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"I'm No Kin To The Monkey"
May 24, 2010 By 45 Comments
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Please say that was a Poe.
My very religious mother used to sing this song to me all the time when I was a kid, the words were slightly different when she sang it but its the same tune, and I’m pretty sure that she was singing that back when she was a kid in church too.
So no, I don’t think its POE, or if it is, there is somewhere else that its real.
I wonder if it’s true that those who don’t think we came apes are actually intellectually more closely related to apes than those who do. No offense to the apes intended.
I have that thought too. I looked at mullahs and went, “Those guys look a lot like monkeys. With the hair and the mindless chattering.”
They are, of course, misled and “don’t know much about” science since we didn’t COME from monkeys, rather we have an ancestor in relation to the primate. Bumbling idiots.
I find your lack of cladistics disturbing.
lol
Sorry Caroline, Michael could have been kinder as you are partially right: we didn’t come from any nowadays monkey, we share a common ancestor with them. But that ancestor was also a monkey (although you could use the word “simian” if you feel more comfortable).
“In the terms of biological systematics, a clade is a single “branch” on the “tree of life”, a monophyletic group”. A clade consists in “1) all the descendants of an ancestral organism and 2) the ancestor itself”.
If you take a look to our cladistic classification, we are in the family Hominidae and superfamily Hominoidea with all the other species being called “apes”. So our common ancestor with them -currently extint- should logically be called an ape.
Hominoidea is a branch of Catharrini (Old world monkeys) and together with Platyrrhini (New world monkeys) they form the infraorder Simiiformes (simians). It would be pretty logical then to assume that our common ancestor with all of them was also a monkey (it was withouth doubt a simian).
In fact, “simian” and “monkey” could be synonims but -probably because of our anthropocentrism- it is in general accepted that “simians” include “monkeys” and “apes” (although as I said before, “apes” are a branch of “old world monkeys”).
Yes. Essentially, we (H. sapiens) are humans (genus homo), along with Neanderthals and perhaps some other species, including the basal of all of them, the “first human species.” Humans along with a few extinct genera like Australopithecus are part of subtribe hominina (no common name), which itself, along with several other subtribes like panina (the chimpanzees and relatives) are hominines (tribe hominini), as is the basal species of all hominines. The hominines along with the gorillines (gorillas and relatives) and the species basal to both are hominins (subfamily homininae). The hominins along with the pongins (orangutans and relatives) and other extinct subfamilies are hominids (family hominidae), a family also commonly called the “greater apes.” The hominids along with the hyloblatidae (gibbons, also called “lesser apes”) are hominoids (apes). The hominoids along with the cercopithecoids (family cercopithecoidea, encompassing Old World monkeys and relatives) are catarrhines (parvorder catarrhini). Catarrhines along with platyrrhini are simians (infraorder simiiformes, also called “higher primates”). Simians along with tarsiiformes (tarsiers and relatives) are haplorrhines (suborder haplorrhini, also called “dry-nosed primates”). Haplorrhines along with strepsirrhini (suborder strepsirrhini, including prosimians like lemurs and lorises) are primates (order primates).
So you can see that we are not only related to primates, we are primates, and so are all of our ancestors for the past few tens of millions of years. Further, not only are we related to apes, we are apes, and so are all of our ancestors for the past few million years. Now, we are sometimes considered not to be monkeys, because the term “monkey” commonly means “all simians except apes,” but that is arbitrary and ridiculous. Cladistically, we are monkeys, as our ancestors were certainly monkeys (early simians).
So we ARE humans, hominines, hominins, hominids (greater apes), hominoids (apes), catarrhines, simians (monkeys), haplorrhines (dry-nosed primates), and primates, as well as all higher clades (e.g. mammals). We do not grow out of our ancestry, ever.
However, we are NOT (nor are we descended from) any other EXTANT clade, which should be obvious. For example, we are not descended from chimpanzees or gorillas.
I got to one minute twenty four before I face-palmed and turned it off. Anybody beat me?
Watched the whole thing. It was a mistake. My face has been so heavily palmed I think I have a hand print on my forehead.
I made it through, unfortunatly. Just kept shaking my head, embarrassed by the fact that I used to sing songs like that in church.
Right? It reminded me of summer bible school for reason. Gross.
Better to come from dirt than from monkeys. Hmmm, I wonder. God made man from the soil of the earth, right? What did he make the monkey from?
LOL! I’m gonna use that. “Dirt: WAY better than monkeys.”
The vibrato in that one guy’s voice made my brain feel like it was being kneaded with ground glass and formed into a meatloaf.
LOL! You win!!
Lol! My thoughts exactly! He’s got that “old time religion” vibrato!
There is no better way to demonstrate your ignorance than to sing about it badly.
All three were horrible. The text, the music and the singers. Any monkey would tell you that much!
I’m terribly sorry to say that not only do I know this song, but I have sung it and believed it and taught it to my congregation when I was a pastor. I even attended and enjoyed Kent Hovind’s seminars on creationism twice, and used the material I got there to preach and teach from. It strikes me as incredibly odd how someone with above average intelligence who now fully accepts the Big Bang, Abiogenesis, and Evolution could ever have allowed himself to be such a complete moron.
I think this says more about the power of religion to ensnare otherwise intelligent people than anything about you!
Cal, don’t worry about it. It can happen to anyone.
But it is very interesting for me to understand how did you got into this web of misguidance?
Wow. Cal. I was so depressed when I saw this video, but now I feel much better to know that it is in fact possible to recover from this sort of religious belief. What happened that made you see the light of science?
This is the Real Power of religion: to make smart people think incredibly stupid things. (See poor Pascal…)
I was never taken in by religion. I started having serious doubts about Allah when I was 12. I then gave up on all religion and God completely when I was around 14. It was while I was reading Catch-22 by Joseph Heller and came across this passage:
“And don’t tell me God works in mysterious ways,” Yossarian continued, hurtling on over her objection. “There’s nothing so mysterious about it. He’s not working at all. He’s playing. Or else, He’s forgotten all about us. That’s the kind of God you people talk about – a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a supreme being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when he robbed old people of their power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?”
“Pain?” Lieutenant Schiesskopf’s wife pounced upon the word victoriously. “Pain is a useful symptom. Pain is a warning to us about bodily dangers.”
“And who created the dangers?” Yossarian demanded, He laughed caustically. “Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! Why couldn’t He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person’s forehead? Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn’t He?”
“People would certainly look silly walking around with red neon tubes in the middle of their foreheads.”
“They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony or stupified with morphine, don’t they? What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power he had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering. It’s obvious. He never met a payroll. Why, no self-respecting businessman would hire a bungler like Him as even a shipping clerk!”
It was at that moment that I went, “Fuck religion.”
I’m 15 now, and I still don’t understand how intelligent people are taken in by religion.
Welcome to the dark side.
I like Montey python’s take on the same idea.
This kind of ignorance is a disease.
The “surely, surely it’s true” sounds a little desperate….
I look at this and think of the songs they sang in the movie ‘Inherit The Wind’.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ2Z-v0CZbk
and the remake
http://www.hulu.com/watch/34114/inherit-the-wind
Monkey see; monkey do.
I’ll go ahead and save you all the trouble of stating that my post was FTW.
@Mark Mukasa FTW!
I’m no kin to the fundie.
The fundie’s no kin to me.
[The ryme is a little ( a lot?) forced, but remember that english is not my language]
I don’t know much about their ancestors
but mine didn’t burn
witches
I tried to find something about mine not being cousins but couldn’t think of anything.
we can probably use:
I don’t know much about their ancestors
but mine DID swing from a tree.
retards
Matthew:
Check out the comment policy!
I hold the video performers in no higher regard than you do. But when I don’t have anything to say that will advance the discussion, I don’t comment.
chill out. Matthew is hardly brutal. Let’s not polish a turd.
How’d those idiots figure out how to run a projector?
How do they remember to breathe?
I like the start. “It seems so unbelievable”. And yet they profess that some infinitely omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent being is somehow MORE believable. Pot, stop calling the frying pan a kettle.
Whats their view on neanderthals?
As a youthful Darwin tartly remarked in a post-Beagle Notebook: “Plato says . . . that our ‘necessary ideas’ arise from the preexistence of the soul, [and] are not derivable from experience — read monkeys for preexistence.” [M Notebook (entry 128)]
I’ve changed the term “ashes to ashes…………….”
at my funeral I want someone to say “molecules to molecules, star-stuff to star-stuff”
Wow that was pretty…okay that was just awful! I had been forced to sing somes crazy songs back in my forced church days , but thank they’re God i didnt sing that one!
I hate people who think its insulting to humans to claim we are descendant from apes. That is one of the most ignorant things a person can say, and it just makes me hate religion and their made up god even more
Ignorant drivel such as this makes me cringe. I was raised in this type of stupid-ass fundie atmosphere… church services and songs so similar that it gives me unpleasant goosebumps even to watch this video. It’s quite frightening when we stop to realize just how widespread and pervasive religion really is.