by VorJack
Johnathan Acuff, creator of Stuff Christians Like, wrote about the inspiration of his site on the CNN’s Belief Blog some time back:
As a pastor’s kid, I always found it odd that we Christians sprinkle a little church flavor on popular secular ideas and make them our own. We turned, “Got Milk” into, “Got God,” and “Adidas” into, “Add Jesus.” I feel like we often don’t use our best creativity to express our love of the person we believe created it all. So when the site stuffwhitepeoplelike.com blew up, I thought it might be fun to discuss that problem by committing that problem. I started stuffchristianslike.net thinking it would be like one of the many ideas I’ve written online.
That’s as good a way of describing the problem as any. A lot of American Evangelical pop culture seems to consist of taking something popular from the wider culture and importing it into the subculture after sprinkling it with a little magic Jesus dust.
And there’s only so much we atheists can complain.
But, seriously folks, with all due respect … just stop rapping. Please. Magic Jesus dust doesn’t work on everything.
Case in point:
And frankly, magic Jesus dust doesn’t work really well when the original was painful to begin with:
(both videos via Scotteriology. Blame him.)
Are they all vanilla ice in the first video?
I think not even Jesus could forgive that second video.
Amazing! Never thought anyone could out-vanilla vanilla ice.
Ho
Ho
Holy
She
She
Sheepshit
I had not yet had my first cup of coffee, so when I saw that post I was not yet awake enough to realize the horrors of what I was to see. “christ christ baby”? JFC……
You know, there would be a special place in hell for people who post these things if there was a hell…
I think I won’t watch it. Sometimes I stop in the middle of those things.
And even when I was a christian and read their books, it was obvious that Acuff is wrong: christians aren’t creative.
No sh!t they aren’t creative, just look at their mish-mash of Babylonian and Semitic myths, with a dash of the dying-and-reborn god, and a particular Kemetic heresy called “Aten”…. Not a damn bit of it is original, with, perhaps, the exception of the names.
Jesus’-Whiz isn’t even real cheese, it’s made to taste and look like cheese! Have they not thought that one up yet? A replicated saviour that looks like one but isn’t real! How about KD, instead of calling it Kraft Dinner it could be called Krist Dinner with all the pasta in the shape of little Jesuses. “This is my body which has been boiled for you, eat it in remembrance of me…..and get fat!”. With no actual goodness in the pasta, you might just as well feed it to your dogs! Oh dear, would that mean that Jesus has gone to the dogs? Sacrilege? Sure!….ahhh, but so much fun!
Anybody have any other ideas?
Sacrilege, yes. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is probably pissed at you.
I like the Poe slogans
“Jesus loves you, but he’s not ‘in love’ with you.”
“God hates pie!” (specifically for counter-protests of WBC nutters)
But the absolute best graffiti I have ever seen was:
Somebody wrote this in a portoshitter on an army base: “JESUS SAVES”
Somebody else added this “15% OR MORE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO.”
Maybe that is an old one, but it was a new one to me. I laughed really hard, which was awkward due to the short line of soldiers quietly waiting for their turn to use the latrine.
“Jesus saves, everyone else takes 1d10 damage.”
Only 1d10? I thought 10d4 would be better.
Depends on what’s doing the damage, I guess. I mean, are we talking Elder Dragon damage, or piddly little Troglodyte damage, here?
I thought of a few “Jesus saves” once, but they were kind of lame, like, Jesus saves all of his toenail clippings in a cigar box he keeps in the back of his broom closet. Everyone has heard of his delusions of grandeur but are not apprised of his other symptoms.
Thanks for the chuckle….I loved it!
Hahahaha. I like those. Thanks.
Jesus saves his files .
Jesus saves at my local bank.
Bank, you say….as in sperm bank? Praise the Load!!
*snrk*
But will there be a second cumming?
Jesus Saves! Gretzky Scores!
Didn’t realize that Jeff Gordon was a christian rapper! He needs to stick with driving!
Jesus saves water, and doesn’t flush.
If it’s yellow, let it mellow….