The End is Beginning

by VorJack

Bad news for Fred Clark (AKA Slacktivist), but maybe good news for his readers: Tim LeHaye is coming out with another round of the “worst books ever written.” Bill Berkowitz has all the painful details over at Talk2Action.

On April 20, Zondervan, a HarperCollins company which describes itself as “a world leader in Christian communications,” published “Edge of Apocalypse,” the first novel in a new series of apocalyptic novels called The End, co-authored by LaHaye and Craig Parshall. Zondervan, which released the book on April 20, is promoting “Edge of Apocalypse” as “an apocalyptic epic infused with political intrigue ripped from today’s headlines.” It will have a first print run of 250,000 copies.

LaHaye and Parshall are giving the public a kind of “son” of The Left Behind series: more threats from rogue states, more betrayal in Washington, more talk of the Rapture and the Last Days, and perhaps most importantly — in a “ripped from today’s headlines” kinda way — “a secret group known only as The Patriots [that] can save the United States from terrorists abroad and traitors within.”

Set in the near future, “Edge of Apocalypse,” according to Zondervan, “jumpstarts the series as military-hero-turned-inventor Joshua Jordan attempts to save Manhattan from two nuclear missiles. Using his Return to Sender military defense system, Jordan finds himself facing an unbearable ransom to the nation he loves. As tensions escalate and global alliances topple, only Jordan and a secret group known only as The Patriots can save the United States from terrorists abroad and traitors within. Set in the very near future, The End series chronicles the earth shattering events which eventually lead up to the Rapture and the beginning of the prophesied Last Days of mankind.”

Gone is Jerry Jenkins, in his place is Craig Parshall, “a highly successful lawyer from the Washington D.C. area and the author of the legal thrillers, Chamber of Justice series. He has also co-authored three books with his wife Janet [a leading right wing radio talk show host] including their new Thistle and Cross Series.”

Any hope for improvement was quashed by that last sentence. I used to listen to “Janet Parshall’s America” (now off the air). What it lacked in irony, subtlety and nuance it tried to make up for in patriotic music and bile. If the husband is anything like the wife, this new series may be even worse than the last.

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27 Responses to The End is Beginning

  1. Nox says:

    Maybe LaHaye figured out most of his readers were teabaggers and decided to give them their own book. Seriously “a secret group known only as The Patriots [that] can save the United States from terrorists abroad and traitors within.”? I guarantee this is gonna be teabagger pandering. And I bet I can predict what race the antichrist will be in this series.

    • CoffeeJedi says:

      Spot on, took the words right out of my mouth.

      • Revyloution says:

        I can just imagine it now. A crack squad of ex military teabaggers. All over 50, overweight, and as subtle at a baseball bat to the side of the head. Reliving all the glory they failed to get in Vietnam.

  2. mikespeir says:

    They’re worried about our souls. It has nothing to do with money. In fact, I’m sure they’ll just give away the books….

  3. trj says:

    Yes, I suppose the hero had to have a name like Joshua Jordan.

  4. Siberia says:

    The annoying thing is, in the hands of a skilled writer (emphasis on ‘skilled’), this story could actually be interesting (as the piece of pure fiction it is).

    • JonJon says:

      As I’ve grown up, and my taste in books has improved, I have only found one worthwhile series of books billed as “Christian.” They are really good though.

  5. Peter Cross says:

    a new series of apocalyptic novels

    How many series of apocalyptic novels will they be able to finish before the real apocalypse? Shouldn’t they be hiding in a cave somewhere, wearing sackcloth and fasting?

  6. Jasowah says:

    “Set in the near future, “Edge of Apocalypse,” according to Zondervan, “jumpstarts the series as military-hero-turned-inventor Joshua Jordan attempts to save Manhattan from two nuclear missiles. Using his Return to Sender military defense system, Jordan finds himself facing an unbearable ransom to the nation he loves. [...] beginning of the prophesied Last Days of mankind.””

    Oh my goodness. This book sounds like it was written sarcastically by Stephen Colbert. I almost want to read it just so I can draw pictures of the story at different points. You know, like a story board that only depicts the most AWESOME and ridiculous scenes.

    • Peter Cross says:

      Joshua Jordan attempts to save Manhattan from two nuclear missiles.

      Um, so he is attempting to flout God’s will and interfere with the apocalypse? And he’s the good guy?

    • Siberia says:

      Oh please, please, please do!

      • Jasowah says:

        If I do, I will surely post them here (if allowed).

        • Jasowah says:

          Lol, okay, so far I have bought this book for around $10 (paperback) from Chapters, and I have to say, it. is. great.

          It’s only about 460 pgs, but it’s a huge book (large print spaced out). The chapters are also, on average, 8 pages long, so the story moves along quickly and simply.

          It hasn’t really preached too much yet (besides end times junk), and I would have stopped reading if it wasn’t so awesome.

          The first picture I’m probably going to draw is one depicting the first scene, in which an American Navy Plane is hit by an EMP (or so they guess). So nothing works, except one of the soldier’s Ipods, which plays Hank Williams, which “[seems to encourage the soldiers]“. Then they are attacked by two ruthless, evil MiG’s (from North Korea, as they are flying over it), who ONLY SHOOT 1 MISSILE each, at the “crippled american plane” (that’s ALL they do). One hits the flares they launch (how? electrical is down), the other they DODGE by doing a nose dive, cutting their engines, and then starting them back up before they hit the ground (yay miracles!). So their several ton ship makes a recovery, but the missile hits the ground. o_O
          OH, and also in doing this amazing maneuver, they manage to lose the MiG’s for long enough for 2 American fighters to “[UTTERLY ANNIHILATE]” them.

          This summary is loose because I’m doing it at work, but I assure you, I could not put this book down, or stop laughing, or saying “WHAT?”.

          Once I finish I will start drawing. I’m starting to think that this would make a better comic though. ^_^

  7. brgulker says:

    only Jordan and a secret group known only as The Patriots can save the United States from terrorists abroad and traitors within.

    So, Iran and Obama caricatures are bound to … abound?

  8. yahweh says:

    Nuclear missiles and Manhattan, terrorists and traitors? Sounds like a plot line for “24″.

  9. burpy says:

    I have a bit of a soft spot for apocalyptic fiction. I´m currently reading Max Brooks´ “World War Z”. Where most skeptics seem to be into “World of Warcraft¨” , sci-fi and comic books. I like the pessimism of an imagined return to the dark ages. Anyway, what I wanted to ask was; has anybody read any of the “Left behind” series? Are they any good as literature?

    • JonJon says:

      They are not very good. I promise. I have read them all (somehow).

      If you like returning to the dark ages, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emberverse_series

      Good stuff, well written.

      • JonJon says:

        To be fair to the series, there are moments where things start to get a little cool. They stop pretty quick though.

    • Siberia says:

      I’ve heard of Emberverse. Shall try to check it out.

      I’ve read excerpts from LB. It doesn’t seem much better than your average fanfic.

      Personally, I’m typical. Sci-fi, comic books. I won’t say WoW because I never played it, but I love the Fallout series.

      • JonJon says:

        Emberverse, and Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin are the two best fantasy series being written right now.

    • trj says:

      World War Z is a great read. I recently found out a movie is planned for 2012.

      Other apocalyptic books/series I recommend are:
      * E E Knight – Vampire Earth series (alien overlords subdue the Earth)
      * Jeff Carlson – Plague Year (nano tech leaves a scorched Earth)
      * Mark Chadbourn – Age of Misrule series (the Celtic gods return) – this one got to be a bit boring to me, but many people like it.

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