of us former believers can relate to this. I’ve said so many terrible, demeaning things to people in the name of religion.
Here are some excerpts from her apology:
1. I apologize to all the homosexuals. I am sorry that I believed in a religion that condemns you. [...] I am sorry that when I no longer thought the bible was right about homosexuality being a sin, I did not raise a gigantic stink about it every Sunday right in the middle of the sermon… week after week after week… until the church issued a restraining order against me and I could no longer come within a hundred feet of the sanctuary.
2. I apologize to everyone on the face of the earth that has not accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior because I believed that you were all going to hell.
3. I apologize to all my former Sunday school students because I taught you that the bible was the word of god. I perpetuated a myth that the bible is a special book that should be regarded ‘much more highly than it ought’. [...] I apologize for always referring to god as a ‘he’, thereby further anthropomorphizing a pretend deity and making you think ‘he’ was real and decidedly masculine. I apologize for teaching you to think that you were a sinner and that Jesus had to die for you when you are really just a beautiful child, perfect in every way from the minute you were born (except for when you aren’t).
I apologize for telling you that Jesus conquered death and that you should put your trust in him when there is not a shred of evidence of the resurrection except for what is in the bible. I apologize for not respecting your intelligence and glazing over thorny issues and rationalizing all the bullshit that is so present at all times in ‘god’s word’. (I apologize for saying bullshit in this apology).
I apologize for ever calling the bible ‘god’s word’. It isn’t ‘god’s word’. It’s just a book. There are a lot of other much better books. There are books that helped humanity move beyond misogyny and slavery and tyranny. There are books that led to scientific discoveries which led to medicine and helpful machines and made the world a better place. None of those books are in the bible. [...]
I apologize for not telling you that the bible and christianity are two of the main reasons that it took people so long to move from tyranny into democracy, from slavery to human rights, from cruel religious mandates to civil law. I hope someday you will figure that out for yourselves in spite of what I taught you.
4. I apologize for giving money to the church. I apologize for helping to support and pay for a building that stands empty six days a week. I apologize for giving my hard earned cash to pay an enormous utility bill on a mostly empty church building. I wish I would have given all that money to alleviate real human suffering.
5. I apologize for believing all sorts of mad things that are seriously messed up and incredibly hurtful to my fellow humans. Things like god causes the sins of the parents to punish the children and the grandchildren (which some christians use to explain birth defects). Things like excusing the extra creepy stuff in the bible (slavery, misogyny, genocide) based on ‘historical context’ instead of just insisting that it was wrong back then and it’s wrong now.
6. I apologize to my kids for being a passive aggressive christian mom.
7. Finally, I apologize for allowing my faith to numb my response to the problems of the world.
For all these things I am truly sorry and I most humbly repent…
AND plan to make changes, repair damages and do the hokey pokey and turn myself around.
Those are just the highlights, make sure to read the whole thing! It’s always enjoyable to read someone who is seeing things from a new perspective and the passion that results from that. Plus, she’s funny.
I really wish that she’d turn the comments back on her blog. I understand why she turned them off, but I would just to tell her that I know exactly how she feels! Giving up your religion can be a hard thing to do, saying it out loud and admitting it to the world is even harder.
I wish her site had comments open — I’d stand up and applaud. And then give her a hug. What she has done is such a hard thing to do, and she really needs to know how supportive our community can really be.
Forgiven
“For all these things I am truly sorry and I most humbly repent…
AND plan to make changes, repair damages and do the hokey pokey and turn myself around”
Christians repent, and then they do the same errors again (well, not all of them, “only” most).
Maybe we could simply acknowledge the error and change?
Her point is that she’s no longer a Christian and has realized all the crappy things she did to people. Lots of us went through that phase. It’s almost like there’s a 12-Step Program for de-religioning.
Hopefully she will change. One of the biggest problems with any major life change that results in realizing you’ve been wrong is to then say, “I don’t believe in [this] anymore, therefore I won’t be the person I was,” without realizing that there are many, many more causes than simply believing in Thing X.
That’s actually one of the biggest problems with people going the other way. Consider Chuck Colson, who was Tricky Dick’s asshole hatchetman. He came to Christianity, decided it had changed him, and is now Jesus’s asshole hatchetman. Nothing changed but his justifications.
But at least when you move to a more skeptical direction it opens up the ability to say, “Maybe I should reconsider everything and really think it through.” In the other direction it’s just, “Jesus made me all better!” and no reflection is necessary. Or welcome, for that matter.
The problem with the notion of a “12 Step program for de-religioning” is that that pesky Step 2.
“Come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
she’s taken a huge step in recovering from all the crap she had to regurgitate to free herself from the burden of the invisible sky master. l hope she can find solace and peace. I have a feeling she already has to some degree :)
I too wish she could turn on the comments so I could tell her that she is stating exactly how I felt…But I’m sure Dan can let her know the support we’re all giving her…
I tried (yesterday and just now) to post a comment on Rechelle’s site, but I can’t find where/how (also on older posts). Daniel, if you have contact with Rechelle, please give her my encouragement.
Rechelle has posted at the end of the other thread – you could try posting a response there…
Just did, thanks.
I loved this! As a former Christian, there are a lot of things to look back on and consider. Not all bad, mind you. Still, Rochelle gets a lot of key issues that a personal of faith experiences. #7 struck home for me!
There is material here for a bestselling book. She has a real gift with words and a real story to tell.
Go to her website and do a search for the article named: Chores. Open the article and you’ll find a couple of her email addresses.
Assuming they’re still in use, she might respond.
she should just comment here with us!
She did – on the other thread…
Ok will look – thanks!
Message to Rechelle :
STOP losing time asking for forgiveness and start living a wonderful life.
The blog post should have been:
“Oops I made a mistake by believing an old book to be true. It won’t happen again sorrryyyyyyyy…”
I wish my daughter would read this. What a bold and refreshing commentary. Religion is scary and addicting. Rechelle, you inspire me.
Rechelle, welcome to the world of the godless. I needed no apologies, but I was touched by the thought. Well done.
Parenting as a godless heathen can be challenging, but there are lots of great resources out there. My little 7 year old daughter is already starting to feel the pressures of small town mentality. You’ve already learned how terrible people can be when you lack belief in their god. Don’t think for a second they won’t go after your kids too. I’m not trying to be overly dramatic, but people are,,, weird. Tell your sons to lay low, but stand up for themselves and their rights.
I hope one day it will be easier living ‘out’, but there are still far too many loving Christians who would like to spit in our faces.
I commend Rochelle (or is it Rechelle?) on being brave enough to admit these wrongs that many religious people still claim that they’re not doing. You clearly have realized just how odd it is to believe in the truth of one cultural/social/religious view over another and truly understands the difficulty people have giving up their cultural beliefs. Deprogramming religion is one of the hardest things to do and can really upset your social life. Now things should be clearer and you can focus on making your life and the world better, rather than worrying about trying to change other people’s beliefs(which I believe can only be changed by them).
I wanted to send this to every christian I know! I have to be careful not to be seen as prosthelizing for atheism, because then I’ll have to write an apology of my own…but I’m emailing this to myself and will look for opportunities to pass it on!
It is my hope that Rechelle will continue to share with us her experiences with her family and friends as much as she feels comfortable. I know several secular homeschoolers who stay hedged/closeted about their lack of belief to their families and peers because they fear the emotional fallout. And I agree with the comment that she needs to write a book!
Awesome! What a refreshing statement! Now it’s time for Rechelle to live life for the scarcity and the joy of it, to do good things for the sake of being a good human being, and to love because she can. I wish her all the best and sincerely thank her for her candid bravery.
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It is obvious, and unfortunate that Rechelle is just one more in a long line of supposed “Christians” who had no idea what the gospel is really about which is evidenced by her long list of apologies tied to beliefs, rules, morals, judgments, etc. Those are merely external, hypocritical (in the true sense of the word) “values” that could never afford her the Life and Liberty her heart longs for, could never set her free.
She hasn’t “converted” to anything, but has merely (and wisely) shed her previously held “values” that did her no good, that only served to bind her in the merciless grip of religiosity and hypocrisy.
Good for her, now the real journey begins.
“Supposed ‘Christians’”?
Come off it.
Such a typical response. If she didn’t believe what you believe about god/christianity then she wasn’t a “real christian” . She doesn’t need anything or anyone to “set her free” she already is! Good for her for realizing it !!
This isn’t the place to be complaining about Christians. We’re supposed to be celebrating her success and wish her luck. If she was as devout of a Christian as it sounds, she probably has a lot of people angry at her right now.
I think many of the former christians on this site did the same thing, and yes, we are free now!
John C. — was that supposed to be a supportive comment? Because you come off judgemental and rude, which is sad in my opinion. She doesn’t need comments such as yours here..she’ll get enough of that in her rl.
“I most humbly repent”
repent to whom?
I suspect she is repenting to actual people she has hurt through her religious beliefs in the past. How refreshing – acknowledging wrongdoing to people, who actually exist.
I actually suspect she was being ironical.
That would suite her satirical style, but I actually think she feels bad about the crap she pulled when she was a xtian and how this hurt people she cared about.
What changed your mind.