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Stuff God Can't Do
May 28, 2010 By 33 Comments
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You unrependant fools!!!
God can do all of these thing and more. He performed wonderous miracles before the inventions of modern technologies such as cameras, telephones and widespread literacy. He only stopped because men have so callously sinned against Him.
Praise the Lord Goddamnit!!
A few more come to mind: working seven consecutive days; predicting the consecuences of giving snakes the ability to speak; killing anybody who isn’t an israelite…
Ha! Ever asked a Christian why God would allow a serpent to even be able to communicate with humans in the first place? That, along with, “Why would God even put a dangerous tree in a garden in the first place?” can sometimes result in some interesting head implosions.
Because the best part of knowing God is when he protects you in the fire, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego . Like if you saw the harry potter where the girl is in a ball of snakes & she relaxes (like trusts God) and then she is released from the ball of snakes. God is not stupid. Life would be boring if there were no danger. Just know that God will keep you safe.
“Like if you saw the harry potter where the girl is in a ball of snakes & she relaxes (like trusts God) and then she is released from the ball of snakes.”
So that’s another thing they have in common, the first being that they are both made up of course …
Let’s not forget destroying chariots of iron.
Write.
WIN!
Seems he can’t make AgentSmith come up with a new joke either.
http://instantrimshot.com/
A computer viral website?
Bah- dum- da!!!!!
LOL! :D
God can only do stuff approved by christians, but satan can do all things regards of christians.
Edited:*regardless*
I have regularly wondered where you are from. Your English isn’t perfect (but that’s ok!)… I’m just curious! I promise!
:D
Not my mother tongue (a smile…).
What is your mother tongue? I’m just curious…
You tempt me to have an new email here. I have learned quite a few new words here, thanks.
And where to you come from? What country?
Why are you so curious? Is my english that bad?
No! Not at all! Sorry if I seem nosey! I’m interested in other cultures and other countries and I’m curious about yours. I try to be an American that looks beyond my borders to see the rest of the world for the fascinating place that it is. If you share your country of origin with me, it gives me a chance to ask you about it… that’s all. But if you don’t want to share, that’s ok, too! :)
I love that last drawing. Totally nails that freak Rick Warren.
Love fags?
Another thing God(s) can’t do: Keep his/her/their own priests from abusing innocent children. It would have been easy enough to do and no one would have noticed if he/she/they had done it. Perfectly in keeping with the message in the Good Books.
God can’t make me eat anchovies…..
nope
not gonna do it
so there
LOL! I feel that way about raw tomatoes (especially the little popping ones. Ew!)
Blech! *willies*
I saw a good friend run over by a fire truck. I will never forget his intestines spilled all over the pavement. This happened in front of his two children. Why? My cousin is an emergency room doctor. He wanted to quit when he saw a 4 year old who’s head was run over by his family car. His 5 year old brother had put the car into reverse. Why? THERE IS NO WHY. Yes, these are just very personal stories that I’ve personally experienced, but try it for yourself, if you observe life – you will discover that there is no why, there is no point, and for a majority, life is a curse.
To add: “Stuff God can’t do” I think is equivalent to asking what does the color yellow sound like? Silly, pointless, and just betrays the ignorance of the asker. Daniel, you might as well ask: Can God divide something infinitely? The mere question betrays both the brilliance and insignificance of our human logic.
Technically synathesthiacs can hear the color yellow.
Otherwise I agree.
“Can God divide something infinitely?”
It would be enough with a formula, or do you want an experimental proof?
God can’t end the world. (“I come quickly”? You’re about 1,900 years late bud.)
Uh, that’s just stupid…God can do anything… I’m sure if God stepped in to do all the things us humans want Him to do… some of us still wouldn’t believe in him… anyways… it’s cause of sin why these horrible things happen. Yeah, blame your problems on God, not the devil…that’s just plain rational and genius.
BTW… God put the tree in the garden because he didn’t want to force His creations to obey Him but wanted them to do it of their own free will… I’m sure I’d be happy knowing people love me for me and not ’cause they have to.
Since god created the devil and since as an angel said devil doesn’t even have the presumption of free will then if either of them existed god would be responsible to anything done by the devil.