by VorJack
I could probably write a post a day about the sex abuse scandal that is rocking the Catholic Church. Certainly there’s enough material coming down from the various news sources. Its actually surprising that the scandal doesn’t have its own name and graphic on the news yet.
Over at Killing the Buddha, Mary Valle has some suggestions for what we should be calling this scandal, since I suppose “Catholic Watergate” would lead to too many “deep throat” jokes:
1. The Fall of Rome (The Fall for short)
2. Molesticon
3. The Great Exorcism
4. Sinfest
5. #RapeFail
6. Suffer the Rapists (into Hell)
7. Extreme Extreme Unction
8. Eyelog
9. Sticky Fingerlooza
10. Holy Chickenhawks!
It’s a situation that definitely brings out the dark humor. Any other suggestions?
Paedogate or paedofail would be my favourites, but I’m guessing that the news media will go with something tame like abusegate.
“The Beginning of the End”
I can’t agree with this for a name of this scandal. I think the Catholic Church will take a hit but there are enough people who have power outside of the church due to the church, that it will continue to exist. I figure there will be a few smart members who will come up with a plan that will begin to deflect most of the negative PR and most of the church leadership will change hands within the next few years. Once they get the change in leadership they will adjust their view of what it means to be a Catholic and evolve as they have before.
Benedict’s Organ
Biting the forbidden fruit
Sexorcism (Note: This is the actual title to a hentai anime)
Commandment 69
damn, I give up – too busy loling at Cloisterfuck
rapibacy
hide and see
publish or parish
choose life, with no chance of parole
rape and seek
felonious monk
preach around
dirty sinchez
hide the solemny
Preyboy
Hot damn, that’s the punniest thing I’ve read all day.
How do you get a nun to have sex?
…..
Dress her up as a choir boy!
Pope Protects Paedophile Priests, Pleads Pogrom Persecution
I think the system ate my comment so I’ll try again, apologies if it ends up coming up twice:
A catchy potential headline:
Pope Protects Pedophile Priests, Pleads Pogrom Persecution.
It’s been used before, but “No child’s behind left” seems to fit the bill.
WIN!
“Pope in deep poop!”
CloisterFuck?
MillStonewall?
CloisterFuck! Bwahahahahah… Priceless.
“CloisterFuck?” Winner, absolutely.
In a close second is “Preach Around,” from earlier in the thread.
Brill :-) Cloiserfuck is brill
Pope’s Pedophile Prancers?
I’m having a hard time coming up with funny name, ’cause it’s not really that funny.
That said, VorJack has a point about the media not yet having given it a name. I’m not sure why. Maybe they’re trying to be tasteful or respectful … but of the Church, or of the victims, I have no idea. “Abusegate” seems an obvious and fairly neutral name, but I haven’t heard it used.
On my blog I use the tag “catholic clerical abuse scandal” for all posts on the subject. But that’s just my own choice. Names like “priestly pedophilia” are too restrictive in meaning, since if one includes things like the Magdalene laundries, nuns were guilty of abuse also; and the accusations of abuse go beyond only sexual assaults or “pedophilia.”
Unholy Fuck!
I don’t recommend Sinfest, as that is the name of a webcomic (whose author may or may not want free hits, ask him first).
The theme music could be “Oh, Nightly Hole” (instead of Oh, Holy Night)
How did everyone miss the obvious? Pedogate.
St Petogate?
Oh. Their. God
Just unbelievable – the childish, petulant arrogance of these people! The problem is not that a bunch of Roman Catholic priests raped and abused children, no, that’s not the problem at all! The problem is that the rest of us are indulging in “petty gossip” and we need a “spiritual conversion” to the Roman Catholic church (presumably so that they can have a whole fresh batch of children to rape).
I haven’t seen a scandal mishandled this badly since…well, really, ever.
It’s very, very revealing about the Catholic Church, though. They’re used to absolute, complete power over their sheeple – what they say is to be treated as unquestionable truth. Now they’ve encountered the rest of us who are wise to their priestly confidence trickery and don’t know what to do:
“It’s as bad as anti-semitism! Oh, shit, no – we actually brought this on ourselves, didn’t we? And we were some of the worst anti-semites too… Yeah, forget I said that.”
“You’re all SUCH gossips! Stop slandering us! What do you mean it isn’t slander if it’s true?”
“Hey, I know, you’d all stop hating the Church so much if you just converted to Catholicism! Yeah! THat’s the answer!”
Oh, and “It’s all the New York Times fault for doing what they do in reporting news! How dare they report the news which is bringing attention to decades of child rape and conspiracies!”
These people really need to hire Max Clifford or someone. Every single day they manage to make themselves look worse, and how much effort does it take to make pedophiles and those who hid them from the authorities look worse?!
They make it seem effortless…
“Petulant arrogance” – perfect!
New Headline (with thanks to the Manic Street Preachers):
If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next.