Congrats to Rebecca from Michigan and Matthew from TX for winning the atheist t-shirt giveaway! And thanks to the 372 of you who participated and to Atheistyle for giving away the shirts!
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Bugger… I prayed so hard to get one of those…
But did you sacrifice a virgin? I think that might of been the key.
My OT side prefers the sweet savor of burnt animals, only “clean” animals mind you. I’ve never answered prayers based on a virgin being sacrificed. Come to think of it, I never answer any prayers. I’m too busy trying to track down that satan character.
You must have enjoyed the sacrifice of Jephtah’s daughter, though. What sick irony!
Just to set the record straight, I never told Jephthah to sacrifice his daughter. He offered her up on his own. I was off counting the stars or the hair on someone’s head at the time. Unlike my buddy Abraham, who I played my version of truth or dare with.
Ah! And innocent oversight. See how wrong we can be about you?
You obviously prayed to the wrong god.
Hmph. The virgin thing didn’t work at all.
First, I sacrificed one and a half virgins. One of them said she received oral but never had penetration. Then, I unbaptized myself with five gallons of fresh, cashmere goats blood, delivered to me by my friend Jesus Morales. He owed me ten bucks so I got a good deal.
To follow up, I inverted five crosses, listened to Ozzy Osborne’s, Bark at the moon, backwards and BAM!
I WON!!!!
Well, I did not win this contest but I did win a pair of tickets to the 2012 Republican National Convention. Anybody want to go with?
I can’t wait for my new shirt to come in. It looks like being a pirate not only cools the earth but also helps you win HeriTic t-shirts. Thanks for the great shirt and site :-D