A few days ago a 41-year-old Christian mom-blogger came out as an atheist:
I stepped out into the black winter morning.
No stars, no moon, just black.
My boots made the only noise
Crossing the icy patch to the barn.
I love the dark.
The cold dark
The cold still dark.
My chest would rise in a prayer every time.
Thank you god for this beautiful dark.
But then one morning I opened my eyes.
Or perhaps the scales fell off?
god disappeared
And behold
The cold still dark was still beautiful.
Even more so.
Since then she has posted an update with a parable describing her experience:
As some of my readers may have noted, there has been an um…. philosophical shift in this blog. To put it simply, I once was blind, but now I see. Or to put it even more simply – god is imaginary. Or to put it even more simply – I was a practicing christian in various shades, degrees and forms for the past 41 years and then within a span of a few weeks – I became an atheist.
I can’t really point to one particular event that caused the last brick to fall out of the crumbling building that was my faith. Over the past five years, it has been slowly falling apart. How about if I use a parable to explain?
You can read the parable here. I also got a laugh at her explanation of why “shit” would be appearing more:
You may have noted the rise in the usage of the word ’shit’ on this blog. Since I am no longer a christian I am giving myself permission to occasionally indulge in a well-placed curse word on this blog. It has always been my desire as a writer to use language appropriately and well and to not be offensive just for the sake of being offensive. Therefore, I promise to only use foul language when the situation absolutely demands it. Such as when referring to the bible, to god, and to homeschoolers.
* * *
I want to publicly commend Rechelle for her bravery in coming out as an atheist on her blog.
And to become an atheist in the length of a few weeks? It took me years to sort all of that out without having a breakdown.
Welcome, Rechelle, to your new life without a make-believe invisible deity. Don’t let the fundie hate email get to you, it’s just part of the territory. I know people must have said some hurtful things in order for you to turn off your comments and remove the contact form. It’s a shame people can’t be civil.
I wish you happiness and new heights of understanding the world around us.
Wow.
Just… wow.
*ditto*
^ + 999,999,999
Awesome, welcome to a true reality.
the parable was spot on
welcome to sanity Rechelle
I hope she finds this site
I’m with you nelly, the parable was spot on. I know it describes my journey quite well and, I suspect, many others.
Welcome, Rechelle, to the truth and freedom from “The Truth.”
And, of course, the reaction from people is to send her nasty hate filled emails.
Ah, the power of Christian love.
Gotta love ‘em. Wait, not I don’t. Fuckers.
I bet she goes back. Feels a little abrupt, as though preparing for a good “I dabbled in the hopelessness of Atheism” after school special.
I hope not, but that is my gut.
Reading some of her blog – I sincerely doubt it.
My first reaction was that as well, DAG. However, as I thought about it, I think that that might not be the case. Her arrival at this position isn’t the result of anger or any rash decision; it is the result of some deep examination on her part–I’d hazard that these thoughts have been percolating in the back of her mind for a while, but they’ve bubbled up recently. When I think about it, my realization that I was an atheist happened along similar lines–it might appear “abrupt” to people who know me because I hadn’t really voiced my doubts before.
This is my experience as well.
I’. guessing this is spot on. The process has probably been ongoing for years, but finally has come to a head.
Welcome to the dark side Rechelle. We are a lot nicer over here!
You might be nicer. I’m a right bastard.
Ty – It’s all relative man.
Yeah, but when it’s relative to me and Jabster the only way is pleasant-ward ;)
Such courage! Poo on the people who have left her nasty-grams (she had to turn off her comments because of them)! Yeah – x-tian love. Maybe she can be a guest writer here.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step of dodging the first first rock thrown at your head.
Congratulations and welcome to Rechelle, whether she reads this or not.
In answer to a point Daniel raises:
My own deconversion was very much like this. Sort of an epiphany moment, and my faith fell apart very quickly. It did, however, take me many years to disentangle myself from the layers of stuff that a lifetime of belief had left.
yes, yes!
I remember feeling this way for years but afraid to utter it aloud, like that was going to somehow condemn me just “in case” ………
Wow. Congratulations to Rechelle and I’m sorry she’s had people sending her nastygrams. I never had any real faith to begin with, but it still took me years and years to fully embrace atheism. I think it takes a lot of courage for her to come to the conclusion she came to.
It’s astounding, isn’t it? Less than two years ago, I endured a similar awakening.
I was stunned by my sudden revelation at the time, and for many months after that. I know how disorienting and confusing, yet how liberating, this shift in perception can be. I moved from acceptance of a world anchored by a loving, personal God, to the contemplation of a vastly forbidding natural Universe, produced largely by mysterious forces, which exists for reasons that none of us entirely understand.
I never thought I would lose my faith in Christianity. I had a personal relationship with God. I cherished the time that I spent in church on Sunday mornings. I worried about integrating what I had learned about God with my secular life during the rest of the week. I defended my own Christian beliefs from my skeptical friends who lampooned them.
Over the course of a few days, I realized how empty my beliefs had been, how incoherent a description of the world they had formed, how little reality reflected my religious ideas. I knew then that I would never feel the same degree of certainty about anything. I was baptized into doubt. I accepted provisional knowledge.
I hope that you will find comfort and acceptance during your journey of discovery and inquiry. I have not often found other people outside the Internet who are willing to discuss this subject, but I am thankful for all the people in the on-line skeptical community who helped me freely gather my thoughts and impressions and come to my own conclusions. I hope that we can do the same for you, if you need that help. I wish Rechelle the best in her new voyage of uncertainty.
A “vastly forbidding” but also vastly inviting universe, no? — and produced by forces which are mysterious . . . for now. :-) Congratulations and welcome to you and Rechelle.
What a touching story! Keep looking out that window, Rechelle. There is a wonderful, wonderful world out there. Enjoy it! :)
Tough to do, so late in the game.
The games not late until it’s over.
My wife is getting her first degree at 40. I will probably be trying to get a Phd at 45 or so. I wrote my first novel this year at 40.
It’s never too late until it is. And then you won’t care anyway.
I understand, and commend that! I was merely saying that 40+ years of dogma is tough to shake off.
Oh, no doubt.
In that I totally agree.
Brothers, Sisters, our numbers increase!
First this lady.
Next, the world!
What are we doing tonight, Ty? NARF!
It is encouraging to hear about people seeing the truth and abandoning christianity. I personally found it a long and confusing time for myself. It took about 4.5 years for me because A: I am pretty gullible (so the brainwashing went pretty smoothly) and B: I’m a procrastinator. I’d love to see my younger sister realize the problems with christianity but I don’t know how to get her to think seriously about it as she is the very definition of a blind believer. Hell, my whole family is like that, but she is the only one with a fraction of a chance to be de-converted.
Bash god and the bible all you want, but stay away from the homeschoolers! :)
There must be a line drawn somewhere, I suppose…
Christian, Bibloatrist, homeschooler…
I had to just close the window. That site is awesome, and I was getting lost in it like a hedge maze.
This is fantastic! I’m having a great time reading her previous posts. I read this blog (Unreasonable Faith, not the referenced blog) religiously, as it were, and love it dearly, but have only ever commented a couple of times, long long ago.
I was inspired to comment this time because I hope that Rechelle manages to find this post via a linkback, and that she has a chance to read the supportive comments – since comments are currently closed on her blog. I just love this story, and the parable she wrote to explain here deconversion. I want to wish her the best, and no matter how things go with family and friends, it better in the light of reason, than the twilight of superstion.
Way to go Rechelle!
Great!!
Very good parable
This conversion would occur for any and every Christian who read the entire Bible as opposed to so called Bible study classes where they simply reinforce their beliefs by reading the good parts
Is there any way to contact her and wish her well (Hopefully it would get through the hate mail).
Yes, many died in the wilderness journey (from the soulical to the spiritual) on their way to inheriting that good, high, promised land (Christ as life). The majority (the ten spies) bring an evil report at the border, just shy of that good land saying “there’s giants in the land, we cant possess it”. But the few (the two spies) who had a “different” spirit believed that God was able to perform that which He had already promised, its called…faith.
But unbelief, the casting away of one’s confidence will cause us to abdicate our rightful inheritance of inestimable worth for “many are called but few are chosen” (meaning that few are willing to pay the price to be chosen, to inherit the promised “land”.)
There’s a little known verse in Proverbs (8:21) that reads “That I may cause those who love Me (Spirit of Wisdom, Christ) to inherit substance (the substance of spirit), that I may fill their treasuries” (meaning their inner man, their barren, desolate land with Himself, His life & presence, ie the “True Offer). Comments added.
And Jeremiah 12:10 speaking of the “land” (our inner man which lost its “substance” in the fall of man) God saying “its barren…desolate, and because it desolate (empty of Him, His spirit) it “mourneth unto Me” because “no man layeth it to heart”.
Few believe God, few “lay it to heart”. But oh if we do, what a wonderful, grace filled journey indeed.
Religion? No, that’s not what its all about friends, all the best.
Huh?
Definition of religion is ‘ Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe’ according to the free online dictionary.
Don’t try to divorce your belief from religion. They are the same thing. All of the dogmas you believe in is your religion.
Changing definitions is just as bad as moving the goal posts.
No, the word “religion” comes from the Latin relig (are) to tie, fasten (re- + ligare to bind, obligate). Is where we get the word “ligature”. Hence is suffocating, oppressive. Christ had the hardest time with the religious leaders. Christ (the spiritual life) is love & liberty, grace & truth, is altogether different from dead rituals, rules, etc.
John do you really think words are defined by their roots?
“Nice,” if you look it up, originally meant stupid. Does that mean when we say, “Tom is a nice guy” we mean “stupid” since that’s where the roots go?
Words mean whatever we mean them to mean, roots and previous meaning be damned. When a person says “religion,” it means whatever THEY mean, not whatever it means to you.
To you, religion is one thing that doesn’t include your superstitions. To us, religion includes your superstitions.
I don’t know why I’m even trying to explain this, though. I should know by now that you cannot be persuaded.
Thanks Daniel, couldn’t have explained it better myself.
Ive grown so weary of people claiming that they don’t have religion, but they go to this great church every Sunday! They don’t have faith, they have a relationship! It reminds me of Sam Clemens when he said ‘Faith is believing what you know ain’t’ true.’ They know that religion is BS, so they try to separate their own delusions from all the rest of the religions.
And since I called him Sam instead of Samuel, I wondered if you prefer Dan or Daniel?
EIther is fine with me.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humpty_Dumpty#In_Through_the_Looking_Glass
(I know what you’re saying, and I agree, but your phrasing just reminded me of something funny)
John, when will you realize that we’re not just against religion, we’re against all spiritual mumbo-jumbo. In our terms (not yours) “religion” = “spiritual mumbojumbo” = what you believe. :)
You need to find a new record to play, this one is getting old.
Happy New Year D!
Today is 1/26/10. This is like my second or third post all year so far. Compared to last year this time? lol, all the best.
It’s kind of like a druggie beat poem. Imagine William Shatner reciting one of JohnC’s posts.
Not that I’ve read much of the book. But I read the proverbs verse as “pray hard when you buy your scratch tickets, you’re sure to win this time.”
I really enjoyed that parable she wrote. I’m saddened by the negativity that required the comments to be closed. Can’t we all just get along?
the parable: http://mysistersfarmhouse.com/2010/01/how-i-became-an-atheist-a-parable/
Congratulations, Rechelle! You have an exciting life ahead of you. It is incredible to leave superstition behind and come to understand the world the way it actually works. All the best!
Glenn Kachmar
I remember a time when I was afraid I was going to burn in hell forever just for thinking, “What if I’m wrong?” My religious teachers liked to emphasize the burning, too. Describe just exactly how it would feel to burn and burn and burn and never burn up and stop burning. Fear…what a mighty, mighty tool. My family recognizes that I am happier than I’ve ever been once I stopped believing the lies and manipulation of Christianity, but they can’t understand why the lessons I learned so well once upon a time no longer work for me. Welcome to the light of Awareness…of Consciousness, Rechelle. I do hope you know just how much support you have, even if we are the minority.
Maybe this is the reason many religions fear atheists. They build it up as a denial of truth, and the deconversion stories, the what-ifs, that trepidation to just step outside of all beliefs in the supernatural, that makes it tougher than it has to be. With respect to other religions, I think a lot of people like to be tolerant if they can stand to. It’s not that it doesn’t matter what you believe, but that if you do believe in the supernatural, you might be persuaded to join in a different club someday. If you are having a hard time giving up your beliefs and considering atheism, it’s because atheist has been sold as something it’s bad to be, relatively. On the other hand, it sounds like religion is a magazine subscription or a gym membership that, once you’ve determined to let it lapse, they send you all kinds of incentives to renew. They don’t want to lose you, it’s very hard for me to believe they ultimately care what happens to anyone’s soul. I’m happy for anyone who can see their way out of that trap.
Good for her! I hope she doesn’t get too much hate mail.
Please pass along all the encouragement from this site to her if you know how to contact her. Great story!
I have and she said she appreciated it. :)
Would be very nice (that IS ‘nice’, not ‘stupid’ ) to hear from Rechelle on this blog – please ask herb to say ‘hi’
That is good news.
The parable was nice. I’ve always thought that the best way to get through to theists was through their use. They are so used to teaching ideas and morals through them, that it might help some ideas click. Slow methodic plodding through empirical evidence sure doesn’t work. Unfortunately, thats the only trick I have in my bag.
I hope she writes a more detailed account of her loss of faith. I’m not sure why, but stories about loosing a deeply held faith fascinate me. There is something hopeful about humans being able to turn their minds 180 degrees and take off in a new direction.
Stories of conversion to a faith are interesting too. Every story I’ve heard of a conversion to a faith is the end result of a major tragedy. Drug addiction, loss of a loved one, mental break down, they are all common themes leading people to their own particular messiah (or e-meter). The only story that comes to mind that wasn’t from tragedy was Francis Collins’ frozen waterfall. I wonder if Collins had a Christian childhood.
I wish she had comments turned on. I want to go over and congratulate her!
Hey Daniel…just had to say that I read her blog posts and laughed my ASS off! Also I felt like she described, in some major ways, what I’ve experienced pretty lately and I’d love to talk to her. Maybe she’s reading these comments?? ;) If so, please email me, Rechelle. And she needs to write a book. Thanks for the head’s up about her, Daniel. I’ll stay tuned for the rest of the saga. The relational fall-out is sure to be interesting what with the Christian homeschoolers and all. Poor thing…Christians can be the most vicious people on the planet. I’m sorry you have had to go through the stuff you’ve already gone through, Rechelle. So painful.
RAmen!
Of course, I hope Rechelle doesn’t get too comfortable in her now role as an ‘athesit’ for soon she will realise just how wrong she is and start worshipping the One True God, His Noodly Highness, The Flying Spaghetti monster.
For now. I had a revelation last night from The Holy Llama Bob of Bombay which is going to turn this world upside down. Soon.
I just wanted to join the chorus of congratulations for Rechelle. It’s hard to weather attacks from those “loving” religious types, but we’re all here to support you.
I know she’s not interested in reading emails right now, but I couldn’t help sending her my support. I felt like I had to try to at least slow down the Christian Tsunami.
I, also, was Christian of one flavor or another for 35 years. Sometimes quite devout. Always searching for the connection to God. And my “conversion” was just as fast. But I know what caused mine. Lithium. I’m bipolar. Within a couple weeks starting to take lithium, I saw that my religion had been a symptom of mental illness.
That’s awesome. I wish others saw it that way =)
Thanks to everyone for being so supportive and kind that came from this web site. It is nice to meet you all. The christians really aren’t blasting me too badly. I think the most avid ones are either leaving me alone or they don’t read the site anymore. So this is a strange new world aye? I would never have dreamed of a community of kind atheists. And yet it makes so much sense now. Of course – so many, many, many things make sense now.
Good morning (from the UK) and welcome. Welcome to sanity (or at least comparative sanity) It was a pleasure to read your inspiring story; gives me hope that the tyranny of religion may one day come to an end. Enjoy your ‘strange new world’ – there are a number of great sites you might want to explore – Atheist Nexus, the Reason Project, World Pantheism, Friendly Atheist….and enough reading to keep you busy three lifetimes if that’s your thing. Hope we’ll see more of you on this site.
BTW – your apology is brilliant!
Yes brilliant but not needed.
She just made a silly mistake a simple sorry was more than enough let the past go and start living to the fullest.
Hi again from UK.
Rechelle, I loved your parable, and the apology post.
Just wanted to say how amazing I find people like you (and many others on this site) who have managed to see through religion despite long term indoctrination.
As someone who has been atheist all my life, I sincerely doubt I’d have the strength of mind to reject religion in that way.
Welcome and congratulations!
Also hi from the UK (we’re everywhere) – *atheist internet hugs*
Of course there are groups of kind atheists.
Just as there are groups of kind any-thing-else-ists.
The wonder of humanity in all its variation.
Time to listen to some symphonyofscience …
“The wonder of humanity in all its variation.”
But who will the fittest be that survives? I choose us.
welcome Rachelle! I love this site and indeed there is a fine group of kind atheists here!
Welcome Rachelle.
Actually a community of atheists only exists because of the pushback to the creationists wanting to convert us. The biggest part of our time is living a happy life without any thought of some higher form that is controlling us.
Without the creationists we would even not be aware of being an atheist, and many atheist people have nu clue that they are atheist since they do not come in contact with religion. Yes I live in Europe I rarely see any religious people that are catholic and still go to church or talk about it. Big exception is the muslims.
Rechelle,
I read your recent blog posts aloud to my mother this afternoon. You have two new Atheist readers to your blog. Some of us even homeschool our children :). I hope you find us out here in the blogosphere.
Rechelle, I read your posts (the parable and apology, linked by Daniel) and wanted to say that I enjoyed reading them, well done, and congratulations. (And good luck, keep it up, be strong.)
One of the nice things about friendly atheists is that we are friendly because we want to be, not because we’re afraid of the big scary ceiling cat.
I was enjoying reading her parable (having followed this same path less than 10 yrs ago), but I was stopped dead in my tracks when later in her post – she reserved the right to use foul language against several things – including ‘homeschoolers’.
being an athiest homeschooling mother, i can only imagine who/what she’s come up against that makes her feel anger toward this group. while we are mostly represented in the media by ultra conservative Christians with uber large families (ie. the Duggars of 19 Kids and Counting fame) or the images of the uber-crunchy, hippy parents in thier earth shoes, making organic granola.
While both exists – both are at the extreme opposite ends of the spectrum of homeschoolers. We fill every void in between, too. For every person that she’s ever met – there is a different way & lifestyle of homeschooling.
I hope she gets some further exposure to “us”. There are some good ones out there…
being an athiest homeschooling mother
Oh, so you’re an athiest? And you have this teaching thing figured out. Who neds schuls, rigth?
At first I thought, that was uncalled for, but then I thought, there are spell-check plug-ins for a reason and if you’re going to be teaching kids anything, you should maintain a certain standard in your own work at the very least.
So good teachers never make spelling mistakes or typos in blog comments?
A spelling mistake in a teacher is inexcusable.
I am speechless. You do realize your standards are impossible, right? Everyone makes mistakes.
I’m surprised you think my standard are impossible. Everybody makes a typo here and there, but spelling correctly isn’t that hard. And even that can be excused in an average person, but not in a teacher.
I thought only I lived on planet Dick.
I’m on 24th and Throbby, where you at Bender?
“my standard are impossible”
Lucky you’re not a teacher then …
“my standard are impossible”
Except sex with students.
Well, she committed an error in spelling. BURN HER!!!
Bender you sound like a creationist!
Intolerant when you deviate from the perfect truth, your truth!
“Intolerant”? “My truth”? I think a teacher should be able to spell. When did that become a radical idea?
It’s not the “teachers should be able to spell” that we have a problem with. Of course they should. It’s the “a spelling mistake in a teacher is inexcusable” part. It’s like saying that it’s inexcusable for programmers to create a bug.
Funny you mention that. I am a programmer. Or used to be, I don’t work on that anymore, but I assure you writing a computer program is considerably harder than spelling.
There is something to be said for context. A person is much more likely to be careful about their spelling when teaching than when they are typing an entry on their blog.
Nevertheless, Bender, if you made a mistake, then you CLEARLY should have been burned…or at least had one of your fingers cut off for making such an inexcusable mistake.
I’m guessing English is the only language you speak? I’m also guessing that Bender’s English is better than your German.
My point really was only that people should try a little harder, especially when the only form of communication is written (and English is not the only language I speak).
Come on please cut the crap.
Perfect writing skills is no guarantee of intelligence. All you prove is that you have good writing skills that is all.
And every time I see some discussion about some spelling mistake it turns out someone that has a low self-esteem trying to hid the fact that it is the only thing they can do.
I work with very intelligent people every day using 3 different languages mixed together and writing skills are the last thing we care about.
Only when you are a language teacher, then it is important to write good English.
I taught English in Japan for 4 years, which has made me a lot less tolerant of sloppy grammar, and spelling where it changes meaning. The number of people who have problems with there/ their /they’re is worrying, but surely the occasional spelling mistake is forgiveable?
nope – never pretended to have this schooling thing all figured out. Nor do I think I’m perfect. What I do have figured out is that the need to attack someone for minor failings (such as mis-spelling or mis-typing a word) says FAR more about the person *needlessly* pointing it out – than it does about the person who did the mis-typing. I’m neither impressed with, nor in fear of your useless rant.
Nobody’s perfect. I make typos all the time, and yes, a misspelling is an insignificant flaw in most people, but not in teachers. If the teacher can’t spell what can you expect from the student? You really think you’re giving your son the best possible education?
When they’re typing on a message board they aren’t teaching kids. Your complaint would have merit if and only if they demonstrated the same lax spelling habits in the schoolroom.
I disagree. Grammar is not something you can turn on and off. If you need a special concentration just to spell you shouldn’t be a teacher.
Actually, it is literally something that a person turns on and off, or more technically, switches from one rule set to another. In Communications Studies, it is called code-switching, and describes the process of shifting between grammar, syntax, and vocabulary sets given the changing level of formality, intent of communication, and audience.
A teacher need not sound like a teacher all day, and may in fact not take the same care with an informal blog discussion that they may if they were teaching that material to a pupil.
Grammar isn’t spelling.
Thiss sentance iz purfektlee gramattickle.
Oh, Bender. How does it feel being such a ginormous prick?
Let the dick stew in its own prickishness.
As a fellow atheist homeschooling mom, I felt a little jolt at the ridicule of homeschoolers as well. But I can’t say I blame her, either. After reading her blog, I understand why so many “good xian homeschoolers” were attracted to her writing. And I know from experience how nasty those same people get when they feel threatened. Perhaps when she opens up her blog for comments again we can point her to the Atheist Homeschooler Blog ring to get to know some of us a bit better.
I was enjoying reading your critique of her post, but I was stopped dead in my tracks when later you seem to disparage home made granola.
I luvs me some home made granola. It is -really- good.
I hope you have a chance to make some at home. You’ll see that there is some good granola to be had in your very own abode.
\For every person that she’s ever met – there is a different way & lifestyle of XYZ.\
A widely applicable statement, as noted by the substitution. I agree 100%.
That’s kind of how it was for me, just did something I truely enjoy and it just hit me that without a god, all of this still existed, and it was all still so amazing. Just because we don’t believe in god doesn’t mean we don’t think the world around us is a work of art. It just had a different kind of artist. Evolution. And bravo, I know how difficult it is to tell people, who were so happy and used to you being a christian, that you’ve decided there is no god. I agree whole heartedly and hope she stays strong in her new belief.
I am very impressed with the article I have just read. I wish the writer of unreasonablefaith.com can continue to provide so much practical information and unforgettable experience to unreasonablefaith.com readers. There is not much to say except the following universal truth: The keyboard is mightier than the pen, and the pen is mightier than the sword, but the atom bomb kicks ass… I will be back.